Persimistic about it could be difficult to generate sales in selling software

10:15pm.

I felt door knocking is such an exhausting job. Based on how I door knock last time it was extreme exhausting. I project I am not going to get any appointments or results by knocking on people's door. I think I am not read yet, I would rather being comfortable inside my house and train myself to an acceptable level first so I can have higher chance of closing a sales. As Bernard said door knocking needs to be extremely well structured to get anywhere. At this stage door knocking is highly likely to waste my breathe and effort.




Just by writing it out, I already feel a release like putting a burden off my solar plexus, isn't it amazing? Now the self-forgiveness part. I know, I was just like some of you -- I skipped the self-forgivenss part, it is not interesting but when I research Desteni more deeper later on, I found self-forgiveness is something that I did not want to do(because I am not skillful yet, I Process definitely will help) but definitely help me bit by bit cleaning myself and obviously cleaning my thoughts so thoughts don't automatically jumps out anymore. Isn't that horrible whenever I saw a plane I would have thoughts want it explode or when I saw a little dog I would have thoughts of stepping on it's head, or saw a iron stick inserted in the ground and wanted to experience my eyes pieced through it. Through my research I find out I cannot just force/suppress myself to dissipate them, then the most effective way is self-forgive down to as detail as possible then don't do it again. Isn't it logical that these thoughts must be originate from us somewhere? They are from what we accepted and allowed in the past. Like I played a lot of shooting videos games(about killings and I felt excited when I shoot someone) and Japanese animations(bloody porn-atic stimulants) and I believe these are my cause of those thoughts. I have to do something about them.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to speak from my mind and react through my mind instead of self- directing myself and expressing myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge door knocking is difficult and I will always have the same results and not willing to spend my effort in door knocking to learn and change my course.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge that I will get extremely low appointments rates based on how I did last time on door knocking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge through my mind and place my value in my judgments/my mind.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to learn in the actual field and actually learn and adjust my approach.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to change myself to fit into my environment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to change me since changing me means I was not right I was wrong I wasn't superior.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize I was never right for I was only self-interested.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust my mind in projecting how the door knocking outcome is so uncertain.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to find ways to make door knocking fun and something to enjoy.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize door knocking is the way of training me how to handle people's mind lower their resistance and convince them for an appointment.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to spend time and effort for door knocking as a learning process.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to spend time and effort in fine tuning door knocking and learn from it.

11:35 pm.

Update on the my stoppong of masturbation for 2-3 weeks now

12:38 am. Reading takes less time than watching the whole youtube clip(I usually make it 30 mins) so I will stop making vlog for awhile and see how effective blogging can be in drawing people's attention. We are serious in bringing forth Equal Money Oneness and Equality to this world -- Our best if not only solution to this Massacre abusing and enslaving each other's World.

So I got a day off -- went to sleep early yesterday night. I slept like 9 hours not totally sleeping but also contemplating reviewing how I should do with my real estate license. Sometime I found that I want to do more reading software exercises to increase my pace on getting the scripts done and quicker in doing sales in the software but I was tried and I need to rest.


So I have stopped masturbation for 2-3 weeks by now at least. The feeling is like I am getting my memory back things begin to have imprints/impressions after I read them. It is after I walked pass the addiction of masturbation that I can appreciate the here-ness the present, the memory the stable and I thought the energy or sexual desires was totally everything I lived for -- they have subsided by now. My biggest problem on masturbation is not I cannot stop it, I stopped it for 7 months but the 'itch cycle' comes and when I go: Ok, I should be ok to do it once and when I did it I "couldn't stop" and keep asking for more that's my biggest problem that I need to face and resolve this.

Like right now I am pretty calm enjoying that I am totally stable and do not specifically have the desire to masturbate. Just present -- here with my body. Besides masturbation is a form of energy pass through my body that I apparently enjoyed but harming those that receive it including my body. Right now, according to my last couple of masturbations, whenever I masturbate my finders would react with/have I believe those are virus. Which also as I said, it's absolutely true that when I masturbated a lot in the past, my memories were extremely bad. I can confirm it with you here. Masturbation do not rejuvenate me/you, it only rejuvenates the mind. I would suggest not hide behind sleeping but rest awhile if you really need to re-charge instead of masturbating.

I am thinking how I am going to handle all these works here? I promised to do a lot of things including Desteni and re-study the SRA materials. I went into the mind projecting it would be difficult including writing the blog right now. I wanted a quick way out, wanted to sleep and recharge, I wanted to rest. I need a break. I feel painful for handle so many tasks, how am I going to handle 2 days of open houses(to learn how to work with resisting clients). I want to rest and don't have to face all these challenges most importantly is the pressure from my mom, nagging I am spending a lot of her money and not earning anything, I need to train myself and worry I won't get satisfying results in two months, I have already train myself on the scripts just reciting them took me around 25 days already.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry that I might not have satisfying improvements on my sales training to sell the software.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project how fast I would pick up learning to sell software based on how I did in the past 25 days instead of learning and adjusting myself all the time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I don't want to write my blog or do research for Desteni as I need to find ways to earn money as soon as possible.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize it is doing for what is best for all that I will find myself effective and feel honest and won't regret in my future on how I spent my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think oh I failed in the SRA before, I didn't understand the material and it would be still the same not realizing I have changed, I got my memory partialy back and I already showing improvements in reading and understanding the materials.


I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to dedicate my life and time on just doing it and not project any fears or predicting the outcomes based on my past.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize the past is just a reference from the past and life is ever changing and the mind seldomly right in predicting the future.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to learn from how I translate and learn how to type the chines characters that no matter how detailed I planned it is I actually do it that matters and I adjust it accordingly to achieve the best results and progress.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust my fears of projecting it will be difficult but instead of doing it bit by bit and revise it according.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself enjoying I complaining and whining about how I experience the discomfortabilites and not willing to go out of my comfort zone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself just want to hide in my old comfort zone style of living and do not want to experience pain and instead of doing it bit by bit.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my mom's angriness and nagging on me for spending a lot of her money instead of directing the situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to complain it's so painful in doing all sort of estimation and I don't want to get it wrong in deciding what I should do with my real estate license.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to complain and whining about I cannot stand it I want my old comfort zone back not realizing it is only making my situation worse for the words create who I am instead of directing myself bit by bit.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize door knocking might be just a temporary run to start my selling and I project myself into it is so difficult and hard work and do not want to learn from it practice it do it effectively.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize pressure is my self-created because I don't want to make mistakes and fall but when fear of falling I have fallen already.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize I can only do my best to direct myself and it is not about not to fall but if/when I fall I forgive myself and climb and stand up again and correct myself.

As usual, a big release and now the time for self-corrective statements to change my essence.

Within seeing I want to whine again I stop and breathe reminding myself it won't solve my pain it only make my situation worse and I make myself angry I direct myself and learn and adjust in every moment.

Within seeing me want to stay in my comfort zone and trusting the mind's projection of how difficult it is, I stop and breathe and remind myself it is actually doing it that matters and truly works.

I direct myself I do things bit by bit and adjust and learn accordingly.

1:46 am.

Money and Zombies

11:06 pm. So forcing myself to keep writing. What should I write about? Have been using the vocabulary building program to build the scripts and closing all along almost for these half month, ever since I decided to switch to become a software sales. Heavy training.

I am still not certain on how it will turn out, how I would do it here in Vancouver. Everything is still a question mark of how I do it how do I approach, it's like the mind is always insecure when you cannot calculate the path ahead and always like

I don't know/not sure how to do it. Because from past experience usually what the mind project is wrong and what/how the circumstances turn out is totally different that what I anticipate. I though sale was easy but so far it has turned out totally different than what I though of I just use my big moth to talk -- it's the opposite I should talk less and listen more. Also, for example I though door-knocking is easy but it's totally not that I mean I got tired just by doing it for one Saturday for 2 hours but I don't have time to think about those now, I know what I need to do is to concentrate on my training. The more I am prepared the more effective I would be, without properly trained myself to a satisfactory level and blindly walking out would just waste my time and effort because it would be difficult for me to close any appointments. So training training and training.

What I have been experiencing through these how long? 20 days? or 25? training and time went by very fast. What I realize is even when you find a path to make money it would take a lot of effort to train yourself and have to have the right tool to assist you or it would take even much longer.

From the beginning that I totally didn't have a clue of how to remember/learn the stuffs to today that I have a basic foundations. It could take 6 months to learn the materials without the program and I am serious. When I took the real estate license test I kept studying 6 hours a day and right after 1 hour I would forgot the information and I just kept repeating kept reading it again and again to 'repaint my memory'. Now it's like I 'know' the information and I can remember them to a very high accuracy.

I have been wondering what I can share, what I can write about in my blog. Because it is pretty simple -- Walk every breathe in bringing forth Equal Money system to end all atrocities on earth to an extreme big evolution through such a small step. Do I just keep writing the same message again and again? What can I share how I apply myself in Oneness and Equality? While most of my time is just typing in front of the PC several hours everyday. One thing of course for sure is I walk myself stand up got a grip financially then see how I can support Desteni. Desteni I Process is a great way to make money but I need money to take the course so I need this software selling job to earn money. Everything is always about how to put my time and effort to the best use to bring forth the Equal Money as a first step. Because with all sort of atrocities and all sort of sufferings happening on children, the majority being slaves in the pyramid, animals in slaughter house, all sort of pains happening right in every second, shouldn't I participate and do something about this? Shouldn't I do my best effectively in participating so that everyone can enjoy Heaven on Earth and including myself I mean I am 40 years old now that's not much I can enjoy I would be happy to see the Equal Money system setup within 10-20 years, Imagine all sort of garbage that we throw out everyday -- Printers, TVs, Chairs, Cars, Fridge you name it, the all more you throw away the more you need to 'replace' with new means someone including yourself need to go work your lungs out everyday! It is simple common sense so simple that including myself didn't see it and I see it now.


So it is not for how I can enjoy in a Equal Money system or how much money I can earn to enjoy. It is just simply we cannot go on this way -- because of Greediness we humans are severly harming each other through money as greediness disregarding everything but only energy stimulants in our eyes/we call this as 'life': sex, masturbation, diamonds, fancy cars, delicious cuisines, traveling, 'joy' which is just a form of energy, beautiful cloths, ipods, ipads, new notebooks, games that we practice killing and shooting also energy. All these desires shouldn't we see it common sensely we are totally lost in energy and can't stop. Don't you see that the majority 'slaves' inside the money enslavement pyramid are just walking zombies seeking and sucking energies whenever they can.

11:44 pm.

Water Powering Engine - Greediness is the source of humanity's evil, Technology won't solve a thing

Fox news report http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9iWaCMbw60

11:56 pm. This has always been fascinating to me that you don't need gasoline no need to spend tons of money to drill the gasoline out for a power source -- as a temporary solution to solve our daily needs. Yet the 'inventor' is based on his self-interest using law to patent his copy right and even partner with the US military to invent on how to power armored vehicles or tanks by water.

Have we been lost in lacking even a tiny bit of commonsense here -- technology never and can't solve the problems on earth, it is greediness that causing all sort of atrocities on earth. Quite some people keep saying technology can bring heaven on earth -- a fantastic future no it won't. Because of Greediness the inventor didn't give a damn about millions of those that are starving to death say children in Africa, Middle east, China or India you name it and his sole starting point is greediness. The government did care only in how can turn their crushing tanks into money generating machines through war and killing other humans. This is the sold proof that how Greediness has turned us everyone's sole starting point is just greediness and how I can enjoy my life by not taking self-responsibility and just exploiting more and more.


Water engine can be a savior that saves millions of children or those working at the base of the enslavement, providing food shelter(right now house and land is used as a tool for people to flip to make gigantic profits) power easy to get water as fuel power machines to harvest to plant food to transport poor children to hospitals to schools, to power lights and millions even all of humanity can benefit from it. Yet it didn't turn that way -- because everyone's starting is just Greediness, money is just a tool a cover up, the smoke scene. What really is the source of all atrocities and pain and sufferings is Greediness.

Water engine can/right now is developing for military use powering killing machines so that a country can be stronger and further dominate/enslave other countries and kill more people so the rest would live in fear and have to bend their knees on the ground and beg for: Please don't kill me, I would rather be your slave to serve you. Water engine has been used as a tool for one person's self-interest of wanting more money so he doesn't need to work and fuick the rest 75% of the earth are suffering painfully starving each day enslaved in a Chinese factory worked to death for making ipods or playstations.

Oil companies try to postpone or sabotage the project. I remember some even got killed so they can continuous owning the privilege of if you want to live if you want power source -- you have to buy from us for oil, not to mention the elite at the background that has been plotting to reduce the human population because earth is not producing oil anymore.

You want to solve this mess? You want to continue live the rest of your life until you die? Oh yes, time is ticking and those that do not support oneness and Equality would be deleted from earth. Support Desteni, join Desetni I Process -- the income plan that can earn your living at home while you learn how to become a stable better being.

Like us, Show your dedication and participating in bringing forth Heaven on Earth, so one day when you come back on earth again, in next life, whether you are an animal or human or grass -- You live in a 'love thy neighbor like thyself' heaven on earth. Not this Water engine used to power tank or bombers or chicken stick in a 3x3 inch iron cage for the rest of it's life extremely abused totally beyond the imagination or concentration camps. That just because your current life is ok is comfortable and you don't need to care about everything in existence in universe around you -- the natural disasters are exactly doing the same to you/showing you, you don't care about everything, this is the consequence you would suffer or eliminated removed from this earth when the 'deadline' has come.

It would be too late by then, it is all common sense.

12:29 am.

A report on my recovery from thoughs of self-harming

11:44pm Phew, just finish re-installing my XP this morning. Got virus hampered and as you all/most know setting up an OS is a time consuming jobs, especially need to look up in the webs and try to isolate then solve the problems.

The thoughts on cutting, piercing myself in the eyes cutting myself at least they haven't vividly appeared in my mind and I am keep reminding myself everything is me my body is me and everything in existence is me. The water just boiled and when I hear the tick my mind has the image of want to pour the boiling water on my cheek so this point is not cleared yet. Will write some self-forgiveness on it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear I might go hysteria and pour the boiling water onto my cheek.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to have energy and thinking pouring boiling water is like heavy shower water to make me fresh and make me feeling alive instead of realizing I should use my common sense and protect me realize it will only harm my body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to long for energy that I will use any means possible to get energy not realizing energy is harming the recipient causing suffering and destructing in nature.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think boiling water is just as relief and refreshing as hot bathing water.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think if I cant sustain the more heat and pains I can make myself more attractive as a hero figure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and want to use self-torture self-pain to make me 'stronger' and can handle the harsh of reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think pouring boiling water self-torturing pain is a way to train myself and make more endurable to the harsh life in reality.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself claiming I need use self-torturing to cure my weakness means I am weak and would be always weak.

Within seeing me want to stimulate me using boiling water to stimulate me on the cheek I stop and breath and remind myself common sense is the key and energy will just like greed and can never be satisfy.

Within seeing me want to self-torture to generate pain to be an heroic figure I stop and breathe and remind myself everything in existence is equal and there is no heroic but self-forgiveness within self-honesty.

so I have sleep for an hour while I was lying on the bed and fall in sleep so quickly.
12:52am.

3:22pm So I can't actually say at this moment I am totally clear of these self-harming thoughts but at least they are not floating/poping out automatically and I am changing myself changing my essence. Some of you might say it's bull shit I don't need to pay or do anything to stop myself I can just stop myself, how I am going to Do/Act out these are just thoughts, I am in control. I would say that is totally ego and we'll see - as Bernard said: The demons will take over the people and Act out and they will seek out all forms of ways to 'repair fix them' until every method fails and they have to try Desteni I process. After threes years of studying Desteni and especially after observing/seeing how the nature disasters have changed this world, compare to three years ago when everything seems normal and nothing has changed/happened but look at what we are having now and it's just the prelude.

I speak some self-forgiveness points when my mom was out inside the house. I feel somooth, comfortable, cleared inside me that I haven't experienced for a long time a little bit of 'highness' feeling but I am working on speaking/writing on self-forgiveness points to do it once and for all. I mean I know there are tons of points about one issue that I can do self-forgiveness on and I resist/don't want to change my old style of living, energy masturbation or even agriness resentments. Yes sometimes it's not sometimes on me I used to have tons of resentments about anyone that treat me viciously or cunningly and I didn't get what it means kept asking why or resent that person as there is nothing I can do but hate hate and hate. Of course I need to walk my way out through self-forgiveness.

Right now, I only know I need to train myself as fast as effective as possible into a TT Software salesperson make a stand got a grip in making money then get back to SRA course(Desteni I Process) as soon as possible - that's the place where you can earn quite a lot of money through doing your process learn how to do it effectively, if it's not money and I lack of faith in I-Process can generate money for me, I wouldn't quit Desteni I-Process a year ago. But of course I don't even have money to pay for my internet and my mom doen't fuikcing care only about her money. I need to find an effective way to make money anyways, can't make money through bloging.

Oh by the way, Bernard said if any of you guys that are 'rich' and have money but don't have time to study Desteni I-Process you can Sponsor some lads on Desteni invest on them and after they have trainees under them, they can stand up and have clients/agents under them, they can sustain themselves. I definitely agree with what Bernard said: If you understand best for all, if you know what Desteni means to the whole word you would already give up your self-interest and support Desteni with everything you have, you don't even need someone to ask/tell you to support Desteni.

4:13pm

My Story of writing Self-forgiveness on Piercing my eyes

9:03 So I am waiting for my PC to burn the XP image, need to prepare for reinstalling XP got virus in my OS.

I just wrote the self-forgiveness out yesterday and posted in on Desteni website. I used to think these thoughts of piercing my eyes or cutting my own tongue these thoughts will go away or fade away as time goes by but as Bernard has said: Human will be more possessed by the demons and difficult to control their own acts or whatever they have in thoughts they would act it out. So these thoughts keep floating out especially in the morning when I just wake up, partial conscious.

Sometimes you know my bladder has been holding my pee for whole night but I want to rest and don't want to get up right away, I was just lying in my bed listening the radio blurring -- I would have thoughts of cutting my penis, this has also happened when I was peeing. So these thoughts have come to an extent that I can not just rely on speaking the self-forgiveness and got to do something about it.

So I do a Ranting and Raving, still don't have time to go through Mind construct again(these are all in the Desteni I Porcess) currently totally concentrating on training myself become a education software salesperson. I myself use the software to assist me a lot in remembering the scripts -- It extremely shorten the memorizing process, time taken and the best of all -- It won't fade away, you know that inside it is in you. I know it might sound funny/stupid some might say: What are you taking about? Once you remember it is in you. No it's not try to remember it 3 hours later, you have to keep memorizing the information and you never remember them except for those that die hard memorizing and discipline themselves to 'death' bookworms could. A three pages script that I use 10 days through the education software to put the information 'into Knowing into me' and I can recite them to 90-95% accuracy each day in the morning -- Long lasting it has been 2 consecutive mornings by now, I usually recite them after meals where I need to rest and can't don much anyways.

Anyways, so I write out some Self-forgiveness out according to the R&R which is a release. Before I thought just speaking them out should be 'ok' and I never actually really look at them and write them out on the PC.

This morning the thoughts are much dissipated, but you have to be self-honest really honestly forgiving yourself for the points that I dis-regard existence as me and from there clean my points and find out the desires why I want to do that in my thoughts. Bernard call these back chats -- That really already alleviating these thoughts. These thoughts are so vivid and I am quite sure if I don't deal with them properly it would get worse to an degree that I would Act them out. Which I was lost(still working on my way out) to masturbation and energy and 'action' movies so much into my mind that I cannot even control myself. When I was in high school I just kept reading Japanese comic books and pursuing the stimulants the bloody scenes and I just read more and more. You know when you were a child I don't remember did I know how to masturbate back then, I shouldn't have started yet. Back then I don't know and I just it feels like I am 'alive' apparently I got to a higher stage actually it's all energy.

So it feels good extremely comfortable for being me again, I still need to walk my process of changing myself bit by bit in application until these characteristics are not inside my essence anymore. So I am/need to be aware in every moments to remind me: Don't have these thoughts again, if I have thoughts they don't just 'entertain' me if I don't fulfill these thoughts (Bernard explained before) I would have to come back in another Life and 'fulfill' these thoughts because we are all one and equal, including the thoughts. You think about it means you did it already, except if self-forgive properly, the thoughts keeps floating out is an alarm: Hey they are walking their way to manifest in your real life -- In space and time continuum , if you change your mind and don't want them better do something about them before it's too late and they manifested.

9:54 am.

I am being myself no cutting my tongue thoughts or want to cut my penis or piece my eyes thoughts. I still have an 'impression/imprint' of checking do I think about those thoughts again, and the (four count) breathe assist me of staying here and not into my mind wandering around.

Have talked to Bernard about Memorizing stuff

8:26 p.m I was reading MayaR's chat with Bernard and I also re-read Bernard said people that do not blog efficiently are never a good supporter anyway and would change/detour to other little things. So I am 'forcing' myself although English is not my mother language, I am not as fluent as those Desteni bilingual chapss(like Marlen, Vicktor) I am going to write a bit. Writing bit by bit also a prove that I really care about this world this earth that I am here to contribute myself to make a difference. Yes, according to current plan it would take 20 years 6 years beginning to start in politics. But I am serious in getting things done it's just at this moment I am overwhelmed with lots of training and stuffs and I don't quite have time to fix the OS yet, due to viruses. For I-process I need to learn like Adobe after effects I mean, my most prioritized goal here is to get a grip on the software sales training and I am doing my best at it, then 'hopefully' I can get one or two sales on it.

I talked to Bernard about how he can assist us on memorizing things and he said the memory is how we think it is. It is true that I thought I was old, I never did well in school, it is like my life was programmed to never succeed and I fear and lack the confidence in I can be successful. Also the children learning software assist to me quite a lot. Even today I still remember the script word by word and I have only been working on it for 10 days It's amazing but of course I told my brother about it and his wife just said: well if you are not a big company and if it really works then the government would be using it already. Always skeptic and just trust brand name's credibility.

I was worrying a lot. Yes, worrying because I failed so many times in the past that many things don't work out on me, almost like whatever I planned very seldomly things will turn out good on me and I started to worry things at the beginning I would be very enthusiastic and then when it didn't turn out the way I want I would want to give up or start to worry is it the right track am I getting it right? It is so difficult that how I am going to do it? lots of worries and I though because with all sort of negative emotions I want to return to normal feel comfortable so what did I do? I complain and winning and speak it all out thought it is a release. Yes it was a release for a split moment then I didn't know I am just creating myself through my words. This worry this thing I can almost feel it inside me. It has becomes a habit an instinct that I see things as persimmistic. No I can't succeed it's not going to make it and I rather save my breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry and think it is not going to succeed and I would rather save my breathe.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to give to actually do it and learn from my experiences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to reply on my mind and think my mind is god and believing in it's prediction not realizing it is common sense and actually do it and learn how to adjust that is going to work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel comfortable as long as I worry then I am protecting myself and I have a bigger chance of succeed through worrying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think without worrying then I would just go crazy and do wild things that could cause me into lots of troubles even killing myself not realize that I should use common sense to guide me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use worry as an substitution for love and when I am worry then I feel safe and comfort just like being loved.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel not doing means I won't make mistakes and don't act is the safest act.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I don't want to face failure and learn from my failure and adjust myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think once I fail I will always keep failing and I will not change myself to adapt to my environment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel embarrassed about failure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself do not want to find out whether my plans work or not so I don't have a chance of needing to face failure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not eager to change myself in facing my environment and failure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I am perfect and defending my ego and not willing to change myself.



Within seeing me starts worrying and winning I stop and breath and remind myself winning worrying will only make things worse and make my beingness worse through my words.

Within seeing me don't want to act want to save my breathe and not acting trusting my mind's calculation I stop and breathe and remind myself it is through actually doing that I can learn from real life-experience cases and learn through failure and I adjust my course.

Within seeing me don't want to change me or embarrassed for failure I stop and breathe and remind myself there is nothing that does not change Life is always changing the only thing that do not change is oneness and equality.

10:04 pm

Do you want to Make lots of Money in our End times

12:24am, so as Bernard said: it is about how to promote Desteni I-process. In the monetary way because it's so shocking true that Bernard shows us -- the public don't care about how to clean themselves through self-forgiveness, no -- That's why nobody joins. So for anyone looking for an way out here is your chance -- Go study, google Desteni I-process. Find out how you can make quite some(actually it's a lot) of money through the I-process, if they approve you.

I definitely agree with Bernard that the world system is ending -- Just look at the governments that have Never found out what is the real problem that has been causing the financial collapses in the world and I-process is your chance to make your living through -- Invest 100 euro per month -- Learn the materials -- Recruit and assist more people -- Your get Reward -- You Invest(Contribute) again.

The whole concept is Buy the product -> Use the product -> Contribute(buy) again. You can only recruit 10 buddies into your team -- Over the Quota/Limit you have to assign them to someone who don't have any/have less than 10 buddies in their team. The point is stick close to this 10 team member you assist them through promoting acquire their own 10 buddies. Each person can only have 10 buddies/members in their team so choose wisely. A suggestion would be someone that like you admire your works. So know the members well before recruiting them into your own team.

Now the most important part -- How do you make money through this? As far as I know, you take a certain percentage of monthly investments from the people that are below you, so if you have a group of 100 fine you receive a fixed percentage from all these 100 people, if your group(including all those below you) have 500 fine, 1000 great -- That's how you make money(we wouldn't say profit because at the end like 20years later it all go back to Equal Money System).

So it would take approximately 3-4 years to enlarge your group, through promoting your product, sharing yourself.

For further details google: Desteni I process

How I am doing this week

8:35pm, pushing myself to do some writings. I have been keep working and keep working on the Technotutor presentation and everyday is full of stuffs that I need to work things out. I am not sure if I am diligent but I feel like man! the problems that I am facing is like an ice berg, how am I going to do it? How do I approach it? I tried door knocking and my knees was hurt and I couldn't handle it at all. I was just doing it for one and half hour and my body already feel bad. I need to direct myself so how can I direct myself efficiently.

Best for all -- a point that I have missed and reluctant to do it somehow because it imply that there would be no more self-interest or self-enjoyment(lol I/we need to see about this point), no more self-interested sex or masturbation or energetic feelings but once I heard Bernard said: after you die it would be ultimate test of whether you can give up desires(self-interest) and doing everything based on best for all else you are not re-birthed yet. Then all of a sudden I understand one thing, all these self-forgiveness what I am doing here my process is just one thing -- to reprogram myself into one thing that is doing everything for best for all, since everyone everything are me. That is what I need to do. Changing as much as I can in my essence to program myself into acting what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear of accepting act in best for all then I cannot have feelings or masturbation again because they might not fit into best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to obsessed into the old plastic model kits geometric feelings and thinking that is fun and I can't have it within what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge that act in best for all is no fun.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that best for all is the best approach because everything in existence is me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only care about what I can feel and get but disregard everything else in existence and not acting in what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to do nothing and just cuddle in doing nothing or do as least as possible instead of self-forgive my points that do not fit into what is best for all and change myself.

Within seeing I want to cuddle and stay the same I stop and breath and remind myself everything in existence is me and act in best for all is the best strategy for everything in existence.