Monday, March 23, 2009

My brother and his wife

my brother called today and talked to mom about lending money from her to buy a house for his family. he has a 1 and 1/2 yrs old daughter already, and he said he was planning to have another (wanted to have a baby boy, wanted to further secure herself if the marrige/relationship goes wrong, maybe). we told him, it is not easy as raising a child costs lots of money, time and effort, he just (coldly) reply that's the Way of life. my brother has developed attitudes of like ejoyments, drinking(before), smoking(i used myself as an example to quit to show him and he quit), driving sports car. his personality to me (except when he was maybe bf. 7 yrs old, when he was real small he was pure) is stereo type of Aggresive, self-interested, self-enjoyment and what's in the Family he got his name of share. to an extent that eg. would be even he used the hosue as a business(he's a barbarer) place to earn money, all the expanses(electricty, water u know the business nature consumes a lot) was paid as family expanses which is by mom and he has never paid a peeny to my mom. it was his Rightous Claim of Profit because he share the same family name - and he is Rightously entitled to those cliams, unlucky dude(mom and dad). that's how i see him from my observation and living with him for all years.

and now, the situation get worse when he married and now the factors including all bunch of people from my sister in law's family(yeah, he's currently living in their house, that's one of the reason for buying a new house, to withdraw their portion of money out). i wasn't aware that how we treated others in our(my) past lives sums up into the Current Life that we are living at - which i presume what he's doing now Was what i did/mom did(we are experiencing what we accepted and allowed in the past/still currently) |o|. i knew nothing and hated him for being so selfish and just exploiting anyone around him as much as he can. we had quarrels and me and mom (this was a long story, including his pleasing of his customers and driving mom mad) told him to shut his business, his answer is you allowed my back then, you can't just shut me down and i need to go on(because of profit |o|).

so, he is asking mom to act as an guaranteer for his loan. i told mom, why house? if you don't have enough money then buy an apartment/town house. but no, he doen't even answer your questions. to what i observe is he and his wife's probing mom advancing step by step. it's not much that i can do/give advice on. one thing mom worry is his wife could sell the house after it is bought and withdraw the money for other uses, similar to what her family is planning to do now. currently, in this shaking world(for this is only the beginning, when Darryl mentioned something financially is gonna happen in Sep. last year, i didn't anticipate it would be engulfing all over the world - the rayman brothers incident. how can we sustain when further waves are on their way), i can only pursuit/aim at maintaining my basic living and give my tiny support to Desteni. it could take 28yrs to stablize the new money system. until then, i see what i can do for EQUALLY. i do not have money to support guys in SA, i can currently only giving my effort in translating, bit by bit. i heard some of them take loans there. but, to support OneNess and Equally - it is the act that counts not the thinking of doing it, and Desteni is the candle light that we/everyone involved should protect and make it prosper.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be self-interest, only care for my own enjoyments, brutually ignore others' that i am consuming/taking from so i am living in it now.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as cunning in exploiting others around me in supporting/supplying my self-interest enjoyments.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to plotting for take others posessions into as my own.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exploit others around me as much as i can to support my self-interest.

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