Recap of these two weeks

1:53am. So writing again. Have been busying doing Software sales training these days. Have been communicating with Cameron. He has been quite assisting since I currently lack the knowledge in sales and he has been doing well in the sales now.

Have also been working in tuning my voice this is a very time consuming task that I need to constant monitor and find tune it. Difficult at first and still exploring.

Mom has been disgusting about Desteni and software sales. Not pledging much support at this moment, giving me a hard time in thinking of ways to come up with money.

Also have been engaged into translating the scripts into Chinese that is essential as most people living here speaks mandarin need Tanya do a mandarin recording. Currently the software still doesn't accept Chinese characters so I can't use it to help me recite the Chinese scripts. Would take some time in reciting it.

So far the English version script has been 'implanted' quite well, I am getting it better each day. Still practicing on using the program. Practicing on saying the words when I type it, I cannot say it aloud since I am with mom but it seems just by saying the words already achieve a bettering knowing stage than just type it.

So what I have been doing is plainly training myself to be a salesperson and lots of software information knowing training. English version has been satisfying and a little bit worry about the Chinese version but it is way easier than real estate where you don't need to cater learning so much details and information and have been prepared for so long and I still haven't earn a dime yet. There are way so much information that you need to prepare ahead in real estate. Here just concentrate on reciting the scripts.

Have been tired and sleeping close to eight hours each day. I need sometime to rest and revise my direction in how to do the sales job effectively. I confess that the most effective way is actually do it and revise. Usually what I have in mind is Not what it is like in reality.

Still have some thoughts of pictures of cutting myself and think it will generate energy for me. Since have stopped masturbation for a few weeks now, I/the mind is lack of energy and want to recharge through pain thinking pain is extreme exciting just by thinking about it