I masturbate again

1:13, just finish sending email to a prospector. It is difficult to get a deal or get leads, everybody just want you suffocate you to death so they can have more clients, especially amongst the chinese cicrles. I mean they are just Robots and think in robots -- Always competition and never Oneness and Equality or Co-operation, or work for Best for all. It just doesn't exist within them.

I wonder why would I/we react to young people's naked vessels and get excited. I mean it is just flesh, just something red or white then I/we are aroused and certain color or factric or certain species of people then we got a negative feeling. This morning I was like got aroused because I saw some naked pictures and I was like well Sunette said even thinking or participate in the mind or energy is the same as masturbation rejuvenating the mind so what the hell, how about I masturbate for one time and see if I am controlled by masturbation. Totally forgot about the would get close to death experience through masturbation/Sex. People if your not Destonian you would see lots of people dying or having stroke just because of masturbation or sex. I am quite sure Bernard won't lie and it's going to happen.

So I was concentraing on the physical, forgot not to just concentrate on how I feel inside the head. You know, when you masturbate feeling is a major part. After the masturbation I already felt my memory has damaged/degraded to a certain degree. From now no, I definitely will not get horny as frequent as before -- it hurts my memory, if it's not Bernard I didn't know it at all. Basically I was boring and want to get some excitements some nice feelings and not using my Breath Orgasm to prospone my desire to masturbate. I mean I was just working everyday and there are tons of things that I need to prepare work with, arrange, problem sovling etc. My bed, the moment I can sleep on my bed really is the most bliss moment that I longed for everyday. I totally underestimate how a REALTOR® or a sales person need to be trained go through to even have a deal start.

Basically the good feeling part is only the building up before ejeculation. Then the mind feeling comes and it doesn't feeling good. The Breath Orgasm way is really once and for all style of handling desire for masturbation. I tried to not associate getting excited associating to feelings or just certain part of muscles, I tried to get excited just by rubbing my hands or my thights it didn't work at this moment. I am not excited or having an erection. I am still exploring but definitely masturbation has serious consequences that at this moment I still feel it is not worth it. Got to find a way to get excited, lol maybe a female companion or I am looking for ways to get excited not just by masturbation. I mean working working and working under pressure everyday is not the way -- I can't withstand it I haven't even started yet. I still haven't properly prospected yet.

Ok, 1:37am Talk soon.