寵物不再受濫虐$!寵物現在真正是人類一起走的伴侶!

好的, 還有什麼? 因為我一直有研究/跟進 Desteni而我 (笑) 不知是有幸還是什麼, 找工作都不順利而有的就是時間 就像一個圖書館工作/管理員一樣 -- 知道那些資料在那裏 和解答.

還有較先會出現的是 寵物農莊. 現今因為越大量濫捕野生竉物(如南非灰鸚鵡 $700 - $1200美元一隻)令到大量動物在途中和一切為了 '貪婪'而削減所有開支. 我問過我們怎麼會成功而其他謀利的商人會失敗 他說透過出發點是為一體等同而我們會成功. 這些 '寵物農莊'會是這樣的: 裏面有養育室, 有員工在那裏打理照顧供養這些動物(現時預飼養的是南非灰鸚鵡 和蜥蜴). 會有餐廰, (應該會有簡單遊玩設施), 有商店給公眾 '購買'寵物, 飼料和相關用品. 收入會用來支援 平等富裕金錢系統的發展(包括參政 透過民主模式 喚起一人一票改變這個世界 而事實上, 當你和我認同明白一體等同後 並且決定獻力全身投入參與支援 Desteni時, 在我眼中這已經(實質地)投了我 '寶貴的一票'.


寵物農莊不會是經濟主力只會是一個輔助. 據我現時所知主力還會放在 Desteni '我'進程(DIP)身上 -- 這才會是收入的來源. 因為人類將會完全失控 而他們會 迫切的需要這個課程來得到解脫. 當然, 現時肯聽或有 '先見之明'的人只屬極少數. 我們/我在做的是 2012年前的前期工作 -- 透過網上宣傳在織一個安全網, 而當某些人開始 感到開始自我失控了 可以(笑 希望他們)記得看過這樣的文章 或在那裏看過有關 Desteni '我'進程而在還未崩潰或自殺前可以修讀這個課程 及時取得栛助.

寵物農莊有趣的地方是我們會派人定期查看這隻寵物有否得到應有/適當的(或關懷)的照顧. 如果發現有不當/疏忽/虐待的情況出現, 我們有權/會回收這隻寵物(試問在到處都是基礎在 '貪婪'上的現今社會, 有誰會這樣真正一體等同的照顧/顧及所有一切甚至是一隻鳥. 我剛知道時真的大為讚嘆! 這系統的細緻). 最特別是如果養主 如果如老人或病人死去, 因為有些寵物如灰鸚鵡可以活到 80歲的(我記得我十多歲時有一隻灰鸚鵡飛了來那時捉了它 一起過了幾年 當然牠死的時候是頗傷心的 但的確那幾年牠帶給了我們很多幾趣的). 如果養主離世, 他的家人就需要把這些寵物交還寵物農莊, 然後或許/等待有新的飼主.

只要說的是真相/真實! 所有人都幸褔是可以出現的!

當然在這刻 我們活在一個要錢在 '生存'的世界 但如 Bernard說: 我們(出發點）是透過錢來建立一個平等富裕的金錢系統. 令所有每一個人, 小孩子, 動物, 大自然, 地球都會得到基本照顧 和平等的勞動/獻力. 而真的, 當我看了平等富裕金錢的訪問後 我真的 '愕然'了! 原來就這麼簡單, 原來只需把出發點轉化成 '為全體最大得益'為出發點, 只要利用現有的科技(科技可以說是一個騙局 真正的精英派 Elite據 Bernard說他們的生活 活在比我們先進一百年的科技層面 (笑) 在 youtube查一下 anti-gravity helicopter 反重力/地心吸力引擊已經存在 或你可以說 '發明'了 為什麼只有少數人知道 因為 '貪婪' 因為任何掌管-- 這樣說吧 科技/技術已經不再是什麼為人類謀幸福的東西 而變成是 '$' 本質是貪婪的 '財富'. Bernard說未來的 '財富'會是你怎越有效幫助其他人 而你獲得越有效的回報).

只要扭轉因為個人謀利 '貪婪' 要強迫任何消費者不必要的更換/丢棄日用品(試想像可以用超過 100年的汔車, 電腦), 百份之 95!的工廠可以關門/休息. 大家都可以有更多更多的時間 來做喜歡/應該做的事 -- 而不是為了操控其他人要利用電影(如恐佈, 性, 刺激)來加速人類/小孩與體內的心智意識系統的熔合 或利用大眾對死亡的害怕而更有效的控制羣眾 -- 這是精英派真相害怕的 -- 一少撮人控制極大多數 是需要每一個人絶對/盲目的不要問問題/分散注意力在其他有趣觀感(如所謂 UFO)事件身上/害怕 對現有系統絶對 '支持接受/服從'.

當然我開始時也不明白的 也是熱朿在極快推動透過平等富裕金錢系統 帶出 '實質'的天堂在地球. 然而 Bernard說: 只有在系統裏遵守法律的人才會有真正的力量. 是透過一個一個人的真正明白了解 Desteni的訊息而加入行列(當然這不會無限期的進展緩慢. 開始時會是有點慢 但事實只要 Desteni的訊息是真實/得到肯定/經得起時間或常識的測試 而且配合這些連環重型天災(我們還未說到關於 動物或地球, 大陽 2012年後的大罷工) 增長性會是指數性增長的! 這也是 Desteni '我' 進程(Desteni I Process, DIP) 的基礎 -- 十的次方(Power of Ten) 1-> 10 -> 100(3年) -> 1, 000 -> 10, 000 (5年)-> 100, 000, 1, 000, 000(7 年) -> 10, 000, 000 -> 100, 000, 000(9年) 恭喜! 只需 9年, 起碼一億人認同我們是一體等同的 積極投入/參與透過平等富裕金錢系統 實質帶出天堂在地球(細菌正是這樣繁殖的 只是大部份人不知道怎樣 '正確'應用它). 所以這不會是 天啊! 要透過(逐個)一個一個人的(直線性 Linear) 讓他們明白. 不! 只要訊息是真實 經得起考驗的. 過一人一票 透過民主(模式)來對這世界帶出實質改變. 任何其他的抗爭只會失敗並且帶來戰爭 帶出更多的慘痛 和給利用戰爭來謀利團體/組織謀利.

全球平等富裕農塲! 這不是夢想是事實!

对不起，这几天着实太多特发事件要处理。

還有什麼想做的? 基本上所有支援存在裏一切都是生命的一部份 為着全體最大得益出發的工作都可以做, 因為出發點已是全體最大得益 而不是個人或一少撮人的貪婪.

在未來, Desteni 將陸續在全球各國設立自供自給的農塲/合作社(kibuttz) 每個大約可以容納一百人 而在 2012年後這些農塲將會是只有這些地方才能夠耕種/生產植物的地方. 這刻(2011年6月)對某些不明白 Desteni是什麼的人可能不明白為什麼只有這些 Desteni農塲可以耕種和生產食物. 我可以簡短的說明一下: 存在裏所有一切都是察覺的 (笑) 包括我現在打的鍵盤. 而大自然正在 '反擊' 給全人類看: 人類只是總體中的一部份 人類完全甚至連看似毫無殺傷力的 '天氣'也控制不了. 這正是包括在我的視頻裏不斷說明: 越來越猛烈/惡化的天災 Desteni 已在07年(4年前) 詳細解釋過人類繼續這條一切基礎在 '貪婪'的軌道前進 這是必然陸續出現的. 你會是少數有先見之明 肯聽我們根本是一體等同的 和 Desteni免費/無私頁獻的訊息?

要明白 因為我在開始接觸 Desteni時的幾個月裏 我是不知道現時 Desteni的農塲的互聯網也要 $1200 - $1900 美元一個月! 這對我簡直是天文數字! 而 Desteni不是任何慈善團體 沒有任何優惠. 這是 Bernard 和所有認同一體等同的人 親自投入/付真金白銀(而不只是空談)來栛助我們可以 '幸褔'的接觸到 Desteni的訊息. 所有參與的人都明白/認同一體等同而獻力他們可以作為一份子/支援的. 這代表要提供這些翻譯/訊息 全都需要錢和如我現在一直做了差不多三年的義務支援. 在背後推動着我們每一個人的是在基本了解了 Desteni的 '這存在 我們是一體等同' 我對他們對所有地球 物理 天文 通靈/靈媒 死後真相 (笑) 甚至小孩子真的透過 跨次元間連接口來說他們的經歴 小男小女孩中途換人(這些片段都在 DesteniChineseTD裏有翻譯 我在翻譯中很喜歡小孩子 他們的表現). 在我來說提供的海量資料已經起越這個連接口究竟是不是人裝出來/假的(而且 Bernard所解說的如共鳴 Resonance 或時間上身對時間本身是假像/不存在的 是遠遠超越我能理解/察覺 和從未聽任何人提過 或完全不似一個人的心智意識虛構出來的).

我相信大部份在 24小時/7天在獻力的人都跟我一樣, 對 Desteni海量的資料/解說已有了基本的察覺/信心(不是盲目迷信) 然後在每一刻運用常識(common sense)來判斷/修正自己 察看 Desteni的訊息.

時間旅行!? 甚至時間都只是假像!

Bernard說: 我們不是來証明任何東西. 這是不會有証明的. 如果你認同/支援一體等同 你就應該會相信 Desteni. 因為這正正是 Desteni不斷推動的訊息 -- 我們在存在裏所有一切都是一體等同的 我們全都是來自同一個源頭 -- 生命. 那些要証明的人 然後才考慮相信的人 他們會付上要証明的代價(包括被删除). 而我們當然是永遠存在的, 我們在是這裏 (here)的, 時間 lol 哈 並不存在/不是真的. 如果時間存在 那上一分鐘的我在跑步 就不只是一的人 而會是一條柱 像錄映機的連環快拍一樣, 從過去的一分鐘 實體存在 '過' 一直無間斷的伸延到 這一分鐘的我( A 這是我) 從這 ____A -> ____ 跑到這裏 如果時間是真的 就會是 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 而不只有一個 'A' 只在特定某一點 會是一條人形隧道, 在開始時的 A是實體 那為什麼中間時 開始的 A會消失了?? 為什麼到了終點時 以前所有曾經是實體的 AAAAAAAAA 這些會離奇消失了? 不會的吧? 是你真的 '老了' 還是因為這些 '系統' 在你身體裏透過你投入參與 心智思想, 能量性情緒, 圖像性性交 等等這些令你的心智意識系統(Mind Consciousness System) 不斷在物質身體裏蔓延吸食你的身體 令它衰老.你可以察看 因為現在的心智系統已經在 6歲以前已完整殖入身體裏完成接合 我記得我小時候是從來不會打呵欠的 我在想打呵久是怎樣的 我努力去打但打不出 直到我大概 5-6歲時我在自然的打我第一個呵欠. 最近我看到我的初生小姪兒在 1歲半時已打呵久了. 這些都在 youtube的 Desetni/DesetniChineseTD視頻裏有詳解.

這已是我盡最大能力理解和解說. 是你手腕上的秒針在動 而令你覺得 '時間'有消失過 還是只是在瞬間(moment) 電池令秒針在這瞬間裏出現能量的流動/轉移? 瞹間就是能量的流動/轉動. 當能量流動開始就是瞬間的開始 當能量停止流動 就是瞬間的結束 然後等待下一個瞬間/流動的開始.

你想參與真正的研究 怎樣更完善整個生態 包括地球 人類 動物 植物 大自然嗎? 你只需要做 4年(強制性)勞動 你剩下的下半生 lol 是大半生 都不一定要工作 當然如果你需要其他不列入基本人類必須品的享受時 你是會按你的專長 評估分數 按你付出的工作時間 來平等的得到另一層 可以說是為你享受的金錢 -- 所有在平等富裕系統裏 是會有兩層金錢系統的 -- 基本 按月 '免費'政付供給 和你透過工作 '換取'的 2種錢.

為什麼一生中每天要工作 8個半小時? 有選擇嗎?

這對我們大部份所有人的影響是什麼? 我需要增加我的工廠的加班時間 我要越多越好的利潤 我減少工人的薪金並增加工作時間, 每一間公司 工廠也是這樣 所以 你看得出電燈的 '發明'有實質帶給我們任何的 '幸福'嗎? 沒有. 只令我們晚上可以為老板工作, 縮短我們的壽命. 這當然是給肯聽和我們大多數要為企業賣力的人/家庭. 一切都因為 '貪婪'. 而事實上 我們現已有科技和能力 製造可以用上一百年的車, 可以用一百年的電腦而不需要更換 或只需要極少量的維修 -- 這一切都包括在平等富裕金錢系統(Equal Money System)計劃裏面. 每一次你需要更換或買新的產品時 這代表什麼? 這代表 --

某人 某個在地球上的工人 小童奴隸工 需要付出血汗來 '製造/付出時間 勞力'來供應這些 '新'產品給你. 當然現今 這些精英派(Elite) 幕後統治者 大企業老板 小商人 他們是不會理會這一切的, 他們已迷失了化身成 貪婪的實化體機械人. 他們若再不肯聽 他們只是在等被地球大清洗的 '最後通碟/期限' 然後從這個世界上被删除. 每件新產品都是地球上某個奴隸工人 因為沒有錢已被奴隸著在工廠裏工作. 而事實上如 Bernard說: 在平等富裕金錢系統裏 地球上百份之 95的公廠都會關掉 而每一個支援存在裏所有一切都是一體等同的人 都平等的活在百萬富翁般的生活 所有每一個人都只需要 勞動 4年! 然後你就可以退休, 活你想活的生活 你想和家人一起周遊歴國一年 甚至三年 五年也可以(因為我最愛到不同的地方 與不同的人交談/交流 我的願望是可以在不同的國家住上一年 周遊世界 lol當然小時候的夢想是 如果能夠給我研究一生 探索宇宙的奧妙 所有的星體 星雲 當然! 哈哈 我是 '賺到了' 我不需要研究而在這 2年半差不多 3年 Desteni的研究旅程中 我解答了所有這些問題 而我得著的比我一生中 所過這幾十年還要保守估計多上幾萬倍)

你想和你的寵物有更多時間相處嗎? 可以因為你 4年後就不 '一定要上班' 所有你的住屋 基本食物食水 衞生 醫院 交通 基本必需品 全都會由 '將來的政府'按月照顴給你. 因為出發點已經由個人/企業化的 '貪婪' 而轉化成為所有每一個人都是平等是生命的一部份 每一個人都要平等的有尊嚴的活這一生. 這不單是給我們自己的最大禮物 還是給我們的孩子 和將要到來/出生的小孩子的最終最偉大的貢獻/禮物. 正如 Bernard說: 你不知道的, 可能將來你會再回到地球 又一次來到 某許是一棵樹 一塊石頭 是人類 或動物 你想活在這樣完全 瘋狂失控在性和貪婪下的地球/世界嗎?

新的政府 剩下來的人 最基本必須要有的 就是對一體等同的認同和支援. 其實如 Bernard說: 現在已經決定了 所有不支援 一體等同(我會說包括 Desetni)的人 這些不認同不支持的人 會在十年間以各種不同的方式 進入他們的死亡進程 會以各種不同的方式 包括自殺(是的 所有在人類裏面的系統 現已被移去 如果你仇恨某人想比如殺了他 那你將會逐漸與這思想一體等同 並且 '將會'失控並真的幹出來 特別在盛怒下 被新邪靈 demon在那一刻佔控了你), 意外, 疾病等等 等等.

解決世界上一切問題的根源

大家好, 我是 Fred 張. 我們有極嚴重的問題 也有極簡單的解決辨法 -- 平等富裕金錢系統(Equal Money System)!

我們現今世界一切一切的痛苦 種種問題的根源就如 Bernard說一切都因為 '貪婪'. 所有大企業, 個人, 小公司, 家庭所有一切的產品 人生目標都是貪婪. 而為什麼我們會貪婪 依我看只有兩種原因: 1. 想不勞而獲, 想享盡天下的性交和娛樂. 2. 害怕會將來會哀敗/失去金錢所以要迷失了自己而盲目積累金錢 -- 而自己逐步逐步的化身成貪婪的本質(這些人如果在將要出現的大清洗中如果剩下來 還生存的話 我肯定有治療設施會給他們治療貪婪的進程給他們).

看一下我們現今的經濟模式 -- 所有產品都越來越快會壞掉! 我小時候一輛汔車可以用 20年, 我中學的時候一輛汔車只可以用大概 13-15年, 現在一輛車只可以用 8年. 看我們的打印機越來越 '單薄/快爛' 我讀大專時可以用上 6-8年 我最近要買的我想只可以用 3-4年. 對有很多錢的人來說這對他們完全沒有影響的. 但對一般家庭而言 這代表每 3-5年這個又要買新的 那個又要買新的. 為什麼要這樣活? 你看得出這全因為貪婪的, 對嗎?

因為大企業家, 小商人, 上班族全都滿腦子是貪婪(除了性以外 lol). 你要賺更多錢, 我要賺更多錢, 他/她也要賺更多錢 那出現什麼情況, 運用一般常識(common sense), 那你 我 他/她全都製造一些 挑起大量渴望 想要得到 我想擁有享受這產品 但所有製造商又不斷推出 越快壞越好的產品 這樣無形中所有生產商 大企業老板都透過 '不斷縮短你需要更換/購買的 年期/月期' 在你不察覺的情況下花越來越多的錢, 那我不夠錢 那我被迫怎樣做? 我也推出一些越快爛/壞越好的產品來 '增加交易/我的利潤次數' 然後他/她買了我的產品他/她也被強迫增加消費次數 繼而照樣生產 '越快壞越好的產品'.

Vancouver Canucks Riot, 1994 +17 years = 2011 Outbreak!

Let's begin with this conclusion from Wikipedia -- 1994 Stanley Cup riot.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1994_Stanley_Cup_riot

"17 years later, the Canucks played the Boston Bruins in the Stanley Cup Finals, and again lost game 7. This resulted in a riot, much like the one in 1994. Many stores were looted and many injured just like the 1994 Riot"

So what happened here after 17 years the same ending same riot out break? First this is an very good example showing we as human has never evolved. The source of problems have never been resolved. We have never resolved and if 17 years later we face another final hockey play(and anticipated we are likely to lose base on past history) almost certain will end up in riots again.

In my view, the crown instigated by some mop and spreading like fire because they are poor and want to use this riot opportunity to exert their frustrations and condemn the rich. This is another sign that has shown the current capitalistic system already have a serious flaw that everyone are not equally taken care of -- there are always slave and poverty class that you are on your own.


What will happen after 2012 are outbursts like these are more likely to happen, even for so called 'peaceful' Vancourists with well known nice and comfortable weather. I have been living in Vancouver for about 13-15 years now, if this can happen here in Vancouver I believe these riots will happen more compounded and worsen in places like US. Don't you agree Survival is the number one battle that we are struggling everyday, and we accumulate tons of pressure or emotions inside us?



The point is the cause of the riot is never understand/taken care of. Greediness, Ego, Poverty, Emotions and Desires -- How the ego(and demon possessions when you become possessed you become another person without you realizing your were being taken over). The lose of the game is just the wrapping paper that covering the real cause real problems that we are facing.

Most people at this moment just see it as an exciting singular event just like sports -- don't you agree that's what the media is feeding us? It is not for the best for all but to simulating, arousing sex desires and violent -- as long as it's exciting they will edit it into Hollywood movie style clips broadcast and program us. They think: I will never act like that I have self-control I am in control of myself. We are here to tell those that will listen: Losing self-control and being possessed by the new demons after 2012.

It might look bizarre but that is going to happen.

When anyone's become one and equal to angirness, he/she(mostly a male) would lose control and act out what is in his/her mind as their thoughts.

So wouldn't it be wise before it is too late(we are talking about serious self inflicting brutality and life of death here -- after 2012) before it is too late? I would really suggest everyone that are interested or willing to listen investigate what is Desteni-I-Process and what Desteni really stands for -- What is Equal Money System and what is Oneness Equality and Best for all.

After 2012 when the new demons and they are already start possessing humans NOW! Observe how people without any symptoms all of a sudden losing control and outrage and start killing -- they are already happening in South Africa, I will start looking in news in the Vancouver area and report along.

As Bernard said: (When this happens after 2012) You would want to kill yourself.

Thank you very much for reading my blog. I am working hard on improving my English through a Powerful vocabulary building software.

What is the difference between those that will listen and those that won't? To me: Those that don't not listen always have ego -- This is not going to happen to me, or

How I am experiencing on Improving my reading and DIP

So writing again. I realize that(actually I have heard this from Bernard or Desteni quite some time ago) that this me is actually just a personalitized me(a program) that based on self-interest and due to what we have experienced differently with my own encounter events that I have become like this. Even my personality is not from me, it is downloaded from my(sine I am a male) great great x 10 before grand father. What is real the truth is we are all the same from the same source -- Oneness and Equal. That's the people that we/I am looking for, that's the (10)people that I am looking for to read my blog and work in DIP and consolidate our financial status in this world so we can change through DIP. These are the people that are going to survive in the up coming events that nature will inevitably wipe out/clean up the current doing nothing but mainly sex or masturbate and just consume consume and consume everything around them, totally lost in greed.

I have been studying as much as possible in DIP - 1. I have studied DIP - 2 a bit before so it could shorten my time a little bit. The vocabulary software has help me a lot in remembering things and reading. My reading speed has increased(right now I am training myself at grade 5, 310 words per minute at the beginning I am at 190? 230? Current level on 120-170 WPM) just by using it for 2 days. It's not just reading it's also about training you to comprehend the passages in the article. I am excited in how I will improve after using it for a month.

Still need to workout in pushing myself to be one and equal with the information to shorten the 'remembering' process. I am working on it.

Have been finding ways to effectively to study the DIP materials. At this stage since I have gone through tons of Desteni materials in the past three years, some of the materials like history of mankind are just reviewing. What I have learned through DIP -2 is having a solid and strong foundation will really assist you when you are building the materials/your levels up on more advanced like DIP-3. Because each week's materials and assignments are based on your understanding of previous materials.

And practice! Just like Bernard said: Buy the product! USE/PRACTICE the product! then assist others including selling the product!

So these are my experience on DIP.

Writing is what I found helpful

Have been chatting with Andrea. She said I am still justifying and on watching animation which I only recently found out it is actually the symbols that associate inside the mind to generate energy surges that keeps us aroused/excited -- that feeling is equivalent of the desire of raping. It is a difficult point to accept it and start realizing I need to give up watching animation.

I have always been wondering animation is just a some shapes with colors why would we/me got so obsessed about it? Why would I so obsessed this 'feeling' that I cannot explained? Now I know it and I need to stop myself not participating in watching it again.

I found out writing is very assisting me in my process. Although right now i need to spend quite some time need to "push" myself to keep on writing but once I got the topic and know what I should write about -- through writing I felt relief. Just like what the Desteni videos or Pen and Computer interview has explained it is writing the thoughts that are trapped inside me out and they won't stay inside my body and feeding my mind consciousness system. So whenever I push myself to write I would feel relief inside me, like my burdens have been alleviated.

It really feels like I am pulling the emotions that I am not even aware that is subconsciously stiring inside me that makes me feeling uncomfortable and unclear and I clean and release myself through writing them out. It is almost feel the same as writing self-forgiveness.

I will free half an hour each day and work on writing more out.

Why I do self-forgiveness and what I have changed so far

What I have Realized. This I have read from Bernard's articles quite some time ago and I tend to forget/don't want to apply or recognize is energy(for instance, sex, feelings emotions, like when how you feel when you watch an animation) and when you live as energy and define your whole life as energy then you got your wish! You become/one and equal to as energy and when you die you no more exist. What happens when your watch runs out of energy? The movement does not exist/move anymore only the watch(physical) remains, isn't it? Really as simple as that and the physical molecules "stay" on earth -- they just dissolve and return back to earth and recycle/become something else, just like purification/recycling of water and manure recycle back to food.

So it is through self-forgiveness to totally forgive and release the past of what I have done(these events are still within me and reminding me as thoughts) and I can change and not be the old me with all these events at my back affecting and re-creating my future again and again. I can also feel large amount of release and can face the person again. For instance my father I used to hate him so much for totally selfish and treat us just a tool for his own benefit, if not through self-forgiveness and clear what I had 'hate' about him what I had done, I wouldn't be able to face him again, of course he has died now but we could meet again.

For instance sex(energy, pictorial excitement) was a major part that have constructed who I am today, and thoughts had become a degree are so severe that whoever I saw no matter my brother, girls, woman sexual 'fantasies'(if you'd like to call them that way) thoughts would automatically pops out and I would go: Shit! I can't go on this way, how can I stop it? I would lose control and would actually do it in real-life and I would get into big troubles and very likely end up in jail or worse, wouldn't I? I tried very hard to stop them but with no success. Thoughts just keep compounding having more vivid and more frequent sexual, not even desires anymore. I didn't start the thoughts and they just pop out.

Same with thoughts of chopping or piercing my eyes face thoughts of torturing my body(I believe these categorized as torturing). That's when I was at the early days when I first find out Desteni and realize we exist beyond death. Then it's like I subconsciously going: Ok, so my body is just a vessel and I would have thoughts of like putting my face on the hot cooker's electric coil is exciting as sexual stimulation. Or I feel excited when I watch bloody and violence movies or animations and think that must be exciting and would have thoughts of doing that to myself.

Isn't it common sense that if I continue this way ultimately soon one day, I would be in outrage and momentarily losing my control and would actually do it and harm myself or others. This is when I realize I must have do something quick and effective to stop my thoughts. Back then still haven't realize thoughts are a reflection of what I have accepted and allowed and have become. Thoughts are just a mirror reflecting who I am.

What I have changed. I stop the thoughts of hurting my body to get excitement. Thinking piercing my body would brings me great pleasure. That when I was cooking I used to have thoughts of putting my face on the hot electric cooker's coil and just like what they do in the Terminator 2 movies -- the fat guy got thrown on the cooking plate and steams(actually it's dry ice steams) coming out of the plate. Of course I need to correct and change myself by not doing it again and not participating in those thoughts after self-forgiveness. The thoughts of having sex with anyone I saw has also disappeared to a large extent. With these non-stop and ever compounding thoughts it was an harass to me and I just can't function normally -- That was not the one that I wanted to be.

What I haven't changed yet. Still clinging on animations and female nude figures. I keep reminding myself the consequence of energy and every feeling emotions I experience if I accept and allow addicted to that, it's common sense that I would become energy myself isn't it? So the desire for energy as sex and animations. Dealing situations without emotions especially not in angriness. For instance when some of my mom's christian friends knows it's me answering the phone and they just silent and don't speak a word I would feel angry and begin suppressing the angriness instead of directing the situation and stay in breathe. So right now my major problems are fears, sexual desires, animations, energies.

DIP Course Begins

So with the Farm guys' support/sponsorship I am back on DIP(SRA) for one year. Preparing myself for a foundation for me to earn my living through DIP and also supporting Desteni. I spent about 2 hours to read the first chapter, planned to do the assignment in a few days, after I got improved in reciting my sales scripts.

When I look at the course materials again, I watched most of the videos before. Isn't it funny that when I watch them like two years ago, I totally don't have a clue of what they are referring to or what they are talking about but now, after the continuous reading and studying -- I begin to understand and know what the words means. Most people might just like me that they don't realize simple words(you know what each word means but when they combine together you don't know what it is talking about) . Like a veil has been removed and I now understand get what it means.

I can also use some of what Bernard said in the material see how I can apply in the sales business.

Scheduled to chat with my buddy Andrea -- she was my buddy when I was in SRA last year. So would work with her again. We would discuss some questions like: How I am going to market the Taiwan, Hong Kong Chinese markets.

I slept 6-8 hours these days, I tried to rest after dinners because I am working/practicing all day but when I lie on the bed I fall asleep very soon and when I wake up my mom has turned the light off already. I want to rest/recharge but also want to get improved and squeeze more time to work so that is a dilemma.

Ok, till next time

Watching Power Rangers like TV episodes

When I was a little child I felt very excited in the Saturday morning I watched the power ranger like TV episodes. I felt excited like my blood is rushing up feeling hyper in watching the good looking main characters wearing attractive cool costumes and good looking girls, when at the climax of the characters change into 'little supermans' with super power and it is in the name of protecting earth defending peace to hit and fervently exert on hitting the ugly monster. I felt excited just by watching that. Subconsciously I wanted to be just like those characters I wanted to participate as them I worship them. I enjoy running and playing in the park but my father don't have time too tired and I cannot play have excitement and have fun. I though it was just excitement and Life should be looking for excitement because it felt good.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abandon self-love and haven't seen everything including my body is one and equal to as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanted to experience energy and thinking using a Japanese sword just like in the animations can give me the same high and excitement when I slit my belly open and it is just exciting as what I felt when I was watching the animations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanted to cut the tip of my tongue to get energy and excitements so that I am not bored and excited.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think the tongue is sensitive and it would give me extreme ecstastic sex like experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself project my love outside of myself and do not want to face self or self-love and obsessed developed having violence as my excitement.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize violence even to my body is not excitement but a way to fuel my ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to treat my body just as flesh to generate energy for me for sex masturbation and pleasures and have totally disregard it as aware and love it as self as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look obsessed my passion in energy harvesting from sex masturbation and violence not realizing someone on earth had to pay for the high energy and I didn't see someone in the opposite side has to pay for my energy highness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think bullying ugly or evils or someone gives me a negative uncomfortable feelings are a sport that I feel excited and high that I can anytime in my thoughts participating in kicking them.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize everyone here are me and just expression within oneness and equality and have fun together.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to have special powers and can become a superhero having/catching all attractions and wanted to be worshiped.

Within seeing I wanted to be an heroic icon I stop and breathe and remind myself everyone is me and I am just expressing here.

Within seeing I want to exert on bullying others to exert my frustration/angriness inside me, I stop and breathe and remind myself I am bullying kicking my future me that I am just creating exactly how I would be treated.

I just receive an email from Andrea that I got sponsorship from Desteni Farm to study DIP for 1 year. It is both very exciting and a bit concerned when I saw that surprising email. I was in SRA before of course I didn't do well back then and I didn't see how I could make my living or earn money through SRA. We were told this would happen but Bernard haven't given us the details. It is always like that -- you know the details when you need to know. I was resisting and thought it was not useful and I was facing my mom even would cut my internet that I decided I need to find ways to earn money. I went for the real estate and now I change it to sell Enhancing children's Reading ability software.

So I expect it would be tough for the following year, when I am close to totally devoting my time to train myself prepare for door knocking and sales presentations. At the same time, need to handle bloging or even vloging(I found most people might not have time to watch vlogs -- it is slow and takes more time than just reading blogs)

Now, I need to add DIP-1 course into the my juggling. Due to how it did in my last SRA experience, I am a bit concern how I can handle everything well. Right now I haven't even start door knocking yet and I would need rest periods after door knockings each day. Things are piling up. We will see how it goes this time. I still prefer have the points written down when I do vlogs I speak smoother. Also how do I draw people that are really interested in Desteni in supporting bringing forth heaven on earth, really understanding why they should support Desteni and DIP -- these are the people that I need to get their attention.

One good news is when everything goes as planned my mom should pay for my laptop for Sales presentation. This has been troubling me that I currently don't have any money or can't find any jobs to pay for the laptop, which I must have one to do the presentation. First I accidentally told my mom that the real estate license fee has increased 50%, it actually is they are charging some technical support fees per year not per month, I only found out later. So my mom thinks it has increased the fee from 90 to 140 per months that's quite a lot, then to save her money she's forced to agree with me to cut the real estate license fees(since it would save her 150 per month) and "forced" to bet on my software selling and hope I might be able to make a living in this path. She is still not optimistic at my software selling business at all but this is a "less expensive" path for her to take.

The warm voice helps too.

Ok, so some updates on my progress. I found I wrote too much realizations on how this world currently is and how to fix it, actually to my realization so far, it's actually quite simple: Everyone give up their superiority or want to be kings or queens or want to have super richness's priviledge and start consider everyone equally -- No matter you look sexually attracted or so called "ugly"(causing negative emotions inside you) male or female, "doctor, lawyer or businessmen" or "garbage dump/sewage workers, janitors, factory slaves" everyone is the same under the Equal Money System. Start Consider/Take Care/Work/Play/Enjoy everyone on earth together and most importantly Equally!

Recap of these two weeks

1:53am. So writing again. Have been busying doing Software sales training these days. Have been communicating with Cameron. He has been quite assisting since I currently lack the knowledge in sales and he has been doing well in the sales now.

Have also been working in tuning my voice this is a very time consuming task that I need to constant monitor and find tune it. Difficult at first and still exploring.

Mom has been disgusting about Desteni and software sales. Not pledging much support at this moment, giving me a hard time in thinking of ways to come up with money.

Also have been engaged into translating the scripts into Chinese that is essential as most people living here speaks mandarin need Tanya do a mandarin recording. Currently the software still doesn't accept Chinese characters so I can't use it to help me recite the Chinese scripts. Would take some time in reciting it.

So far the English version script has been 'implanted' quite well, I am getting it better each day. Still practicing on using the program. Practicing on saying the words when I type it, I cannot say it aloud since I am with mom but it seems just by saying the words already achieve a bettering knowing stage than just type it.

So what I have been doing is plainly training myself to be a salesperson and lots of software information knowing training. English version has been satisfying and a little bit worry about the Chinese version but it is way easier than real estate where you don't need to cater learning so much details and information and have been prepared for so long and I still haven't earn a dime yet. There are way so much information that you need to prepare ahead in real estate. Here just concentrate on reciting the scripts.

Have been tired and sleeping close to eight hours each day. I need sometime to rest and revise my direction in how to do the sales job effectively. I confess that the most effective way is actually do it and revise. Usually what I have in mind is Not what it is like in reality.

Still have some thoughts of pictures of cutting myself and think it will generate energy for me. Since have stopped masturbation for a few weeks now, I/the mind is lack of energy and want to recharge through pain thinking pain is extreme exciting just by thinking about it