Live in my Breathe

I found out last night that i was Breathing, but i wasn't living in my Breathe. i was living in my mind. that's what i realized when was watching the porn-animations. i was breathing all along for over 30years, but what i found was the more i grow up, the more i do not pay attention, take it for granted and not staying/living inside my breathe. i have tried live in the motion of Breathe in and out, as Bernard's said, it was interesting experience, but not long lasting/stable on me. this morning, i somehow breathe frequently forgot the two holding moments and the feeling of the 'old' consciousness came back. it wasn't a nice feeling, like i was riding on a horse again, just dashing forward/in a loop, not stable and not Here. like, that wasn't me and the real self me was trapped inside the mind/consciousness and the 'feeling' of becoming through and as the consciousness/mind is not a nice feeling, it was like aggressive, ego, fast - always pushing myself, 'want more'.

Was doing some Transcription works, re-watch/see the"the unification of man - as I am", which could be i am more Here then i first joint Desteni, i realize more from what it is saying. i mean, boy, when i first watch it and some videos that involve Deeper Self/Here realizations like the "Life as who i am" video, i was "what was this about?" yet, inside me, i "knew" he's talking about something interesting/meaningful yet, i haven't realized what it means yet. this time, after through all past months' translation/transcription works, i came back this time, with more realizations. also makes me try on - what if: i am/i(current me as self) is "I/I am(words/sound expression of "I" - whenever there's something refer or applicable as "I" - i am that and there)". it could sound confusing, but that's how i would put it/express as for how i realize so far. similar to Here, i would say with the Bubble theory article in explaining what is/why "Oneness" happen, together with the "First Molecule interview" things and why Oneness became clearer to me on why and what, in fact, is going on. Of course, i later realize Here is more "Appropriate".

Have setup the Desteni traditional Chinese channel, as/out of expected over 800+ people have watched the HOM 77 - Sex and Masturbation and others sex related have over 100, more/less. however, i thought it will bring them into the interest of other videos in the channel too, it wasn't going very well so far, yet, about 20 +/-. what is this showing me? what is this showing me what i have inside? what are these mirroring inside me? even the bruce lee videos, barely over 20 so far - while the HOM 77 double the views, each/in few days since channel opened.

Still have some energetic floats around the testicles area. when i was watching/seeing the porn-animations. well, something i found out was - what it described - the expressions/feelings portraits in those female characters are not true. it's just what a male construct would like that to happen that way, and i didn't see that. it doesn't work plainly on pictorial expressions, also with sound and tone and certain specific frequencies |o|, motions portrait - at least that's the way on me. and then, there is some 'feeling' like the one that Alli has described - when you 'see' someone in front of you/maybe while you talk with him/her, i have certain specific feelings that 'originate' inside me about that being in front of me. like that when i was watching the porn-animations, like it's not the external senses that 'arouse?' me but the 'resonance' originate from me in regarding to the Being/Animation character that's portraiting.