Breathless as a Realtor

7:16pm. Haven't write for a long time now(I was just writing Self-forgiveness) when I was in high school I quite enjoy writing. So I was laughing periodically but the fact is the problems that I am facing is totally out of my expectations. I am now paying 50% of my commission for mentoring and things look more complicated than I anticipate -- it was not that simple, but my mentor said it is simple and he will show me. I still remember what Bernard said about his experiences on people opening schools. I am quite overwhelmed by this REALTOR® thing(it's the rule that we have to make it Capitalized and with the alt+0174 symbol).

Of course I worried a lot or expect a lot from acquiring a client. It is like I was working for three weeks now but there is no progress so far. Everyday there are tons of things that I need to handle. Maybe I didn't find an efficient way to look for answers like there are tons of things, right, now I need to google why the CMYK color on photoshop doesn't look the same look awful in my picture viewer program, it looks different even on picture and fax viewer(XP standard viewing program). This preoccupy you 3 hours, that preoccupy you 4 hours then your whole day is gone. (sight) not to mention doing vloging bloging and use the vocabulary builder(Desteni Education Software) I still haven't used it today -- I use it everyday.

I mean like most people maybe as what you are reading in front of the PC right now -- think selling houses are easy, I mean yes -- that was what I think. Whenever it involves a client asking you Why? Why should I buy this Why should I choose you all these Whys -- that means you have to pull everything out all the whys locations crime rate in the neighborhood land value amenities around(I still haven't touched this area yet) what else? price? repairs/maintenance -- you name it and it doesn't guarantee the buyer or seller will return have any actions. So you might not see but you can "feel" there are lots of things that involve. 7:38, I better go drink some tea, have some shrimps dinner and come back maybe come back and finish it a little bit later.

9:28. Ok, write a little bit more. I remember when I was a teenager in USA I want to go to a field I saw people I don't know should I use the word "playing" they were kiting they were playing kite, it was in Wisconsin autumn time I wasn't happy I mean how can you be happy living in a foster family -- people are not destonian they including myself the sole starting point of doing anything is greediness -- I want how can I get more money. Even today that I am working as a realtor facing all these questions of how do I make people agrees it is time to buy and sell for greediness and more money. Yes, Living Oneness and equality, living Equality but you can't just expect people to support you for equality. It doesn't work that way I need money and I need to pay Destonian to work for me. I don't know how Bernard made it -- all by himself doing business to make money and he did it. He is enthusiastic to everyone everything.

I always look for a short cut -- an efficient way to do things but that's also from the mind. What I learned so far is what is inside the mind is not real and not reliable -- tends to mislead and need to adjust the paths the handlings. Maybe I think too much and project too much about the clients - they haven't response yet then why should I worry too much. Because of fear of loss.

You really need to use common sense to see how we have screwed ourselves each of us painfully by greed. All those that are sitting at the tip of of the capitalistic enslavement pyramids that at the moment they don't care about anything but their money and keep their money rolling and how they can enjoy their Life. I saw a rich woman that totally just dress like upper class and driving a porche van. Disregarding everything thinking she is queen and all people on the street are just slaves. And I wanted to be like her that's why she was manifested? It is difficult to accept that I mean, I didn't see it. But I will program myself fit within oneness and equality -- no matter how long I am going to live on earth or do I exist after death.

I mean you can't see what I am facing at this moment. I don't even have time to take care of my laundry or cooking. I am like sitting 7hrs non-stop in front of my PC each day. Sleeping a few more hours are my entertainments.

Ok, talk later 10:15