Saturday, July 4, 2009

Walk my Breathe and Here == you're not Ever going Anywhere

Sunette has mentioned to me about "walking Here". have tried that for a day or..but then, got distracted to others ways of working things out. Here now, i am back on it this morning. what i found so far, through months of breathing practice, is i am getting more able to distinguish when i am in the mind consciousness mode and when i am Here. i am working on Discovering/Realizing the "wonders" of being Here, you know, me through as the programmatic mind perceive Here is a "boring" place to be.

Have read chief's elaboration on one of the members' Dream posts, he mentioned - presence of Self. Some of his words: "Process is Here, a walking as the Moment – Here, every Moment that is a Self-Realisation Here = thus, you’re not every going-anywhere = but simply to Realise = that you’re HERE."; "Presence (which would ‘resonate’ as the ‘experience’ of ‘calmness’)"..i found them very Insightful/makes me Realize, for instance - presence, i was looking up in the Dictionary for moments that i can find the Precise/Satisfied meaning for what "presence" means in chinese, i mean, i "know" what it is but i can't put it into words. same as Here, i didn't notice..although i did that most of the time, that i was "separating myself/project myself to 'go' somewhere/do something"..and as Chief's said: "'re Not Ever Going anywhere"..i didn't get what he means at first..after reading it couple of times..|o| Sunette's said to me: (plainly) reading the words are just Information and Knowledge..i presume current generally(including my past me)..people might not agree and keen on/worship on what they watch hence processed through their eyes and senses but/least with common senses. and problems to me is: when i'm "tired" after hours of work or when through and as my mind "started" to project myself into "thoughts".."projecting" what to "entertain" myself. |o|..chief's words Really rings my bell, realize that.."thus, you’re not every going-anywhere"..not physically but inside me - not projecting/"going" Anywhere but Here.

I tried to Realize/reasonlize what is Here?..or practically how to Achieve Here. Chief's words really open me - up..i haven't experienced/explore of "not ever going anywhere" inside me. will it be a "wonderland"? of course, that would be "curiosity"..caused by further realization obtained though. i mean, these "pointless" race of loops of thoughts..really like a DVD player that makes me 'looks' interesting..but it really "tired" me afterward. and when i staying in my four count breathe, even when i am continuously working on transcribing videos for hours..i wasn't as "tired" as before..i mean, like i used to just hanging around in the house..but i need to sleep for over nine hours still feeling not, now..eights hours? sometimes seven..i felt fully charged and ready for next day's works..less "sore/sourness" in the muscles too.

I mean, the more i studied/get involved into Desteni stuffs..the more i realize we are currently very limited to what we've realized on how things actually works. our body(medical/biology), physics..etc. and the more i realized that i was through and as the mind consciousness systematic pursuit of "desires" in the reality world - the more i realize we can't go on this current way - where Co-existence as All Existence as Self is "left out" of the equation of our Current daily lifes.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wander/project myself into the past and the future through and as my mind, instead of realizing - "i am not ever going anywhere" as Here inside within me.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to perceive Here - as not ever going anywhere inside me is boring to live like that.

i forgive myself for not allowed myself to release myself and let my self out as the presence of self in every moment.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to worship my five senses, mostly what i see/watched through my eyes, technology as collective knowledge and information, and the game of research and worshiped my ego for the illusion of "superiority" over Existence, like animals for food, trees and nature..regardless of their suffering - simply because i can, i at this moment can do it onto them and they "can't do a thing to me" - currently.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not aware and realize that how i/we treat the Existence, as our environment as reality manifestations is actually how we treat Self as ourselves and "creating how i/we will be treated that way in the up coming days"

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to worship and enjoy thoughts as DVD playback of pictorial projections inside me through as the mind, instead of worshiping "i am not ever going anywhere inside of me"

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to left Co-existence of All existence and me as part of expressions in existence in expressing me as self - equally, because Oneness and Equality is my/our true nature.

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