Saturday, August 8, 2009

Give up the mind consciousness system

I just re-see the mother nature's video. inside, she mentioned something like give up the mind consciousness system as our outer world is how it is constructed today. i have never considered, i mean, i see the videos but i didn't get what i means by 'give up the mind' not until when transcribing today. to me, it's quite a difference between, reading at information and knowledge level and 'participate' when i as self is involved. when i actually do it, participate in it. it's more 'real' of course, i still need to walk them live them to make them real.

but, yea..i didn't consider i can give up the mind consciousness system. i mean even the 'thought' of it already sounds make sense. i was using, applying the tools but at the same 'time' stick inside the mind consciousness system and without giving it up. the start point could be from a mind consciousness system. the beingness/feeling of give up the mind consciousness system is like simplicity. and i just found out, i could also need to give up my personality as well. breathe seems to do better this way, again without the personality..what will i be?

Solmaz was to me, kind of irritated when she's chatting with me. to me, i see there are angers, frustration and covering up exists inside her, it was about the events that are coming, i stated about the 2012 that was mentioned by Bernard, she see it as my 'belief', i pointed out it is a marks that bernard and those use it as a 'placement' because the public generally already anticipate inside their mind consciousness systems that 'something's gonna happen but they don't know what it is' she's insisting on 'arguing' and fight back. taking things to a personal level. i didn't expect privateforum members are with such systems inside. i pointed to her and suggest her to watch the angry system videos, some suggestions. but she's interested in getting me into the arguments with her. i finally, told her that the last piece of suggestion that i would give her in the chat. and left the 'fighting pit'. there is no point of arguing at all, arguing is only for defending one's right and through rejecting other's wrong to confirm one's rightness of opinions. i mean, i work/explain to some points, after that..that became plain arguing. and i am not participating in arguing in supporting systems.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be irritate and angry inside and keep suppressing them inside dodging avoiding the problems instead of self-forgive them and live on.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame it is the other self that's causing the discomfort angryness inside me and not realize that it is the events that taking place to 'manifest' the anger inside me.

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to consider other people as self's views and suggestions, and i just feel angry and it is the other person's fault and use this 'chance' to instigate a fight to manifest the anger within me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to keep arguing and stick with my ego instead of using common sense first to see if what has said worth accepting it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give myself to the systems and yield to start an argument.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be cold eyed and enjoy seeing/watching two or more people to fight with each other and chuck away.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be relying on logics and suppressing myself inside me instead of using common sense.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to live inside a shell that i always 'wanted' to protect myself from other's as me might harm/attack me.

I forgive myself that i haven't accept and allow myself to be vlunerable and enclose myself inside a nutshell, afraid of getting contact with other people as me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to pin myself down suppressing myself inside the mind consciousness system and 'feeling' i am not worthy to live in this world, i am less than an ant.

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