When I first heard of self-forgiveness, I didn't pay attention to it. I was just concentrate on Desteni's videos and articles. They were most intriguing to the me and I diverted my attention on UFOs, what it was like in the Dimensions and after Life. I was resisting to do self-forgiveness, I thought it was useless. I didn't want to confess that other people in my world all their evilness, all their greediness, their cruelty is actually reflecting to me: hey! This is me! This was what I have accepted and allowed in my past and these evilness have become my nature and I didn't want to see. Just wanted to stay this way. Thinking it was ok. I could change myself from now on. At those period, I didn't even know "time is not real", that we were just living in cycles of our past.
The decision to do self-forgiveness comes when after I have walked for like 7 months to a year. I was so desperate want to change my living wanted to change my live. I want to live in a community that people care about each other just like me. However, no matter how much knowledge I have learned from Desteni, no matter how much work I contribute to translate videos and articles into Chinese -- my world literally stays the same. Nothing, not even a bit have changed at all! I was still extremely easy to get angry. I was still living with my mom controlling my money and live. I tried to find work in Vancouver but couldn't stand as a slave worker in a tofu factory. I found no Destonian here in my town. Everywhere was closing doors on me. Bernard and Mykey have reminded me a few times that I haven't applied the tools. I didn't "know" what it means. So things just don't change at all, I wasted more than a year and nothing! Totally nothing has changed! Although I apparently "learned" a lot from Desteni but I was like locked up in a prison. I tried everything I can but nothing is changing. Until one day, I realize: just maybe, I should start "trying" self-forgiveness and see if that "really" can change my nature and hence/hopefully my world would change. Because I have already tried everything I could!! And they didn't work!!!! Now, I am sure you would agree with me, it is common sense that if things didn't work, it means it's time for me to look into/consider what I "haven't tried yet", would you?
So because I wanted to live in an Equality World, I was "half forcing myself" to apply self-forgiveness. At the beginning it was very difficult. However, the key is persistence. I persisted. The more I tried and ask for advice, the more I see myself improve on applying self-forgiveness. After applying self-forgiveness for awhile, I told myself: I have to totally forgive and forget myself, to release myself from my past. Release myself from what I have done/accepted and allowed and till here no further. From now on, everything is me and there is no more relationship. Nothing is separated, everything is just another me.
I experience self-forgiveness as a total release and comfortable feeling. I can feel my body is comfortable after doing self-forgiveness. A smooth, clear and like after taking a bath or sauna, or having a massage inside. A totally clear and relax feeling that I feel like I am ready for a fresh start. A new me! A clean me! Of course, I need to do self-forgiveness continuously. It is a never ending commitment to myself.
Gradually bit by bit I felt that my nature has changed. I used to have thoughts of stabbing, killing, having sex with whoever female I saw. All these thoughts just automatically pop out and I used whatever means possible to stop my thoughts but I couldn't stop them at all! And they became more and more fierce and frequent. After a couple of months of speaking out self-forgiveness loud and writing them on my computer. Within 6 months to a year, step by step the thoughts have subsided. My world change. I met Avery another Destonian. I met some GIN(global information network members). I work with Avery to gathering people that are interested in Desteni, at really in changing the world, walking Oneness and Equality and bringing Heaven on Earth for the Children to come. I have participated in selling Desteni Software here in Vancouver and Avery has a technical support position for me that I might be able to generate some income in the future. I am still sourcing my angriness but it was way better now. Before when I get mad, I totally felt like the angriness are like electricity passing through my body that I have no way to exert these emotions out but to exert on anyone around me.
I know all these events seemed just coincidences. They just happen but I would like to share with you, for your own good and for your better future -- they are not coincidences. Fortunately, you can proof it through "yourself", you applying self-forgiveness and you would see the difference/miracle happening on you too. Unfortunately, applying self-forgiveness and see the change/difference on yourself, on your circle, on your little world mirroring what you have inside you, this little community surrounding you - that, unfortunately is the ONLY WAY to change your world, to prove to you self-forgiveness is a precious treasure that really works! I resisted. I diverted my attention on UFO and after life videos. I didn't pay attention to self-forgiveness. I didn't want to do it/confess. Until I realize: am I going to continue live like this? Or am I going to try self-forgiveness and maybe that is the key after all. I wasted a year and I am glad that I stop and apply self-forgiveness before things/my mind getting worse. Would you choose postpone, wait, divert on something else and then one, two or even five years later, you look back at yourself and prove to you your world has not changed a single bit and look back, ask yourself: why didn't I try self-forgiveness five years ago!!?? Or would you say: till here no further! I will give self-forgiveness a go. I want to change myself, my nature hence changing my outer world! I don't want to live in this community/world any more!
Through self-forgiveness, I have transcended my cruelty, my sexual desires, my fears! (lots of fears), my thoughts! My angriness(still working on it and Bernard said it would take me several years to totally clear them). My jealousy and spitefulness(very serious problems ingrained in me, that the only way to change me is thought I forgiving myself - self-forgiveness). Tons of hate and blame to people around me for mistreating me. I mean, these burdens or positive or negative energies won't be release until I self-forgive them correctly. So that I can flag my points and when I actually walk them again in my daily living, I remind myself to not walk the same old path and change myself through corrective application.
Applying self-forgiveness is like saying: I confess and I am now saying sorry to myself. I need a reboot, install a new Operating System to my computer. A fresh start from now on! And this OS is called Heaven on Earth - Oneness and Equality 1.0 Written by MS-Life corporation. Instead of having all these burdens haunting me at my back all the time. I found the tool to release me, to FREE ME! And we need to forgive ourselves and each other and start SUPPORTING EACH OTHER FROM NOW ON! I'm sure you would agree we have lived in separation causing all sorts of greediness, hurting, killing, fearing, enslaving each other way too long now. And we are all way too tried of this way of living/system, aren't we? We want a change in ourselves and the community/world that we live in, don't we?
I can't emphasize enough on how self-forgiveness changed my nature, my habits, my reactions and my world! I would recommended self-forgiveness to everyone because that is the only way that I could change myself and then my world! I have been living for 40 years on earth now but no matter where I were on earth. Nothing change! All change was just the pictures outside me in the community that I live in. When I was a child a child I was always wonder why there is no "honest" and nice people around me?? Why everyone was just obsessing in power, money, controls/manipulations and gossips. That's all! Where are the nice people? Why I couldn't meet any one that is nice and understand me? No matter where I go, from Hong Kong to US, then back to Hong Kong, then to Canada, then back to Hong Kong and then back to Vancouver. For all these 30 years, whenever I change my place. At first the pictures, the people around me change but most obviously everyone was just plain greedy and self-interest around me. And I didn't see it WAS ME that was greedy and causing all these people to manifest around me. And even after I studied and learned a lot from Desteni, nothing has changed. Not after I keep on applying self-forgiveness and doing what is best for all. I would strongly recommend self-forgiveness to anyone that would seriously like to change themselves, release their past burdens and free themselves into a better being, and also change the community/their little world that they are living in day in and day out.
I change myself through first forgive myself for what I have accepted and allowed and then not doing/react to the same situations again. Bit by bit it's like make steel out of iron, gradually I can feel my nature has changed. How I would react has changed. My world is changing.
Such change both on myself and my outer world can only be changed through self-forgiveness because that's how the things work!! It is just I was not aware of it and I kept trying to change my outer world and it never change! As I said, on my own experience nothing around me has ever changed but only the pictures change. For example, my half-brother was self-interested and plotting against us then a few years later he died I thought finally things are going to be smooth and I can relax, but it was not true! Not before long it became my father that I saw his greediness and also plotting inside our family. Then a decade later he died and I though shouldn't it time finally we can have some peace. Now, it's my brother that's always self-interest aiming at his own advantages, looking at ways to grab the money out from my mom. I mean, as you can see, for these 30 years of family battling, conflicts, greediness, plotting, hatred. They appear/manifest because they exist inside me, and I didn't know I was always so powerful that I could self-forgive myself and change my nature so my world will change. And as I mentioned above, myself, my nature and my little outer world haven't changed.
Nothing change until I made a decision! I am going to try self-forgiveness. I am going to do it. I am going to push myself. I am going to learn how to do self-forgiveness effectively. I am going to clean myself inside and it feel so comfortable after I written my self-forgiveness statements on my PC and then speak it out loud. Sometimes, when I am alone I just speak them aloud. First forgive and release myself, then walk the corrective application and flagging points to not participate in my old habits/patterns again.
That's how I walk my change bit by bit. That's why I recommend to anyone, that truly wants to change themselves to be a better person and hence change their little community/outer world, apply self-forgiveness.
Enjoy and Thank you.
























