Self forgiveness on Despotism

My primary pattern point on despotism: Feeling list, H, humble.

On Y/N am I not humble enough: Y

On Y/N is the humble on despotism referring to me too weak: N

On Y/N am I too humble: N

On Y/N is the word humble referring to I want to be viewed as humble: Y

Self-forgiveness, talk about humble, write about humble, breathe through despotism

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting people to see me as humble.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting people to praise me a humble and knowledge person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself want to pretend I am humble having a good reputation to cover up my despotism.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to look at things from a starting point of what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to have power and control others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself want to become despotism and control manipulate others as self for fun.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to be humble in others and treating everyone as self.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanted to get into power and become a powerful controlling figure and everyone fearing obeying of me.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to want to experience like a king and being a despotism person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself treating despotism as a competition and want to get as much power as possible and make people obey me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself don't care about all others and only make myself as long as I have power as long as I can manipulate others.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to consider what others want and I laugh at them when they cannot disobey me and I have absolute power in controlling them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself only to feel safe when I have absolute power in my hands.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to accept what other's ideas for best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanted to be praised in good reputation and being a great noble figure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanted to play with powers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to be despotism person and so I can express my despotism to show everyone how powerful I am.

On Y/N do I need to be more specific on the point on humble on despotism? Y

ON ID/Change the number of primary pattern points for Despotism: 13

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as I have power then I can be rude and do whatever I like and give everyone hell.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see I am everything everyone as self and want to be rude to everyone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself thinking rude is a sport for me to experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use rude as an exertion and see it as a take it for granted way exert on my mom.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself using rude to treat children because I was impatience and they apparently can't do anything to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself thinking when I have power to exert my rudeness then I am living happily.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that when I am rude to others that are subject to me then I am creating my future as I would be treated as rude.

Within seeing the pattern of want to rude and exert on others I stop and breathe and realize I spite my rude on others means I permit others to smack rude on me in my future.

Within seeing the pattern of people being rude to me I stop and breathe and walk away don't live in other people's rudeness.

(Despotism 2)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior when being despotised.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself want to propagate my opinions as worth more than others and force them to accept me through despotism.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to enjoy arguing and want to through arguing to defend my ideas and just being stubborn on myself and don't want to change myself.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize I do not want to change because I still want to enslave others as me as self through living my old days.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself only care about myself in the old days and do not consider any others in existence into my consideration.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself realizing I desperately wanted to become a ruler to employ my power and rule everything in existence but I am actually creating my future of being ruled being suppressed being crushed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself supporting my ego and thinking my ideas worth more than others so everyone is existence should willingly obey and listen to me not realizing I am part of self part of existence.

On Indicator/Change the number of primary patter points on my despotism: 13, 2nd test 7

On Y/N have I clear any primary pattern points on my despotism: Y

I want to save time by not MC to check for primary pattern points but it frequently happens when I do my best to write a lits of self-forgiveness that I can't clear any primary pattern points further - that my writing was close to nothing. Makes me wonder did I really have that much of primary pattern points? Were I correct on MC? Even when I look into myself and I still even get one primary pattern point clear?

Sneaky:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in sneaky and thinking I must keep in low profile to survive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I can use sneaky to take advantage and strike others and thinking that is exciting as rewarding.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think when I am sneaky I am excited and can shock and surprise others not realizing I am shocking myself and others as self as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think living sneaky are the most efficient way of handling Life as living.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself feeling sneaking like a snake like a sniper is exciting as a sport.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to hide the truth of me through sneaking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to use being sneaky and no one on earth would know the truth of me inside me not realizing everything is all known among existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself thinking I was cunning I was smart in living myself as sneaky.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I use excuses that other humans cannot be trusted so I have to be sneaky.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself thinking I am too weak and cannot being honest and opened in front of all in existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself feeling comfortable pretending I could feel safe and my secret truth of me would be locked and hidden through sneaky.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself always live in as sneakiness that I can strike others much faster not realizing doing that I would be creating/giving permission asking others to strike me.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed to live in self-honesty and being honest to others as self instead of living sneakiness.

Within seeing the pattern of want to strike want to sneak on other's back I stop remind myself the extreme uncomfortable of sneakiness and realize everyone everything are me as self.

After writing all those self-forgiveness above I feel like a great release that all those points that I have been carrying inside inside my core essence my nature about sneakiness that it's like I had been way too long carrying these sneaky characteristics inside me that I have been living as sneakiness. The self-forgiveness really release these points inside me that I wasn't even aware of because the sneakiness had become a part of my nature - I just know I couldn't stand in front of others of all of existence and this habit of sneakiness had already become me. It is like I can have a fresh start and through continuous corrective application to start being honest and standing up in front of all of existence and don't participate in sneakiness again.