終於錄完兩個片段

讓我試試寫中文會否多些人看. 因為自己打中文字真的頗慢, 有時候又會忘記 或不知道一些深的字怎樣打, 因為我用倉頡所以是較深的, 不過好處是相同字真的很少. 學的時候真的極辛苦 但你也知道 當你一年多時間 每天都 6-8 小時在做中文翻譯 真是鍛鍊你變成一個 ok 的中文打字員.

最近病了 不停咳嗽 所以錄片段的進度也推遲了. 現在當我想到有什麼要說的時候 我就會寫下在電腦, 然後有時間就填一下要說些什麼, 錄的時候整理一下 重看一編, 然後有了些頭緒就開展一直說下去, 有時候這是真的, 如果你對要說的題目有深入的察覺了解的話, 很自然就會說出很豐富的內容, 不然說不了多久就會變成空明一片, 不知道跟著要說什麼.

國話發音不準也是一個問題, 雖然有一個小妹妹在幫助我, 不竟, 談了一天 兩天後發音是會準確得多, 但過不了多久又回到廣東話式的口音, 已經在盡力看是不是舌頭運作的問題. 到現時為止只知道大部份的音都要轉到用喉嚨發音, 要多研究研究.

所以說, 如果你這刻在看著, 我跟你們說 我做這條視頻 youtube: FredEquality 比你們要付出的是多幾倍的, 要克服很多困難, 英文版本呢 - 發音較準備 但會說會用的字滙很有限, 有時候要用舉例來說明, 中文版本 - 字滙多 但不知道怎樣發音, 甚至究竟(現在大部份是台灣人) 他們聽明不明白也成問題. 你們可以比我更輕鬆 更容易的做解釋什麼是 公平金錢系統 (equal money) 為什麼要一體等如 現今的殘酷濫虐世界對總體所有每一個人怎樣互相殘害著對方(只有極少撮人如精英派在背後 利用卬要多少有多少的鈔票 奴隸著大眾獲益), 連我也越著種種重重的困難在錄片段, 那你又在做著什麼 獻力投入參與推動過公平金錢系統嗎?

如果你不支持 = 投入參與推動公平金錢系統, 一體等如 那你每一天吃這麼多肉, 菜 食物, 大自然替你 供應你呼吸活命, 你還有生存價值嗎? 你如果不是投入參與要終結這世界因為每個人的 "貪婪" 貪錢 要做皇帝 要奴隸其他人為自己服務, 要終結這世界上種種互相對其他人類, 對動物, 屠房工廠, 強姦大自然(如採挖珠寶) 小孩童工奴隸 被謀殺 被強姦, 想一想如果你不是為了這些 主力投入參與推動公平金錢 令所有這些源於貪婪的行為終止 不再在這世界上出現 令你死後不管要再回來做一隻雞鴨支援其他人類或動物食用 或是一棵樹 或是石頭 或是人類都不會再活在這種瘋癲人類以為自己就是萬物主牢的自我中心謬悟. 那如果你不投入參與 讓這世界一直這樣下去, 那你不是跟其他人虐待著其他人, 虐待動物 和大自然的人 一模一樣, 這已經等如在宣告: 我讚同你說的 但我什麼也不想做, 所以病毒 愛滋病 天災可以來 删除/殺死我, 把我從這個世界像垃圾一樣除去 - 為了總體所有人的利益/幸福.

人類是在總體存在所有一切裏扮演一個 "栛調" 我是 "總體裏的一份子 一個成員", 而 "栛調配合" 這些 看法在普遍大部份人眼中是只有 貪婪 = 我要更多錢, 這也是為什麼我要成立一條視頻 為宣傳公平金錢 讓那些肯聽的人 在大限前了解為什麼要 和什麼是公平金錢系統.

好的, 這已寫了大半小時, 如果你有什麼想留言 發表的, 請留下給我. 如果多人反應看中文的話, 可能將來會會寫更多中文的.

Forcing myself to write blog again

I just watched Bernard's video saying it is compulsory for SRA participants to write blogs so their buddies can see how they have improved through the blogs, else they would be kicked out of it. I currently is not participating in SRA because I got many things need to take care of and got no money at this moment.

Of course, even for myself it's much faster to read than to watch vlogs(it's almost double speed faster than watching) but I found vlogs should be, more effective in drawing people's attention and most importantly at this moment I haven't tried chinese typing in logs but I don't know the characters much, I can't imagine if I have to write bilingual blogs just for others to see me how I am doing, it would take me a lot of time, because, even for simply writing something that I know and have lots to talk about(which sometimes I got blank and don't know what I should share on) it already takes me at least 30mins to write them out, which I can make 2 vlogs if I've drafted my key points out before recording.

2ndly the most concern of a blog is I don't know how many people have read it and I don't know how effective I am in writing these blogs and how many people have read them, I mean for youtube, I am pretty sure that as long as I continue making vlogs, sooner or later I would get a bigger exposure to people and sometimes, comparatively to my blog, people would leave comments to me and I know how they see it(but of course it's also about the persona that I wanted to be have a nice perfect image in front of others, another thing is I don't want to have a bad reputation or wasting their time for me just saying some bullshits wasting their time).

Right now I need to prepare myself to become a realtor it's already- you can say it's not much I can do because there is nobody to guide or teach you how to become a realtor because there is no commission or money pay back to them, and it looks so vast to me in learning the clauses that how to write them in the contract of P. and S. also get familiar at least to the housing characteristics of my area, I am not even at how to acquire clients yet! then, there are web shopping, this, you definitely sometimes or most of the time when things are onsaled, you can have a very good deal but there are tons of reports, reviews user reviews, technical specs. pricing taxation, frequent monitor of price drop things, searching for the right company(sometimes I would directly deal with manufacturers), asking questions getting replies, it can takes you tons of hours each day plainly just to get a basic understanding of the product, and not to mention various models. so see, these things already possess me lots of hours each day.

Vlogging is also something I am beginning to do, preparing myself for SRA income plan. That it would take several years and I need to back myself up with experience on how to make vlogs, what topics to talk to, because, for what I see myself as I am basically talking the same stuffs, mainly on how the current greed system that everybody is greeding enslaving each other as, perceive that there is no fuicking consequences of their acts - as long as the law allows it, and totally lost and why there must/should be an equal money system. People are either not very active in participating/Joining us and of course at this moment not many people are watching my vlogs. It's basically the same thing that I keep repeating myself for the same stuff. Maybe the more I vlog myself the better/handy I would be at. I already have 5-6 topics that I have drafted down and should be making vlogs soon to clear some of the stack ups.

I don't know if I can merge my vlogs with blogs so I don't have to do both because basically the nature is pretty much the same but I need to do double efforts to do both of them, I mean when an equal money system has installed there is no problem with that I can even use SRA to generate income or so, but Now! it's time is equal to money. Where I/we need to dig money out through laboring(and do it effectively I worked in a tofu factory being enslaved and hurt my knee in pulling heavy barrels of water and the injury has not been recovered, that $6 an hour won't even worth the medical bill, but I had no choice my mom won't even pay my fuicking internet, financially I was broke, that's why I took the realestate license test, that's why I wanted to join SRA income plan, that's why I wanted to work for Desteni Education - I am financially broke and I tried to worked as a slave in the matrix pyramid out there and it did work for me).

Even just for this little four paragraphs it already took me 30mins so far, just continuous typing and no thinking or so, I mean how the fuick are we or at least am I suppose to do all these works? If I have to do them, I am seeing myself as how can I do it efficiently. Like right now, I am stuck, what else should I write?

SF on want to be perfect in front of people:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place my value on how other people seeing me in their eyes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to place a good image on people I know and want them to like me.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that it is all known afterdeath that this is no need to hide anything within me so others cannot see it in me.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself I have switch persona to please different people and resulting in killing my physical body and die.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide my beingness from others and only showing what would please other people and gain advantage.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanted to hide and feel shame for my masturbations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide in self-dishonesty and lieing to myself and others.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself realize the importance of honesty.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that honesty is important as everyone is others as self.

(muscle test out: 10 more points)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that people will know my true image of being brutal and fierce in nature.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that we would see each other again even afterdeath.

Within seeing me wanting to switch persona to please other people I stop and breathe and remind me we will see each other again afterdeath and it would be all known by then.

Within seeing me wanting to hide my nature and only showing my good side I stop and breathe and remind myself there is no need and what is the point of hiding for couple of decades and dieing faster because of I concern of how other people see me for couple of decades.

MC - Jinks

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define jinks as living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanted to please and make all people around me madnessly losing control to invalidate my value.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my value on making everyone jinks around me.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to value myself.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to feel embarrassing when people gossiping me at the back of me.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to feel worthy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel when I don't have value inside other people's view I'd have no values then

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel I am not worthy if I cannot make people around me in jinks.

Within seeing me want to please/Jinks people to have a self-value I stop and breathe and act in what is best for all in totality.

MC - 4 more primary pattern points.

MC tested - 1276-1295 Most important primary pattern for why I resist in making vlogs - Ulterior 超出所說範圍 (extend beyond what have prepared to speak).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I might look ugly in other people's mind when I don't follow what I have prepared to speak.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry that when I make my vlogs I just speak things out out of expected that I can have a bad image on the viewers.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that making vlogs is also making statements expressing myself in the moments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear I totally run out of what I have prepared to speak and rather postponing in making my vlogs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to afraid seeing me totally unorganized in making vlogs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to have perfect vlog images on the viewers.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that I am also expressing in the moment when making vlogs according to the topics.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself afraid of facing myself and the public.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself worry about my mandarin speaking is too bad that viewers would have a hard time in understanding what I am saying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself worry about people's value to my vlogs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to catch attentions on viewers and want more people seeing my vlogs instead of just making them expressing and supporting myself.

Just come back from Hong Kong yesterday.1

Well, it has been two months ever since I went back to hong kong, time really go by fast and the first thing I found out when I come back is my display card is broken and I just bought a replacement for $130. still updating everything and I looked at goggle chrome and I think why not use half hour to write something on the blog. I still haven't adapt the time zone difference yet, very tired at this moment but I have to setup the PC and test the new display card to setup for making vlogs and things like that.

Two months have passed and nothing has progressed so far, I don't realize I have much progress. Just keep doing the four count breathe and trying very hard to become, aware of my breathe - breathing and talking at the same time, but I found out I can both talk and breathe if I really forcing myself to breathe and talk at the same time but when I just talk, I don't quite aware that I am breathing and talking simultaneously.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I am not making any progress and would suffer painfully afterdeath and making my process much much much harder.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry and fear that I am not making progress that I have not noticed any obvious progress and have not change myself into oneness and equality.

Had been masturbating too much, even just using nothing to masturbate. for me it is extremely difficult and almost impossible to get aroused by looking|aiming at darkness or nothing. if I do it when I 'feel' want to masturbate then there is possible that I can finish the masturbation without any pictures, if I you know, suppress it or don't want to finish it too quick or want to prolong the masturbation process to 'enjoy' it longer, then it's likely that I wouldn't able to erect and I would need to use 'picture' a little bit to get it 'started' and continue to finish the masturbation, else I wouldn't be able to complete the masturbation, it is like rubbing for half hour and you still can't erect, quite troublesome. I have been masturbating too frequent that I need to stop for a while let my body rest up|rejuvenate, I got some virus on my hand which I had before and the only way to cure it(I had it before) is to stop masturbation for awhile. I guess they are sexsually trasmitted disease. it's strange I got dreams every night that one of the dream is some children or so teach me how to dissipate the desire to masturbate is drinking lots of water and put a water boot wrapping my hands, and the next night it's a dream that an elegant white cat and when I try to talk to her (english of course) and it reply me, said they were a bit worried when I was tempted to masturbate, the interdimensions should be showing me something.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only define myself as energy as living through masturbation.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize it's Life that is living.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to live Life and not energy.

There are a lot of things that I have observed from hong kong but basically you can summerized them into a few sentences: totally lost in greed selfish self-interest and only the handful few people standing at the top of the total enslavement pyramids enslaving everyone else below them, it's like money! money! I need more money! don't care! give a damn! I don't care anything! as long as I have money for meat sex desires buy! buy! and buy more! I need more and more and more! I need to climb the enslavement pyramid so I can have more and more money so I can enslave(they use the word 'buy') others to enjoy my life, when I know one of my mother's friend, who has billions billions of dollars but still greed and mean as much as penny like as possible, that totally lost in greed that you wouldn't believe. yet, they are so frighten of sickness and disease like cancers, because then they would ceased to exist (that's what they think) so they do 'fear' stuffs, and the 'funny' thing is she finally got breast cancer three years ago, she has been bribing|pleasing all sorts of professors in USA in hong kong everywhere, thinking she's much much secured|safe than other 'slaves' under the pyramid - which are 'general|normal' peeople in hong kong. yet, she's got it. well, she did change a bit become more 'generous' to us, her 'words' are: you know how billions trillions money that I have, if I don't spend it now who or what do I need them for? so she dines out everyday (I presume) buying as much jewels as possible (until she feels happy again then a few weeks later go buy again). this is typical what people young girls in hong kong are worshiping to become such (her) a life always dreaming of, totally give a fuicking damn concern for one thing and this tiny tinsy one little fuicking thing that creating such a enormous mass of troubles, that they don't care don't see and have totally missed is: Consequences. the consequences of my act (or what I don't act), they don't won't even my mom (she's not buying not because of she care, it's only she doesn't have that amount of money in hand) do I need this(cellphone, cloths, shoes) what are the consequences of my doings(eg. the chicken, the meat that I eat), what is equality(why the fuick or are you insane thinking I am one and equal to the vegetable that I eat or the chicken need to experienced what enormous amount of pain ever since that chicken is born before they become food on the table) I am saying veggie, at this stage we need meat(I prefer white meat since I need much much or even no fruit is needed, I need to eat fruit if I eat red meat) I had tried, I had tried being total veggie only on eggs and vegetables for three years and it didn't work, my skin on the bottom of my feet starting to peel off and I am very frustrated every every day, whenever I went or we went out and dine, whenever I smell meats it's like it's not I 'want' to eat meat, it's like my body is urging me|implying me|teleparthing me to eat some meat. and whenever I did consume even a little shrimp or meat my frustration would went off for a few days(three days at most, man I did switch to veggie for three to [partial]five years). right now I am having two chicken wings each meal, which is more than enough for me to sustain my body. the frustration would be gone I am definitely minimizing the amount of white meat that I eat because Sunette had told me vegetables do feel pain too but they are here all the way so their experience is a bit 'interesting', I tried to pain my thumb with my finger nails and staying here all the way, see if it would reduce the amount of pain I sustain, it didn't work very well on that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lost into greed and enslaving others as sucking as much money as possible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to enjoy as enslaving others as self but do not want to take responsibility to work and do things myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself do not want to face the truth of equality that everyone everything as others is self and equal as to me.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that no matter how I run away from self-responsibility and equality we as self are always one and equal and always need to face the consequence no matter how many millions of years later.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that tricking and sucking money|taking advantages from others is taking|borrowing advantages that need to repay in the future.

I mean, it's inevitable (general speaking, as far as I know, sigh, the amount of pain would be much more) after death, tremendous tremendous amount of pain is waiting for everyone. I would very much like to reduce the amount of pain that I need to experience or at least train myself to get used to it as much as possible reducing the pain's effect, like, I think I should have come to earth or become human for many times, since when I was a child others or some children will complain|tell their parents that they are very|extremely painful during night time when their body growth, when they grow taller or for pulling a tooth out the following pain is how unbearable, but to me, generally I don't feel much of these. even when I took my wisdom teeth off I feel pain after the stablising pills went off, yes I do feel quit some pain, but it only last for two or three hours, afterwards, I am ok. I guess I am quite used to pain, but yet, at the same time, I am extremely afraid of pain. and the one thing that I don't understand is why pain is manifested in this world or why pain is needed or why there much be pain.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear pain and take advantage from others but don't want to feel pain.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think fearing pain is protecting me to not have pain.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize common sense is best for protecting me away from unnecessary pain.

Going back to Hong Kong tomorrow

I am going back to hong kong with my mom tomorrow, basically first because I am having difficulties in cooking for myself and I don't want to have a head start with my mom not here supporting me in vancouver, I really felt loney when I was alone last year for one month while my mom went back to hong kong. I really want to have friends I just enjoy doing staying living with someone that I found doing everything by myself is pretty not fun.

When I come back I will need to find a brokerage and starts walking my path as a realtor. I am still pretty feared 'cause I really don't know anything about being a realtor, what I studied in the book is totally two different things. I know it's possible to make some big money as a realtor but I went to saw some open house with my mom, to get familiar to how those realtors do, I found out they fuicking don't care anything, lie as much as they can as long as they can arouse you to buy the house they don't fuicking care, I said the property value in vancouver richmond has dropped a bit, the realtor from mainland said right away: no, it's rising. my mom ask the divide part of the garage into a small room, one realtor said it would be illegal, one mainland realtor said no it's legal that people usually apply and register the re-modification right away. and they are reflection part of what I have inside, and I need to find a way to work as a realtor that can make money but not telling much lies, as least as possible.

Really need to push myself to write something as long as I have time, I have planned to make a mandraine vlog but I was looking for information about how to unlock my mom's phone and the iphone that I might need to buy as a realtor. I was resisting to making vlogs that I need to write the script out first, I really need to push myself. for instance, when I am writing this blog I was listening to the TV episode of 超級遊戲獎門人.

Lost what I type in this blogger

Maybe there is something wrong I don't know what went wrong, some of my previous saved draft is gone. I have type quite some paragraphs about self-forgiveness on excitement, which is a really big topic since I and most people have defined ourselves as energetic excitements and I have like 20 primary pattern point on excitement and I ask what is the word that will most assist me in writing self forgiveness on excitement, since it is such a huge topic, muscle communication shows me elaborate.

Have finally push myself to make two vlogs about how I found desteni, I am getting better at this, not so scared and frightened, but there are really some works that I need to write the script out of what I am going to talk about that topic before I actually making the recording. this currently is quite time consuming since I really need to organize my words first. Last night when I make the second vlog, I didn't check the setting and it record the line in instead of from the webcam's mic, I didn't find out until I have finished the recording and I have to remake the whole thing again. At first I was really discouraged that I need to make the whole thing again, but surprisingly, the third one is better than the previous one. I talk more naturally more close to what I want to express.

Excitement (10 points) MC -> primary core pattern point -> Convivial 歡樂

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself addicted to banquet as excitement.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use gathering and banquet to get wild into energetic excitement.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get excited in wines and banquets.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define joy only in energetic excitements.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use energy as my only excitement.

Since I am working on my way to become a realtor I went to sears with my mom and found out I have gain a lot of weight, I need to buy 38waist pants. it's really causing me troubles since I am now 190 pounds not just it might hinder my impression as a realtor, it also causing me snort while sleeping and clamping in the chest area. I really need to do something about it. I used Muscle communication to ask is there a primary pattern point that can assist me in losing weight, it seems no at first or maybe I didn't ask it correcting, later I tested it out as lazy. really I have a lot of self-forgiveness to write on lazy. I always enjoy lazy, first it is a silent protest of you can do anything under my parent's control|suppression, secondly I used to have a very close friend that is extremely lazy(robin) that I should have copied it from him.

Obesity MC -> Lazy (2 points)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be lazy and enjoying lazy as recharging.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to keep to recharging myself as laziness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to left everything to my mom to take care of me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself use lazy as a protest for I can't do anything under my parent's containment.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that lazy is not living.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that lazy is wasting my time on earth.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself that when I am lazy I am not expressing myself.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that I enjoy expressing as a child long time ago.

Core primary pattern point MC -> clement 寛大
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be clement and use clement as an excuse of not expressing myself and lazy.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be clement be gentle and not arguing with my mom and think I would rather lazy and save my breathe in not arguing with my mom.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use clement as comfortable but not realizing it is actually a laziness and feeling of energy.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use clement as my expression not realizing clement is a feeling for laziness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide in clement as an bending of myself to my parents.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use clement to hide away from my problems thinking I don't need to face them.

Within seeing me want to use clement as lazy I stop and breathe do not participate the feeling of clement and express myself.

MC -> mousily 像老鼠
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think acting mousily can protect me and defending me from others that want to know my secrets.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel comfortable when I am mousily to others.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think if I act mousily I can protect my secrets.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act mousily so I can be smart.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act mousily so I am not in the spot light and I will not make a habit of enjoying showing myself under the spot light and if I become older and not attracted by the peer I would have a painful life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think acting mousily is keeping my head down and avoiding drawing conflict and attention from others.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think acting mousily is a low profile way of catching attention.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to act mousily to catch a female's attention.

Word that will most assist me in writing self-forgiveness point on mousily (4 points) MC -> cordially 誠摯地 MC: Is it I am not cordially enough? yes

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not sincere cordially treating people around me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I can take advantages from people around me so I can enjoy my life with money.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think treating people cordially will open a door inviting people around me to deceive and take advantage of me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think it is stupid to treat people around me cordially since no body will pity on me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I cannot treat people around me cordially since I need to protect myself from losing advantages.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to too lazy and not even want to try treat people around me cordially to them.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that we are oneness and equally.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be too frighten to treat people around me cordially.

Within seeing me wanted to be mousily I breathe and stop and treat people around me cordially oneness equally.

Dreaming insist every shanghai people are evil cunning and selfish inside

In the dream, for some reason we have two shanghai people, a mother and a son, the details I don't really remember what it's about but it's the after dinner and somehow the son is presenting himself as a nice person, but I know that based on how I contact with shanghai people's mind sets and what they act like I told myself that I know he is just pretending and he and all shanghai people's mind sets are cunning as a snake inside of him, selfish.

MC -> Assertion 堅持 (3 points)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to based on how I heard and experienced from the shanghai people as cunning and selfish and treat all shanghai people's mind sets are selfish.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear shanghai people's mind set as cunning and selfish and could harm me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge all shanghai people's mind sets as evil only based on I haven't met any shanghai person that support oneness and equality.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to accept the shanghai people as me as one and equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the shanghai people as being cunning selfish and vicious not realizing it's me us that is cunning selfish and vicious that they are reflecting what we are inside.

Within seeing the pattern that I want to assert a shanghai person is evil vicious I stop and breathe and test and see if that shanghai person support oneness and equality.

When I just wake up those periods are kind of like in the subconscious stage that I was between sleeping and awake, for two mornings I have thoughts of cutting my hands off with a japanese sword, it's horrible because thoughts are reflection of what my true essence is.

MC -> lenience 厚道 (10 points)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to treat kind and lenience in this world is useless is garbage not realizing that we are oneness and equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted to treat kind is we useless and why should I be kind to anything and lenience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be lenience for I have been forgotten we are oneness and equal for so long.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear and resist in finding out the words so that I can hide in my self-dishonesties for as long as I can.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to be self-honest to myself and honestly look for the words that could assist me and write my self-forgiveness and clear my essence once and for all and self-correct afterwards.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist in finding out what I truly is and write self-forgiveness out accordingly.

Within seeing the pattern of I want to resist I breathe and stop and do self-forgiveness to clear the resistance.

I just found out the dreams are assisting us to face what we are not facing in real world, not necessary telling us what we should Self forgive on. Also I have asked Andrea about why I am not getting relative words when using MC, she shows me the dreams are here for us to stand up within the situation in the dream.

I have been preparing for the real estate exam, I should be making the vlog before I go back to HongKong, I don't really like going back 'cause there is no internet or anything there, just staying there for a month or so, but last year my mom don't allow me to drive the car and just being vegetarian makes my living really troublesome, needs to cook by myself and it's like trapping inside a prison cell, I don't have friends here to go out or have gatherings, living by myself only is really difficult for me, I enjoy chat with friends.

There is still difficulties in pushing me to make the vlog, I am calculating on what to speak what I would like to communicate to the world out there, to the destonian. in my mind I have been go through, simulating how to make notes and what to talk about, probably would first talk about my view to desteni and my feelings to desteni, and second topic is why equal money why equality. I know sometimes I will just need to go for it because it's almost always wouldn't turn out as what I planned through the mind, what through the mind is very limited. the most important is when I really do it, put myself into actually working on it then the plans will need to modify|change accordingly. I still remember I use weeks to plan how I am going to buy a chinese writing pen to assist me do the translation and it turns out because I need to exert the force down along the outer side of my hand against the floor it hurts me so bad that after using it for ten days, I have to give up the pen and learn chinese typings. today I can type moderately not very good but good enough to translate three hundred youtube videos, afterall, I have been typing chinese for a year now.

two indians playing poker and gambling on 1 million dollars onlined

In the dream, I was with my mother. she is as usual trying to save money and selecting and buying sausages into the shopping cart. I was impatient and frustrated because I was working there and I know the store owner is trying to hoax on her wanting her to buy as much as possible, the owner is silent. so I stop her and impatiently told her not to buy anymore we can't use that much. the store owner then said to me: you shouldn't mind your family's matter. I felt automatically frustrated and can't help but wave my fist to hit his mouth. then I woke up.

I used MC to test for emotion, feeling and dictionary, I can't get a clear unlock response and when I ask: on yes no, is there a word that would most assist me in writing self-forgiveness in regarding to the dream of me hitting the store owner? it gives me a no.

In this dream I saw two Indian playing poker, I was working or somewhat like that, all of a sudden everyone gather around the table(they were betting a few hundred dollars), so I go check out what is going on, I was working as a vegetable or market worker, they were an old and a young indian both betting 1 million on each other through an internet website and they have little screens showing both have 1 million bet on top of each other's head, and the young indian won, of course he's happy and I see the old indian is desperate and speechless. the screen on top showing 2 million. I was feeling: wow, that young indian can easily obtain such amount of money he can spend whatever he wants.

MC -> mellowing explanation richness 濃烈, Is it my desire for living richnessly? Yes. (3 points)

(this seems incorrect)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to live in a richness life not realizing that richness is through robbing and enslaving others at the bottom of the pyramid.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself desire to live richnessly and project into enjoying the luxuries and living more than abundant not realizing that the abundant is suck from the poor|others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think poor people deserved to suffer while I want to climb the enslavement pyramid and live my comfortable and richness.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that richness comes with pay back that richness needs to payback in upcoming lifes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to have lots of money and buy lots of toys to play.

MC -> kill (nine points)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself associate kill and energetic ecstasy together as high.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine killing is energetic excitement highness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only project my highness in killing but not realize that we are oneness and equal and consider for the one that is being killed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use killing to exert all my energetic frustration inside me out through killing.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize killing others is extreme pain and not a type of sport.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use video game simulation to exert my frustration and pump my energetic ecstasy in killing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself using the video game's pictures are not real as an excuse to exert my desire of killing other people.

MC -> impassioned 激動(6 points)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel impassionate about killing others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to need to kill others to feel impassionate.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to obsessed my passion into killings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself by killings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be selfish and only care about the energetic impassion of killing others and not care about what the one being killed need to go through and suffer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fuel my passion into killing others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project infuse the impassion of killings into gambling.

Within seeing the pattern of impassionate to kill others I stop and breathe and consider the other as me in oneness equality.

For those that are new here, the point of using muscle communication to assist in writing self-forgiveness is to clear and release purify ourselves, first self forgive and release the system, then through corrective application to step by step, bit by bit change|alter our essence|nature to be, like steering the car into the right course|track. I am still having difficulties in writing self-forgiveness throughly and fluently. I found the MC helps me a lot, although sometimes my MC response is not clear.

MC -> kissed 被殺死(3 points)

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to have mercy on the ones that are in my hand to kill.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be excited about being killed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project in the excitement of being killed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to obsessed into the extreme energy in being killed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fantasize being killed is extreme exciting.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to bend to superiority and accept being killed.

Within seeing the pattern I want to feel impassionate to kill I stop and breathe and consider having mercy on the ones that are in my hand.

Within seeing the pattern of I want to feel excitement of being killed I breathe and stop and do not participate.

fear of living in china

In the dream I was in china, in a poverty tunnel area, there is a woman that I am talking to her, she is kind and nice, I like talking to her but I was fear to stay there as I could be mistreated by the corrupted government and people over there, that I do not want to stay or I was very cautious while staying there. I also feeling sad (sighed) and have sympathy on her and those that need to live inside the tunnel.

fear of living in China|Poverty(10 points):

word that will most assist me: commonalty 平民, indigent 貧窮

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to live in poverty for I would lack of protection and suffer.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that it is oneness in equality and should work in achieving|reaching everyone being take care of not avoiding being poverty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear live in china in poverty that everyone is surviving and cheating each other like animals.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear for people that might trick gain advantage and harm me when they are poor.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in dirty and poor environment not realizing that it is the people that I live with matters not the environment that I am living in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear of being a commonalty and suffer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to live in luxury and being rich.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize luxury and rich is pirating and sucking making the and the commonalty to nurture the rich instead of everyone being supported within oneness equality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to get high and luxurious living not realizing those are energetic stimulation with serious consequences and will not last.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear living in poverty country I will be extremely exploited and I can't do anything about it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear of being indigent and suffer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear of need to suffer at the bottom of the enslavement pyramid and being indigent.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear of being poor|indigent and being enslaved by the rich.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear of being enslaved as indigent but just try to climb the enslavement pyramid but do nothing to help|assist in achieving oneness equality, making heaven on earth.

Within seeing me fear of indigent I stop and breathe and work my way in making heaven on earth.

I have dream about Robin for two nights, at the first night I ignore it and on the second night he appear again in my dream. I guess it's the interdimentions forcing me to face my problems. I was his friend for over ten years, to me he is a very always said nothing on the surface but vicious inside always trying to take advantages from people around him, so I don't value him as my friend that much, I am almost like being as friend with him but I am always cautious about him. for some reasons, one year, I don't know how the white light has preprogrammed our lifes, he met a girl wingie who worked there and every guys over there wants to be her boyfriend and I was attracted to her sex appeal too, sometimes I would very much wonder if I met her again and she's bald with only her true nature true essence would I be that much fond of her want to be with her, so he's with her and I was based on the equality principle thinking that it is her matter of who she wants to be and approach her, well she has been dating with different guys boys at that time, and somehow she told Robin of what I have said to her and of course, because of he sees her as a possession and want to possess her, he makes it as a big deal of me betraying him and stuff like that, so that's how we got separated in our friendship.

In the dream, I met him again, and he's kind of still angry inside, I told him that we can keep hating each other this way forever or we can set aside and continue walk our path. In the dream he understand what I mean and become friendly with me again, of course it's in the dream not in real life, yet. In the second dream we are just talking, I forgot the details.

to Robin (7 points), MC -> reset 重接斷骨, unthinkable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate robin because of his reactions to me in posession to wingie.

I forgive myself that I haven't accept and allowed myself to realize that we are all oneness in equality and what I pursuit of wingie's just her sexual appearance.

I forgive myself that I haven't accept and allowed myself to forgive robin and reset our relationships.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I have totally blame on robin for being obsessed and possessed on wingie and narrowing his sight of blaming me as the all fault.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame since robin has been using me all along for over 10 years in trying to gain advantages from my family so he deserves me being dishonest to him.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame robin for standing in the middle so me and wingie don't stand a chance and denied to accept him and rest our relationship.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame robin for being cunning and denied to be friends with him not realize he is reflecting I am cunning.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate robin for being selfish not realizing that it is me that is being selfish.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get angry at robin because of wingie and blaming him for shattering my chance of pursuing wingie.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to treat robin as an unthinkable unacceptable person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see robin as disgusting to think about him.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself do not want to see robin and face him.

Within seeing the pattern I want to get angry at robin i breathe and stop and assist him accordingly.

Within seeing the pattern that I don't want to see him I breathe and stop the reactions coming forth.

In the dream I don't even remember with who or what circumstances I am remote controlling these little z-gundam robots and fighting one little robots to another robots. I still remember in one battle I break the opponent robot's arm or something then the opponent feel screwed this time, and I don't want to but I have to and keep going tear his robot's arm off.

battling in games of z-gundam robots, MC -> merciless 殘忍 (4 points)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a mean and merciless person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use survival as a reason to morph myself into a merciless person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think merciless is the most useless and a sign of week in the universe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself that I don't need to treat people mercy because I only have one life and I need to always climb to the top of the pyramid and be a dominator.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that we are all oneness and equal and being mercy is being mercy to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to treat mercy as weak.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be selfish and not being mercy and kind to others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that a strong man do not allow mercy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look for energetic excitement flow in brutal 殘忍

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress my brutality nature.

Self-Forgiveness on killings on video games and fear of cops

多謝大家留言支持, It has been for quite quite awhile, a long while ago almost a year ago before I pushed by Robert to pick up and write this blog again, ha, it's almost a dead blog.

What has happened this year? lots and lots of things happened. I have been doing the translation work in http://www.youtube.com/DesteniChineseTD. Using one year, I have translated close to 300 videos. Thank goodness most of the core videos I have translated them into chinese, got some 200 to 300 stead viewers, also setup a chinese forum for mostly at this moment are taiwaneses to gather up. Of course their response currently are not very active in participation.

Also studied the Desteni SRA course for a couple of months, it assist a lot because at least for my current level, I can use muscle communication to ask the physical about like my dreams about, give me hints give me answers. The SRA took me a lot of time and effort to do the exercise and know the materials because it is totally not as easy as I think. Really need to spend a few hours each day to do the 'SRA homeworks', and for the worse part I find the materials difficult to understand. To me they are not very detailed or sometimes lacking of examples which I find examples are very important in learning the materials. So right now because of money time and efforts I have stopped SRA for a month or so, 'hopefully' I can as Andrea said, re-join another group once I got stablized in the real-estate business which I would also write about in the next paragraph.

Money money and moeny. what I found out in the matrix - this current enslavement pyramid world, what I or you need is money. everyone needs money. like without money my mom fuicking even said will cut my internet line, I can't support myself to keep contact with Desteni. I have encountered some people said: Oh so you have changed? you destenians still have desires? It is not desires 欲望 or anything, it's the basic common sense, without money Desteni even can't exist I see that point after I joint desteni for awhile. so what can I do? I don't have a degree, currently too late go back to school and earn a degree or so(and I missed the chance to work for desteni education because I don't have a degree to apply for a NT visa) so how can I generate money? it would almost be a miracle happen on me to generate money in vancouver this lousy business area, while like 3 to 4 years ago when still is the white-light period, I have studied real-estate and wants to become a realtor, but they require you to pass an exam first. at first I was like, I was never good at studying and memorizing things, my Life was programed that way, so I gave up 2 years ago, after studying for 2 months and everything was still a cloud a mess inside my head, I just read but nothing is processed and I can't recalled them. However, these few months I realized: Oh shit! I can't go on like this. yes I support Desteni with chinese translation but I am not getting any money, even when they said I can go and train in SA for 2 months, I don't fuicking have the money to buy the ticket. and after a year's full time work, the DesetniChineseTD channel is already quite on track 上了軌道, as I said most of the core videos got translated I should consider how to earn money to support me, at least to keep my internet opened and maybe even some extra money to support desteni, so I decided to pick up the real-estate licensing course again, thanks Life I hadn't paid it, I got a 1990 version text book from a friend.

So I study it for two months, strange, this time, things are more smoothe the materials are more make sense when I read them this time. maybe I am reading through the physical? I am not sure, before I was squeezing my brain to try to 'memorize' them, I mean I know nothing about Desteni and all how these things work, I knew nothing, I though the brain cells are everything. I mean, how primitive we currently are, how less we know about this universe or even how our body works and everyday all sorts of people on radio TV you name it, claiming they can heal or are experts on what area and they are making a living earning lots of money! In fact they are the very naive and ignorant people propergating their theory. this world is totally in reverse. so I am on the road to take the real estate exam again, I mean I want to work for desteni, I want to work for desteni education, of course right now the more practical would be want to join the Desteni income plan, but even that I would need money I would need to get some income and re-join the SRA course as a prerequisite.

Oh man, writing this already cost me 2 hours, not to mention I have dreams every night and still haven't use Muscle communication to assist me write SF on last night's dreams. I don't have time to write at this moment, I need to study the real-estate exam, if I fail, I would need to wait at least three months before I can retake it.


Ok, here is some backgrounds for my dream. I dream I was inside a video game, I am a woman(very strange) an agent or something with a gun and have a female partner tied up, and got some nudity scene too(don't know why), then she got disappeared got moved somewhere, then I was stalking inside a room and a uniformed security guard was walking opposite site, and I have a split of a second want to shoot him. I kind of like project I have sort of feel the high excitement surge(split of excitement) if I go shoot him.

killing people inside video games(MC test out-> joilliness 愉快).
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to kill people inside video games.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to experiencing killing inside a video game.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see shooting a gun to kill people inside a video game is cool not realizing what I accepted and allowed will be my nautre essence.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself I want to kill people inside video games.
I forgive myself that I have accpeted and allowed myself to feel 愉快 in killing people inside video games.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find my jolliness in killing people inside video games.
I forgive myself that I have accpeted and allowed myself to think it is 愉快 to kill people inside video games and it's just virtual.
I forgive myself that I have accpted and allowed myself to want to feel killing is 愉快.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to enjoy the nastiness of killing people inside video games.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel happy and excited when seeing people suffer and being killed.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel excited when I see people suffer and executed.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exert my spite on people by killing poople.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel elation when killing people.

Within seeing I want to enjoy the joliness of killing people inside video games I stop breathe and do not participate for everyone and everything in existence is oneness and equal.


this is a dream that I was talking to a cop, he was very friendly almost like a friend. I have a partner he is at the back of the van, we have many crates of guns and ammos, for some reason my partner is frustrated and he wants to show the cop the guns and ammos, I was quite frighten that he would do so and the cop might find out.

fear of cops (5 points) (MC word that will most assist me in writing SF: evil 邪惡 魔鬼, meek 謙恭)
I forgive myself that I have accpepted and allowed myself to fear cops.
I forgive myself that I have accpeted and allowed myself to fear cops have guns that can kill me.
I forgive myself that I have accpeted and allowed myself to fear being killed and not existed anymore.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have to be humble and obey cops or else I would get into troubles.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear cops as gods.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to bend myself fearing of cops.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to spite cops are evil.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate cops are evil.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that a cop can harm me anyway he wants.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as a evil person in front of a cop.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I might discover my deeds as evil in front of a cop.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as evil in compare to a cop.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to meek to a cop.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make me inferior and humble to a cop.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I must meek and worship a cop.

Within seeing me wanted to meek a cop I stop and breathe and being normal and do not fear him.
Within seeing me feeling inferior and worrying i am evil in front of a cop I stop and breathe and do not fear of a cop.