Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Wu Wei's brough me a gift - a long lost article

It was an 'unexpected' event, totally in the moment, was is here i can't really tell at this moment. but i realize something is i was parrot talking through my mind consciousness system, all in the past all this year. it's rather 'interesting' (i wouldn't use the word complicated).

Wu Wei has asked me questions about the veno's molecules articles. which i had read quite a 'long time ago', maybe at my early period of when i first joint Desteni. totally got 'screwed up'/got fucked by the article so to speak. had read it many times, didn't get a 'fuck' of what it's talking about, what blue dots, and the words that veno's using..was like presented in the article was like 'cindarella/alice in wonder land' - reloaded, and revolution. i mean, using a mind consciousness system at this moment i am quite didn't get what he's saying at all. here now, i realize, much realized in regrading to the before me when i first joint Desteni. at first when i read the article i was, totally in fuck of frustration land and don't got what he's saying. i got frustrated, angry and totally no clues - at that moment, it's like a mixture of angry and frustration and troublesome and curiosity of what it is about..

After couple of months of translating and transcribing works. i realized, quite a lot. and especially when i pracctice beingness of the moment, it's totally a 'wonderful, strange in certain extent, natural and fullfillment type of beingness'. and it is through that, that i can see myself: 'oh, i am a parrot, still a mind consciousness systematic parrot at this moment' i didn't see this, i thought i have 'realized' but not enough if i had. i would say, some observations are correct, but some are/maybe not totally correct in it's whole. it's quite strange and a bit of confused at this moment, because this unexpected gift of re-read this paragraph is..so immense, which also make the already 'intangled' situation more tricky.

Let me describe what is moment living. i, am the living moment as through as the breathe. within the moment, there is no time. everything's silent, totally still, it all happen inside the breathe. let me recall and stablized before i go on. ok, here now is moment living, it's quiet stable, clear concise simplistic, no energy fluctuations or whatever, the words that i use are different. tone is different, words expressions are different. it's fullfilled, and there is not 'time' construct within the moment. no, nothing..plain silent, and yes, not a being of silent, but a beingness of silent. this calm, 'peace-ness', slow inside yet i am typing fast outside, absolute stable within the moment, within my breathe, that's similar to a child when i was small - absolutely stable and 'Here' if i may term it that way. it's like 'constantly expanind' inside me..not a 'feeling that based on energy'. energy does not exist within moment. this beingness right at this moments, that i am experiencing, makes me really makes me feel 'kind of silly' if i may use silly instead of 'stupid' which is another more heavy energetic words, for delving all my life back then into the totally 'low level of experienced' through as the mind consciousness system's pictorial based masturbation, a very limited 'feeling' and illusion of 'highness' while it's this 'peaceness' that life on 3D earth's worth experiencing and being. masturbation seems so 'trival' in front of beingness of moments inside breathe. within through as moments(yes, that's the words i was looking for) that's an enjoyment, that's an efficient way of performing, quick on the outwards yet 'absolute presence of moments if not here', it's like a fountain, yet moving but time stand still within in. the outer world's time doesn't stopped, at this moment i am typing it's within a space and time continnum yes, but inside me through as the moment, it's absolute clear silent, well except my voice sounding insdie my head while i am typing here now. besides this, it's all silent, crystal clear, beingness through as the moments. this 'almalgomation with the moment' is not through energy, so if any fructuation occurred, or forcing is involved, it's mind consciousness system. it's this 'voidness' that i first experience..that i have never experience before. when 'aligned' with moments inside my breathe, i am not 'governed' by time anymore, i just float within my breathe, slowly, to where? i can't locate it yet.

Here now is an working on moment here. so i was always afraid of here, try to get away from here - only here now i sort of use the same method to apply on moment here. that i found it's silly also, here is not boring, here is not 'silly', here is like a strength. that's i can see that all my definitions about moments and here was not correct, beingness of here is like a horse. same here, no energy invovled, yet it's beingness through as here is like within energy 'losing control'. but it's precise, and ..it's fluctuated yet not energetically also. and also, it's not defined by or 'access' by energy. Here is like a wild horse? here now i see that all sorts of worry about here and moments are 'illusional' unreal. not true at all. it fluctuate yet, i was not losing control in regrading to when i was in 'energetic madness' ..even the words give me a 'dullness' and low plane's feeling. being hereness is kinda of really like bernard's expression - a mad scientist. yet, this 'mad' is not defined by energy, it's ..like a horse inside the breathe that always pushing me..again not energetically. and common sense seems a bit increased at this 'moment' when i am writing. it's here now, like a moon, hmm, strange, interesting. a quiet version of here. don't really know what is it..it quites down. it's like a horse stalking. one thing i found quite it's like sort of find a beingness/point/alignment inside the breathe of where 'time' will hold still within me, within that i am not govern by time. it's not use energy or time to create a vacuum for no time. no, it's a natural beingness of time stopped. self-honesty to my breathe.

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