Just come back from Realesate lecture

9:53 too early for bed too tired for making vlogs so listening to Sunette's - Self change through living Not Miracles. I have been doing things simultaneously of course lol it's not as efficient as only doing one of them especially while listening working to understand and express through bloging - really have to stay in (4 count) breathe. It's almost like you can't think but totally rely on common sense.

I found out the students pre-realtors and rookie realtors are quite different than veteran realtors, only one thing in common - most if not all are motivated by greediness by how can I get more money through buying and selling houses. lol if they know what how cancer is formed I doubt if they would still approach their lives this way. Inside the class I found no consideration for the world for earth or even other humans that are enslaved - like I am the only one that put the glass back for people to collect for cleaning. It's like their whole world is how to protect myself feeling distant to others not willing to initiate a chat but it's ok if I approach them. Not even much of a teaming up and long term career expectations here. I mean to me - it's if I can't even break the ice to initiate a chat then I would automatically disqualified to ring door bells in my neighborhood because these are realtors that won't bite or we have common interests and I told myself if I can't get pass this I can't do cold canvassing. It's really tired after class, I thought I was going there only to "enjoy" someone talking, well - it's enjoying how people from the boards lecture sharing their experiences demonstrating to you, if you use Common Sense you can see quite a lot and see how to adopt their strategies into your own application, of course need to re-read the text when I come back.

My mom picked me up and she always see her as always correct and always have tons of frustration and angryness inside her and use every means possible to exert on me or anyone subject to her - in this case it's me because I am financially dependent on her. I know if I am not living participate through my mind consciousness system then I wouldn't feel annoyance at all she is just shooting sound to me(as Jack explained) but I don't know how. I am working to stay in my breath but it's still annoying to an extend until I can't stand it anymore - really don't want to participate in my mind and what triggers her outburst are just as Jack said totally minor stuffs - she is just using whatever possible as an outlet to exert.

I met a realtor in class Linda. Most people in this reality I found they are extremely like her - she had double degree in medical like a doctor or something specified in trauma, earned lots of money and until too late that she had a car accident and become crippled. I mean nature is coming after humans weather animal kingdoms germs and viruses are aiming targeting at the humans and it's still at the prelude, early stage of what is targeting at the humans yet, some if not few would change aware realize that we are all oneness and equal with everything! in existence until it is too late - they listen they learn only after they die! when it is already too late.

I am exhausted in going to class and it's only day 1. I still have 4 days to go, man.

I only know one thing: I walk work my way in participating Heaven on Earth, learning how to become part of Life how to become part of existence what self-responsibilities how to cope with everything in existence how to "love" (now this is real love) everything as part of self. How to release self-forgive my past and become a better person that fit that function within the first principle - everything we are all from the same origin and we are exactly each other but playing different roles taking part in existence playing give and take in existence.

To end what we are currently living in this competing with each other, and all sorts of these extreme abusing disregarding each others the animals nature to earth - to 95% of the majority it is hell and being enslaved only 5% of those in power having tons of money are having everything through money to enslave 95% the majority.

It is not difficult to see when you apply Common Sense that the sole only - what is supporting 95% of majority to continue enslaved day by day is "thin air hope" - hoping dreaming one day it's my turn! I can everybody has free-choice! everyone got equal opportunity(lol else it would be riot if they found out it's actually the elites printing all the money as paper and enslaving everyone) to get rich - that one day just maybe be one day if I continue my living as hell, I could have chance to become the 5% master enslaving everyone with tons of money.

Greediness definitely is the root cause of all problems on earth - it's Common Sense.

Self forgiveness on Despotism

My primary pattern point on despotism: Feeling list, H, humble.

On Y/N am I not humble enough: Y

On Y/N is the humble on despotism referring to me too weak: N

On Y/N am I too humble: N

On Y/N is the word humble referring to I want to be viewed as humble: Y

Self-forgiveness, talk about humble, write about humble, breathe through despotism

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting people to see me as humble.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting people to praise me a humble and knowledge person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself want to pretend I am humble having a good reputation to cover up my despotism.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to look at things from a starting point of what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to have power and control others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself want to become despotism and control manipulate others as self for fun.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to be humble in others and treating everyone as self.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanted to get into power and become a powerful controlling figure and everyone fearing obeying of me.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to want to experience like a king and being a despotism person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself treating despotism as a competition and want to get as much power as possible and make people obey me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself don't care about all others and only make myself as long as I have power as long as I can manipulate others.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to consider what others want and I laugh at them when they cannot disobey me and I have absolute power in controlling them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself only to feel safe when I have absolute power in my hands.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to accept what other's ideas for best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanted to be praised in good reputation and being a great noble figure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanted to play with powers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to be despotism person and so I can express my despotism to show everyone how powerful I am.

On Y/N do I need to be more specific on the point on humble on despotism? Y

ON ID/Change the number of primary pattern points for Despotism: 13

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as I have power then I can be rude and do whatever I like and give everyone hell.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see I am everything everyone as self and want to be rude to everyone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself thinking rude is a sport for me to experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use rude as an exertion and see it as a take it for granted way exert on my mom.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself using rude to treat children because I was impatience and they apparently can't do anything to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself thinking when I have power to exert my rudeness then I am living happily.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that when I am rude to others that are subject to me then I am creating my future as I would be treated as rude.

Within seeing the pattern of want to rude and exert on others I stop and breathe and realize I spite my rude on others means I permit others to smack rude on me in my future.

Within seeing the pattern of people being rude to me I stop and breathe and walk away don't live in other people's rudeness.

(Despotism 2)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior when being despotised.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself want to propagate my opinions as worth more than others and force them to accept me through despotism.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to enjoy arguing and want to through arguing to defend my ideas and just being stubborn on myself and don't want to change myself.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize I do not want to change because I still want to enslave others as me as self through living my old days.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself only care about myself in the old days and do not consider any others in existence into my consideration.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself realizing I desperately wanted to become a ruler to employ my power and rule everything in existence but I am actually creating my future of being ruled being suppressed being crushed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself supporting my ego and thinking my ideas worth more than others so everyone is existence should willingly obey and listen to me not realizing I am part of self part of existence.

On Indicator/Change the number of primary patter points on my despotism: 13, 2nd test 7

On Y/N have I clear any primary pattern points on my despotism: Y

I want to save time by not MC to check for primary pattern points but it frequently happens when I do my best to write a lits of self-forgiveness that I can't clear any primary pattern points further - that my writing was close to nothing. Makes me wonder did I really have that much of primary pattern points? Were I correct on MC? Even when I look into myself and I still even get one primary pattern point clear?

Sneaky:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in sneaky and thinking I must keep in low profile to survive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I can use sneaky to take advantage and strike others and thinking that is exciting as rewarding.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think when I am sneaky I am excited and can shock and surprise others not realizing I am shocking myself and others as self as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think living sneaky are the most efficient way of handling Life as living.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself feeling sneaking like a snake like a sniper is exciting as a sport.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to hide the truth of me through sneaking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to use being sneaky and no one on earth would know the truth of me inside me not realizing everything is all known among existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself thinking I was cunning I was smart in living myself as sneaky.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I use excuses that other humans cannot be trusted so I have to be sneaky.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself thinking I am too weak and cannot being honest and opened in front of all in existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself feeling comfortable pretending I could feel safe and my secret truth of me would be locked and hidden through sneaky.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself always live in as sneakiness that I can strike others much faster not realizing doing that I would be creating/giving permission asking others to strike me.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed to live in self-honesty and being honest to others as self instead of living sneakiness.

Within seeing the pattern of want to strike want to sneak on other's back I stop remind myself the extreme uncomfortable of sneakiness and realize everyone everything are me as self.

After writing all those self-forgiveness above I feel like a great release that all those points that I have been carrying inside inside my core essence my nature about sneakiness that it's like I had been way too long carrying these sneaky characteristics inside me that I have been living as sneakiness. The self-forgiveness really release these points inside me that I wasn't even aware of because the sneakiness had become a part of my nature - I just know I couldn't stand in front of others of all of existence and this habit of sneakiness had already become me. It is like I can have a fresh start and through continuous corrective application to start being honest and standing up in front of all of existence and don't participate in sneakiness again.

9096
9125
9120

Very tired haven't relaxed for weeks - kept busy preparing for being a realtor

So 11:36 using this bit of moment to write a little bit. Basically I still need to go through the flyer but I don't really have much idea on how to handle it and I am tired - so writing a few paragraphs instead.

Have finished recoding a vlog about chinese New Year - the wishing you successful while all 95% of majority fail in their attempt for greediness and you can become a greedy master why? see my vlog on - Common sense in Chinese New Year.

I was practicing my smiling all this week and it was horrible - Joe Ku and Kelly has assisted me quite a lot - Joe's on technical skills and Kelly on practical skills and feedbacks. When I was practicing trying very hard to smile Kelly was laughing all along, makes me wonder if my facial expression was really that hilarious. I totally agree with Joe that I don't need to tell him as he said: there is nothing that worth smiling in this world - used to be but now there is real "hope" - Equal Money system but yes currently there is nothing that you can smile on. He also said you need a big fake smile to get a sales as a head start. Really had share some technical skills with me that assist me in determining myself - I need to make my business card photo look nice else I wouldn't be able to do this realtor thing really.

They approve my license and have charged me today, I am paying close to $200 per month, time and money is ticking and I really got pressure from it. I still haven't prepared everything yet - like the business cards and flyers many things need to be handled and arranged, quite a few accidents happened.

When I came back two days ago I found out I can't sell smiles because I was having difficulties in smiling as Joe said it's from my mouth's muscles structures so I can't give a big bright smile. So I was pondering practicing - no matter how hard I try it's still extremely far from what a bright realtor smile should be so what should I do? I was using Commonsense Sense to look at myself my body how to cope with a solution. Then, a sudden idea why I say sudden because I have considered using my eyes to smile but that didn't work neither. This sudden or Common Sense idea is how about I express or sell my Eyes? How? of course I don't have big eyes not like my mom but how about a mischievous look? you know smart but not cunning look more on a smart but mischievous look? I practice that a couple of times look at the mirror - it works! so that's how I switched my approach and have it done within 40mins. Of course I keep on practicing it testing myself whether I can recreate it because - the problem is sometimes I can generate ok looking smiles but! I can't recreate them again because I don't know how I did that! So it is pointless if I cannot recreate at the studio - of course, lots of practice in the studio's toilet while I was waiting for the photographer.

So that's pretty much what I have experienced so far. It's pretty good that I haven't masturbated since last time should be a couple of days ago and I am ok with the physical body and using Breath Orgasm to distribute any unbalanced energy inside me - actually there are much to experience besides of energy feelings from masturbation. Like I am more into the physical body like I can feel the Hereness in my physical body.

Also, it seems I have finally got a few pounds released from me! it's a great relief, for one year I kept increase in weight and right now there are signs that it's finally going down! I remember resonance said I can only wait for it to dissipate, if I have a chance to ask Sunette or Resonance I very very very much like to know what is the cause of me continuously gaining weight for two times! in two separate periods, so I can avoid and won't did what I had done before and I was not aware what it was! I think it might be yarning for relationship because that's what I don't have totally had no experience on.

ok, 12:08 talk later.

Settle with Joe on doing a flyer design

2:33pm just finish lunch(actually it was my breakfast) so I am pushing myself to not rest and use the time to write because I really don't have much time to handle all the tasks. Setting up a business takes a lot of money and effort - you really need to make sure how money is spent and who's doing what, what should be done in what sequence, what questions and how should them be asked in the emails, waiting for replies, how much time do I have - everything must be arranged, monitored in sequence, else anyone of them screw up then the whole project would postpone - quite a lot of pressure it's like taking care of a baby - how can I improve this? how should I arrange that and the realtor business is just sitting there giving you no response at all. Pretty much feeling I am alone and have no one to consult. Nowadays if you don't give money/advantages to the people in the matrix/general public nobody would assist/help you, not even my mom. I mean, look at how greediness and "I want more money I want comfortable living but I don't want to give I just want to take rents/bank interests" has become our core our sole purpose of existing.

Originally I was talking to Kelly she doesn't have time and she said I could talk to Joe. At first I wasn't very confident in whether Joe can deliver the job done because he doesn't have graphics design working experience and Valentine does own a studio have solid experience on designing. I am still waiting for Joe's draft to see how it would turn out. I asked Joe because I know he had financial problems that he was in debt and could use some help - of course they both promise me I can pay them after I got my first commission, my mom is totally pissed off frustrated nagging annoyance about me spending $200 just for designing a card. At this moment I am totally subject to her financial support - it's annoying that she even told me to use my dig-cam to take pictures and just put it on the card, she even said in the past photo like my relatives, who are agents also, she said looked at them they don't even put their photos on the card. I wanted to say: I don't even fuicking want to explain it to her. she's short sighted and only caring about every dollar that is not even spending no she's not spending - she is "investing" on me and hoping to "harvest" sometime in the future.

So the schedule would get everything prepared within two weeks(that would be optimistic) and get my licence within one to two weeks and start knocking on people's door and see whether they would ask me to sell their houses for them. I mean this is already taking every bit of my strength to arrange everything to get start - can I handle SRA when I got some money to rejoin the Desteni courses? I would be breathless.

Just talked to Snow and Phoan yesterday. I enjoy talking to Destonian very much. I mean I am totally isolated here in Vancouver and no Destonians here no support only me and my mom. I mean I just like chatting - chatting is exciting and it's nice to exchange what I realized from Desteni for all these two and a half year and they to some extent can get something out from my words - in understanding Desteni and how I walked my path. At this moment still not many Chinese are participating. I just enjoy talking with especially Destonian I mean these are the only people on earth that understand me we all have common goal as pushing for Oneness Equality - some understand for bringing Equal Money and have Heaven on Earth.

I mean I found no other (expect the split second of masturbation ecstasy) more enjoyable thing than chatting than sharing happiness sharing assisting each other through chatting - I mean I am so excited so happy in chatting that it's like I am saying to another me: saying how are you doing? how have you been living/experiencing yourself. I mean isn't that what we are here for? except for we are living in a deceiving nobody but ourselves, that typically in Capitalism, only a handful few controlling dominating and enslaving all the 95% of majority public enslaving everyone below your Rank/position in the enslavement pyramid.

Isn't it Common Sense that you should Vote for a Party Vote for someone that Totally Devoting themselves(like us Destonians) in World/Oneness Equality for years have been following Desteni materials contributing and supporting and most importantly! Vowed to Not just Take Care of You! Voters! Shouldn't you vote for someone that Vowed to Take Care of Each and Everyone on Earth Equally?! Shouldn't you Vote for: We Share Responsibilities Happiness and Pain globally! evenly! Not just day dreaming everyday desperately struggling under the name of greediness and survival and just Hoping! one day - I can become Kings! Should we realize - as long as your willing to use your Common Sense that We don't have to Live like this! We don't have to suffer we are Accepting and Allowing ourselves we Deliberately Making ourselves Suffer! We are Deliberately Accepting Allowing and Permitting 95% of general public suffer living in Pain in every second?

I mean let's use common sense and look at every Political Party every Politicians All of them! what they promise you to make you vote for them? more money, better living(where does better comes from? who's providing this "better" to you? who would be compromised? - nowadays most people are as long as I don't see it as long as it's in Africa a small village do the factory works or somewhere in South America a little poor village then I don't care!), more Jobs(actually it's got nothing doing with Jobs! I mean fuick most people don't look at the word more Jobs! they only look at it means I can get more Money into my bank accounts), more holidays(again it is better living but who takes care of the garbages on holidays?), better medical treatments(actually I don't even need to explain it - better medical is just a fairy tale), more benefit for union/workers(what is the difference between Unions and Capitalist Owners? I don't see much difference - both act and foundation on Greediness) that's pretty much and they never claim they would support the lowest layer at the bottom of the pyramid! because they know better than anyone that you can't! you got to have Slaves(class) in the pyramid else who is going to do the hard laboring work for those dressing business attires!? All those above Bullshits can summarized into One Sentence - I as the Candidate promise to fulfill your Greediness! Let's put aside the serious consequence of you accepting and allowing Greediness into you and after you die. Ask yourself: Did these Politicians Ever Ever kept their Promise? not for long - that is lasting only from 6 months to 1 year and that's it! Ask yourself, discuss it with your parents and you will know I am telling the truth.

Why Vote for a party that keeps take turns to lie(no matter which party they are no matter what they profess) and Never keep they promise(because for their own Greediness)? Why Vote for a party that Confess and Legally Accept and Allow the majority of public as Slaves within Capitalism? Why Vote for a party that Legalize "Wheel of Fortune" life-style(we are not even talking about the Elite at the back controlling/printing all the money)? These are and look at the power of seeing things in simple Common Sense.

On Y/N is my liveliness referring to I need to be more participate in Equality? N

On Y/N is my liveliness referring to I was selfish and only live in living of energy? Y

I mean what I have been living in the past is just masturbating - I though I was not hurting anyone I was just closing my door and doing my own "business" and I live that energy as Life. Even today I am still learning/working my way not to be controlled by sex system - when you find Life cannot live without masturbation then you are subjected/controlled by sex system. To my understanding it's not Not to masturbate but don't to be controlled by masturbation/sex system. I was living excitement, I was living positive high energy that I dreamed of going to wonderlands you know those tons of how do you call those? playground machines that can shake me up you know roller coasters and all those high energy and then I am living then I am happy.

I didn't know that when I was experiencing high/happy energy that someone need to experience the suffering/unhappy energy and I was totally obsessed with energy/masturbation. That without energy/masturbation then I am not living then there was no purpose of for my enjoyment - that I totally just defined myself as masturbation and energy that I have ignored that I enjoy other things too like chatting with others that I find I am alive in chatting with others. I mean it is either masturbation of chatting is my Most Most enjoying activity in existence(if I may allow to say so). I mean there is still the "desire" wanted to experience energy I mean I am ok, if I don't look at caucasians naked body(I am kind of like testing myself do I still see them as a picture just and having reactions or am I seeing them as bunch of cells) I mean it's definitely that the world is a whole lot more than just energy and masturbation. I limited myself only in experiencing energy in the past and it wasn't even me experiencing it was me through the system experiencing the energy. Energy is just a form of experiencing myself and maybe just maybe when I explore keep chatting with Destonians, I would love chatting more than masturbation or energy.

MC - On Y/N Do I need to be more specific on liveliness? N

Ok, 5:11 pm, talk later.

Stinginess - it's still inside me! not self-forgiven yet

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize self-forgiveness is totally give up what do not fit within oneness equality and totally change myself.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to totally unconditionally give up my desire for pictorial ecstasy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself do not want to give up what I possess.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself do not want to give up my money.

What is my primary pattern point on Equality?

G 479-523, 481-490, 487 R - Generous

On Y/N is it I am not generous enough? Y

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be stinginess and want to keep every penny to me and thinking stinginess is protecting me and my future.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to think generous is only for those that had done evil and want to feel better inside them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself thinking nobody care about me then why should I care for others not realizing that everyone is just me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself only see what my eyes see and ignore receiving through I give first to those that needed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel hurt/pain when I need to give my money to others like Desteni.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to proclaim donating to Desteni but worry that I will feel upset for donating my money out.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to use common sense and trust my common sense in donating to Desteni.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fuicking care about anyone and only care do I have enough money for survival.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel uncomfortable when I need to donate to people that in need.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself using excuses that charity organizations are selfish self-interest and don't donate instead of find the best way to assist others while I can donate.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to take max reward and pay the least whenever I offer assistance to anyone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself doing if you don't offer me any benefit in exchange than I won't give a damn care about you.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself do not want to suffering do not want to lose money do not want service to anyone but must with a price.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to access everything as a whole and being generous and do what is best for all because everyone is me as part of Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself afraid of once I got pay less or giving service to anyone for free then I will be treated/rewarded unfairly not realizing everything everyone in doing or not do there are consequences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge/think there is no consequence no justice on earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use excuses as tons of faker approach me and I need to maximize my profits to compensate for the possible lose.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself classifying all children starving are being using by faker syndicates to beg for money for profit that I do not find ways participating in fix the earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself thinking why should I care anyone when I must utmost protect myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself thinking stinginess is best protecting me.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize I should put my generosity as a gift to most efficiently assisting those that needed the most.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself using this world is full of fakers and suppress my generosity.

MC - Do I need to be more specific on the point Generous? N

Within seeing the pattern of don't want to be generous I stop and breathe reminding myself I need to use most efficient way and common sense way to give to be generous.

Within seeing the pattern of reluctant to be generous I stop and breathe reminding myself as long as my common sense see it is correct and should be generous then I must be generous in that path.

Now I knew this stinginess was in me because my father is almost exactly the manifestation of stinginess. Maybe I did/accept and allow exactly just like him so I got to experience this way. I grow up in a middle wealth family and because my father is greedy and extreme stinginess, me and my brother don't have any pocket money not until when we are like over 20years old. I went to my first cinema movie when I was? 16? and it is my mom secretly gave me $2 so I can go with my classmates. While I was writing the Self-forgiveness out(this time I keep reminding myself I need to clear these totally give it up - not with a trace) and it feels a release in my solar plexus area - it's very common when writing self-forgiveness. Sunette's article assist me quite a lot in her article she point out self-forgiveness is to totally get rid of the pattern totally give it up. I just realized I wasn't totally aiming at giving every bit up, for instance to masturbation to sex I still want to obsess to it, but as Bernard said: not to be controlled by the sex system.

So after writing these quite detail self-forgiveness(to me I used half hour the best I can to write them out) I feel extremely release relax like the stinginess has been released and from now on I can actually be generous do generous acts - that else I would just experience the same stinginess pattern and later regret and kept asking why I would have such uncomfortable unhappy feelings.

Just like what I did to Valentine this morning, I know he's Destionian, he's offering me to pay him after I got my first deal - yet, automatically I felt I am paying a too much money for asking him to do the design job. There was a though of should I bargain him for $150 like that flash inside me. But to be clear it's just a pattern - no matter how much I save no matter how much money I can make - I am donating them to Desteni for Equal Money for bring forth Heaven on Earth. As Bernard's reply: money is the most efficient contribution. I have not change my starting point - it's just how to handle my patternlized personalities and at this moment MC gives me primary pattern point Generous again.

Ok, talk to you later.

Busy Busy and Busy

I overslept like eight to nine hours last night. It's 1:25pm now and I have been busy busy and busying taking care of all sort of things checking emails uploading arranging things and need to plan ahead of my realtor business. I wanted to get up early to take care of my stuffs, have many works to do but it's cold and I overslept, usually sleeping more in the winter time, actually it's lucky if I can be productive during winter time, in Vancouver it's cold here and you don't want to do much move much during the winter time - it's not that freezing cold but you know always grey in the sky, not much sunshine you don't see the sun very often.

Talked to Robert last night oh before that, let me share I just read the article on Sunette sharing her chatting with birds and a dog at the farm - it's interesting to always reading Desteni materials but I really! really don't have time to do that, until those two days that I have some time that I can do some reading - educating updating myself so I can make some vlogs - usually I would be writing out points making vlogs, practicing smiles, practicing Mandarine if I find some speakers from Taiwan or a few from China - so extremely busy but I presume it's not as busy as the guys at the farm that they say it's totally getting out of your comfort zone here I mean here we living in North America is having comfort zone living here! we have cars, gasoline electricity as power, food shelter and like me can work on Desteni stuffs but I am also preparing myself walking my way becoming a realtor - real estate here are having a bullish market I got to prepare myself quick that's why there is certain pressure on me that I need to take care of DesteniChineseTD, my vlog channels, blogs, and my realtor business that I have to be precise and correct in every steps because if I made a mistake then I would fall back a couple of days because everything like printing business cards, taking photos(and practicing smiles) everything are inter-connected with each other - if one thing postpone the whole thing would delay.

So the birds have explained that through blogging we are also creating the "new"(I presume) me that what I in essence would become as how I would live myself as. I am quite surprised that only till now - reading this article that I know why they said it's important to blog everyday - it's a creating of myself of how I want to live myself as - after efficient self-forgiveness to release our past. The very first thing that I want to create of course is Equality because what I find inside me I am missing Equality inside me - at this stage it's only still a understand a knowledge and information it's still not into me yet(also I am afraid of the tons of self-forgiveness that I need to do that at this moment I am still having difficulties in writing lots of self-forgiveness out. I mean when I see Sunette writing tons of self-forgiveness out it totally astonished me). So I need to write in Equality in applying Equality like the first thing that I need to through corrective application is taking turns - taking turns to accepting pains for what is best for all. I was afraid of pain - extremely afraid of pain(most people are) that I would very afraid of being french fries or reincarnated as chicken being killed being eaten being digested. Not to mention Bernard has said in one of the interviews that if you really participate in Equality then you would eat human meat because human are the most conscious - which did induce some fear worries into me that would we raise human for food? in the future for those that remain on earth? because for Equality it means take turns and I realize that there is always always a "Equality" Consequences - no matter I mean look we all have been trying to run away from Consequences using all sort of methods but all doesn't work! no one can run away from Consequences it's just you didn't see it - even with the Consequence of Abusing Mining Harvesting Earth Nature animals for greediness for gems diamonds - that you have Australia flooding, that you have Europe mega snow storm and it's just the prelude.

I feel I am seriously learning taking turns even if it's painful if it's for best for all then I need to accept it - it's my Equality 101 and totally fervently doing it or not do it again. I have encountered people saying: Love is the solution Love every one including your enemy including the one that you hate but as I said: talking love is cheap is meaningless. As Bernard said real love including treating everyone as Equal as you(it's not even a treating it's a fact that they are you). Real Love is in Action in Participating pushing what is best for all! the principle is quite simple - I am applying it in assisting Desteni. So I am learning accepting taking turn and Consequences for what I do and do not do in every moment.

I talked to Robert and he mentioned that it would also need to take me to the farm 1 or 2 years for preparing me, of course I was ignited. That I always want to meet Bernard and Sunette and live in what Equality is like - from photos and people from the farm sharing said it's quite lots of work but really really! heaven(I wanted to say paradise - we are not quite there yet) on earth that everyone is contributing for best for all. Of course there are many questions kind of like I want to follow Bernard around, ask questions if I got a chance, if I can get guidance from him - for I have been lost for so many years in my 40years Life that my only achievement is inside my room and masturbate - totally being controlled by the sex system - that I was not living and my time was wasted. I don't "care" how much time I left on Earth - lol at most 40 years then I almost can't walk around can't contribute to Desteni anymore and this is really my motto to stand me up to support me to sustain me to keep doing as efficiently as possible, and what Bernard said is really really true and touch/struck me inside: give (Equal Money) this to your children, and to their children and to their children and their children. So I am dedicating myself into at this moment is bringing Equal Money on earth - it's just how I can do it efficiently.

This also brings another "interesting" question I asked Bernard last night: besides of being a realtor how can I most efficiently contribute to Desteni, he replies - Money is the most efficient contribution. lol that I got it that I need to find deals I need to earn money as efficiently as possible. That's why as I said it's tried and tired that I need to both take care of realtor preparation and writing blogs and vlogging - it's not for me! really totally not - it's for Equal Money it's for Desteni it's for the if humanity survive/remain on earth for the Children to come and Everyone can finally put the burdens put the survival put the competition aside and say: I am Expressing myself I am happy everyday I laugh I smile I learn/apply how to become part of Life how to treat everyone everything as me as self as Life! If your not a Destionian yet, just consider that, picture that! what trillions over trillions of people/Lifes had dreamed of and we have a chance to Participate to bring it here on earth - that as Bernard said: those that say they want Equal Money system and do nothing is just "dreaming" for the Equal Money. You have to participate.

As always use Common Sense to see things - this would assist you a lot in understanding the Desteni materials, instead of just being a mind/ego boasting and (stupid enough) waiting for his(mostly males I don't know why) his removal through virus and germs.

So me, my bigger realization is taking turn - live in Equality smile laugh in Equality, taking self-responsibility, learning how to easier experience pain, accept pain at this moment it's a part of Life it's part of taking turn in Equality. When I see doing things as my self-responsibility within Equality within what is best for all then it's not a "sacrifice" anymore - because sacrifice only exist within self-interest only exist within the illusion of "free-choice" - there is no Free Choice, use your common sense - free choice is greedy is selfish is fuicking care about the world the universe about everyform of Life! free choice flourish in Extreme Abusing anyone Except you! but the fact is - everyone is exactly you, that's why there is Consequence - your not hurting someone or something - your hurting "you".

Ok, quite surprised I have so much to type to share. I'm having lunch trying to fix my nose it is about to burst out a red pimp on the tip - it's not pleasing on the photo it would look like a crown. Ok, talk soon.

I have never met Bernard but he Knows everything about me

Still a bit tired and it is cold this morning that I stay in bed for an hour earlier - a little bit I want to rest and postpone but I told myself if I don't get up and wake up late then I would be too awake at night and mess my biological clock.

I wanted to write about this a few days ago, that I was a private forum member and I had some chats with Sunette and Bernard - lol it was very excited when I first chat with Bernard. I asked him what you can give me advice on my process so far - I waited for about 10 mins then he said overzealousness that I realize the point right away that I know he can see everything in me and I missed this point. Same with Sunette that when I asked her why there are blood vessels/veins (I wasn't sure at that moment, just know it was here and something is wrong?) she said it's because I suppress myself want to hide away in front of people(don't know whether it apply me for afraid of people know my secrets) so what I suppress the opposite the blood vessels has uprooted - it's actually even getting worse even after a bit of self-forgiveness that maybe something down to the core has not been totally cleared.

When talking about secrets I want to talk a little bit about masturbation. I mean masturbation is an extremely horrible beast - that if you like me haven't "fallen" yourself you don't know how horrible masturbation can brought you down to. Because whenever one is obsessed into masturbation I just like anyone else looked for excitement and these excitements for the mind means whether you got an excitement a high energy feelings then a few days later when you do/use the same thing to masturbate you get used to it/get bored and would automatically these thoughts would come up and you look for "more" exciting stimulants to stimulate your mind to get the same degree of excitement. it depends on what you use to "turn you on" for instance I am turned on by SM and pornography that when I realize there is a problem that it is already late(if not too late) because whenever I saw or with mothers in the park these sex scenes and thoughts would automatically comes up and you know: fuick! I got to control myself but the problem is the more you masturbate(especially when you don't know the horrible nature of using pictures to masturbate) you more become this "beast". It's like your morphing and morphing but at the same time trying to stop your thoughts but it didn't work.

I mean some might think how dare you talk and broadcast such ideas in public! I would say you don't know what the real world is. The real world is the internet full of all types of pornographies that uncountables of teenagers don't know how to handle masturbation and sex and step by step turning into addicts that can't clear him/herself. Because nobody talked about the seriousness and how concrete the effects of masturbation and Most Importantly! nobody ever comes up with a solution of how to stop themselves! The problems (and I am just talking about pornography here not to mention the super flooding, super typhoons, decrease of food production, tsunami and earth quakes all these natural disasters that are devastatingly up coming soon) these turning teenagers gradually into raptist won't stop just because you hidden it, just because you treat it as taboo and don't talk about it - this is only solution within your mind, it is not common sense. Things will only get bigger and bigger and getting out of control - of course until you yourself become one of those masturbation beast or friends/family you know was abused by a raptist. I mean let's be honest, if in the past when I heard about the word rapist I would got a bit sexually excited that's common sense that's the truth and it's not just me, I presume most of those reading this could have such feelings too, I don't know.

So in short how did I walked my way out, pfffff it was a long way. I first self-forgive myself on what I have done about using and SM stuffs to turned myself on - I mean it's very automatic: if I see someone in the park and I have such orgy thoughts about that girl or child then it is reflecting what I am constructed of and I have a serious problem. Write as much as possible as detail as possible for why I use SM and to get aroused and forgive for energetically raping them - manifesting such violent into their Lifes(if you ask how can that happen are you nuts? I suggest you either: study throughly about Desteni materials interviews they hv explained all these throughly "or" continue being your Mr. Ego and wait for the virus and germs come and delete you from this earth - there is no point for you to continue staying on earth - within equality). Then! I stopped masturbation for 7 months(that's suppression of course but that's a good chance for me to pull back myself and stop what I have already become) and correct me in corrective-application in not using pictures to masturbate. Basically masturbation is energy is feeling - at least to my findings are. Then gradually decreasing the frequency of masturbation per week(of course I got relapse because I haven't solved the core point of I am obsessed into the sex energy feelings). Right now I am using breath orgasm to assist me to distribute the energy through out my body - of course at this moment(and I misunderstood a bit about breath orgasm. I thought I can achieve the same orgasm through distributing the energy evenly inside me but no it is not even an orgasm, it is a release to prevent to go for masturbation again and your body won't feel uneasy because you don't masturbate - this has been quite effective on me that I have like hadn't masturbate for 10 days and I am still ok) .

At first the thoughts still struck me(because I am still that beingness I still have those "essence" contents inside me as me), so whenever I am free I write more Self-forgiveness on what I had done/used and SM to get aroused and it is only a temporary release of the guilt and things like that that had integrated into me - I still need to correct and stop myself in the corrective application in every moment changing me to steer myself pull myself change my direction. So after like I would say 9 months to 1 year or a bit more than that - that I today even walking in parks when I see I won't have thoughts like those that I had before and I substantially don't have fantasy about girls when I see them. It was so horrible that when I have girls walk by me and I would have thoughts you know those orgy thoughts that "automatically" jumps out - the point is anyone everyone will become a rapist through pictorial masturbation that's my findings. It's just nobody is talking it nobody publicly knows how someone can become a rapist or how to cure himself.

Ok, let me save first then come back and continue my realizations. time to walk a bit in the park with my mom.

So I though I was ok without using any pictures just energy to masturbate and I was ok - when I masturbate for like every 2 days and the virus come back into my fingers - a sign of showing me that hey you are jeopardizing our home - the body. However I was obsessed into the sexual energy "feeling" even without pictures and Bernard see this when I ask Andrea about how to do breath orgasm correctly. He first told me if I don't feel a release through distributing the energy then it is cool - means there is no point no energy congeal up inside my body that need to be released. However, instead of working with breath orgasm he suggest me to work on stopping the desire of masturbation and not being controlled by the sex system. I have already explained how shocked I was in realizing that I am controlled by the sex system - it's almost like I was mesmerized by the sex energy and I was worshiping it! totally feeling it as "wonderful" and wanting more and more ignoring everything.

So and of course my starting point is not finding proofs so afterwards I will then believe in Desteni but it's really amazing that Bernard really knows how to "package" the words so you would understand what he suggest to you and you would get the message listen to him and he knows! the total total everything of you, in my case it's me and he can instantly point out where you need to pay attention to and what points you need to work on pay attention on.

I was shocked that my problem on masturbation not only stem from using pictures of beings to masturbate but also I was controlled by masturbation, by sex system. That's why once I re-do masturbation I sort of always wanted to re-do it again and again and "couldn't stop" myself. This time I do it I can get back to myself always reminding me - not to be "controlled" by sex system I live my Life I steer myself I am driving myself not my sex system.

Ok, time to continue some self-forgiveness on Equality.

Self-forgiveness on Equality:

MC - the number of primary pattern point I still need to Self-forgive on: 5 points.

On ID/change my most import primary pattern point on Equality - feeling, L - liveliness.

On Y/N is it referring to me not being excited/liveliness about living in Equality - Y.

On Y/N is liveliness referring to me want to live through energy and ignore Equality - Y.

I forgive myself that I haven't accept and allow myself to become live in equality.

I forgive myself that I haven't accept myself to realize that equality means everyone everything is from the same source from Life, Equality means I don't need to count and calculate for the gain or lose it will strike me/come to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to run away from equality and want to keep my free-choice.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize equality means everyone take turns.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only define myself as energy and ignore equality.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself only want to keep live through energy and ignore Equality in everything as we are from the same source.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to experience energy as living and disregard the physical that was producing energy for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself just want to experience energy and don't want to take self-responsibility in producing these energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be controlled by energy instead of living my Life steering myself to live and experience.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize Equality comes with Life-responsibilities that I take turn give and receive - that we all are from the same source as part of Life that the current world way of living is totally atrocities.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Live my life my energy Life only and have totally disregard everything in existence as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to realize that fun and pain are to be shared within equality and everyone everything in existence should be considered in doing what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to live Equality design myself based on Equality but wanted to cling on my energy throne and being quiet as long as I can have my energy living.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to stand up within existence for Equality but afraid of not existing anymore - not realizing the current existence is foundate on pain, deceiving and sacrificing a handful few has everything while most suffer painfully.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to keep my energy living and subconsciously wanting others like physical or plants to keep on being deceive.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize the number one rule and what cannot be escape is in-Equality Consequence.

On Y/N do I need to be more specific on the point Liveliness? N

Within seeing the pattern I want to consider only for myself I remind myself the number one rule in existence is Equality - that no one can escape in-Equality Consequence.

Within seeing the pattern I want to avoid pain within Equality I remind myself that Equality is doing what is best for all.

Within seeing the pattern I only want to take but do not want to give/produce for others I remind myself there is always Consequences for act or don't act and it is my self-responsibility for taking then giving - I cannot run away from equality, it is self-dishonesty self-deceiving.

On ID/change what to do with liveliness referring to Equality:

(Self-forgiveness, talk with someone, write about it(Y), live liveliness within Equality)

Maybe because I have already done some self-forgiveness on liveliness so it's not needed.

Pretty tired every day and I am going on

It's 5:30pm I just bit and won 6x1Gb of DDR400 ram this morning.

Very tired that I need to take care of tons of things like getting HST number(for business tax purpose) and monitoring about bidding the rams on ebay and how to return/refund those ones that I accidentally bought for server/registered rams. Very very tired each day, and thinking how do I obtain house listings from the local area - like how do I walk into the neighborhood and ring their bells, whenever I am free I am practicing smiling preparing myself to take a picture for my business card I mean - all these seems easy tasks piece of cake but they are not, I need to make sure every email every questions that I ask are addressed to the seller and information like address are correct. Not to mention the extreme nature disasters and animals thriving into our earth to collapse our system.

If you are a kid or don't know about Desteni then you might think how can the animals offend us not to mention collapsing us, they are weak and trivial. I can break their necks step on bugs and they die right away - this is totally naive and haven't go through Desteni's materials and totally ego dominated. Let me just give some examples, when the number of cockroaches or rats doubled your farm already would produce less than half of food and would already cause a panic in public, some might say we got petsticide - that's totally ego I mean do you homework look up the internet the elite even need to prepare lots of coffins preparing for the outbreak of super-bugs and viruses this Desteni has already explained way back in 2007. everything was pre-programmed in the white light period right now - all the pre-programming has been removed. Things that had never happened on earth would start happening and people tend to use their mind to find proofs before they act or participate and that tends to be too late - you are dead already. I was prepared to accept and participate in oneness equality - including reduce my living standard because that is the first priority here that we accept and participate equality - and with Equal money system with products that would last for a Lifetime then it's a "bonus" that we might even get more than living under Capitalism.

What people not willing to is give up anything that they are enjoying they are taking privilege as they are enslaving/abusing another to have that joy. For most that I have in touch with they don't consider equality they don't consider "consequences". To them consequences are how smart you can dodge the law, how smart you can suck as much money as they can and marry a beautiful/handsome energetically stimulating girl/boy. Consequences are they lie to someone and so what I mean even for tons of Desteni videos interviews explaining nobody has ever explain in how this universe how everything works - people still use I want more proves as excuses to Not have to Listen to Desteni - why? to me, because from the bottom of their hearts they know - very clearly - with equality you have to give up everything! for instance, whenever I eat rice chicken they are me and I am reminding myself/preparing to experience those pain for being digest and being eat, the chair keyboard the same - they don't feel pain for being sit on but they are one and equal to as me. Accepting Desteni messages Accepting Equality means you cannot have privileges anymore for the rest of your Life, everything is one and equal to and as you. Down to the core is - they don't want to give up, the more they cling on to their privileges as humans the more sufferings they need to go through suffer - and they are horrblily extreme out of human's controls totally out of scales disasters coming. As Desteni reveals more bit by bit - we are walking into a total suffering total chaotic every busy collapsing society.

Some if not most at this moment if they read this and say: wtf are you talking about? cult! I find it very strange that people don't use common sense at all - they just stick with if the past 2000yrs has never happened in history and that! won't happen now or I see no symptoms. yes we are having some mega typhoons, some mysterious dead birds, some serious floodings but they are just "temporary" they come and go - totally ego and mind excuses for not participating in Equality and Equal Money. As Bernard said: those who look for proofs will never find it and just by looking for proofs before you convince yourself to Act to participate: you Pay the price.

So as Veno said (if I remember him correctly) in his video: Don't Regret and come crying after you die. I think depends on how ego you are because the more you are an ego system the further proofs that you don't Deserve continue living on earth I mean what would be the purpose for killing/having tons of chicken or animals plants being killed just to feed a self-interest greedy ego system? You can't even explain how Cancer appears on earth on human's body(these Desteni has all explained) you just cut cut cut and cut the cancer cells out of your body and you call that cure? that's the superior advance technology of humanity? where is our common sense?

If you use common sense you would agree with Desteni, you would agree Equality Equal Money is the most suitable approach to solve every major problems on earth - because within Equal Money system there is no need to be Greedy anymore - except if your "sick" and need rehab. Everyone within Equal Money system would express.

So this is me, through my words, through my videos know me. There is a Chinese phrase saying: paper cannot use to wrap/cover up fire. The who I am what I am right now in process is here, read our words watch our videos, find out why someone like me who were just masturbating for 17yrs and all of a sudden found out Desteni in 2008, studied all their videos articles for 7 months then totally contributing participating into their chinese translation 6hrs a day, 7 days a week. Lately switched to become a realtor see how I can make money for myself and donations - as Bernard said: give (Equal Money) as a gift the best gift to your children and to their children and to their their children.

As a bonus, when you come back to earth next Life after you die, do you want to live in a world like this? Life is short, time goes by fast. I am already 40 - half of my Life is gone now and I can say only ever since I found Desteni and correct myself through Self-forgiveness and self-corrective application - I wasn't living at all.

So read me, know me, read Desteni's messages know Desteni. Join us, participate with us, walk with us. Find out why people from all over the world are so enphusiastic unconditionally contributing participating into Desteni into Equal Money.

Ok, will talk later. Next making vlogs lol.

Equality:

I forgive myself that I so preciously hang onto my free-choice and wanted to be kings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself treating plants animals bugs and molecules were just something for me to use or have fun with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself do not want to take self-responsibility but only want to enjoy my positive energy.

I forgive myself that I haven't accept and allow myself to realize I am Life and Life is the ultimate fun.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanted to have my own free-enjoyment instead of going/doing what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I haven't accept and allow myself to treat everything every plant animals molecules like me.

I forgive myself that I haven't accept and allow myself to realize pains need to be shared when necessary.

I forgive myself that I haven't accept and allow myself to realize what I take I must give back in the future.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanted to take as much as possible and totally disregard the consequence of taking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanted to escape the consequence of equality.

I forgive myself that I haven't accept and allow myself to see every plant, animals, human in me as me.

I forgive myself that I haven't accept and allow myself to see I must live in equality and share happy pain and self-responsibility among all since everyone is me as self as part of Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exploit enslavement and deceiving tactics to enslave and deceive others not realizing what I did to anything is exactly How I would be treated in the future.

I forgive myself that I haven't accept and allow myself being self-honest to me and treat everything in existence equally as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself even deceive myself and thinking nobody would see the truth of me.

Within seeing the pattern of want to do it free-choice way I remind myself that if I want self-choice then everything would have self-choice.

Within seeing the pattern of wanting free-choice I remind myself free-choice has a consequence of I ignore everything as self and do for best for all then I would be ignored.

How to package my Slogans?

I went to sleep for a few hours, it was raining and I got nothing to do. The slogans that I wanted to put at the back of my business card gives me headaches. At first I thought it was easy - no it wasn't. I have to consider/calculate every details carefully while not jeapordize my realty business.

I have talked to Andrea, Cam and Bathon. Andrea said it would be very cool, Cam warned me of should strictly stick with the system - earning money, Bathon sort of like he said in his working place - it's like peaching/telling thief not to be thief.

I totally had not considered that people might be offended just by mentioning Desteni messages at least I wasn't offended at all. However, in summarizing all of their advices - I need to be clear on myself that I am dealing with the group of people that are lost and mostly Greedy, there is no question about this. Now, how do I "beautifully/technically" avoid they misunderstand/prejudge that I am associated with this Desteni - they misjudged as a crazy losing self-control(implying I am crazy and losing control, jeapordaizing my credibility, it's how much they can profit and would I be trustable in handling their money is all they concern that's all) religious cult - this is the main point that I need to look at.

We only interest/care about those that would listen to Desteni's messages - totally clear about that. Now the question is how do I step by step guide these (only a few at this stage) people that are willing to investigate/listen to Desteni's messages. How do I package my slogans is the first step. This troubles me the whole day and I was busy preparing my realtor business setup - a bit tired so I went to sleep for a few hours.

I come down to a run down: I am promoting Equal Money system's website, sloganing on how they can benefit from a car, Laptop, a house, a TV that won't break and can last for their Life time - that everyone can benefit everyone can have one of these, that 95% of our factories can be closed, they can do things that they like to do. For those that are willing to investigate/listen, awaken/remind them - you don't have to be greedy to "obtain" a better living, you can do it through Equal Money. Now of course, first, how do I package these marvelously into one slogan.

Of course there will be(and they will be the majority at this moment - as Bernard said: he tried on the class that have most money - the over 45 to 50 class - they are lost in greediness and won't give a damn). At the current stage, my cards will be concentrated on this class - those that are greedy wants more money. My target group are those that are 40s that might still listen because look, it has nothing to do whether there are exceptions that in Desteni there are old people that understand and willing to participate but the point is - most of them are youngsters, most youngsters are willing to use common sense and listen to the Desteni message.

There are several strategies that I considered:

1. Make the words smaller - less eye catching, it is also a sign of how curious you are, the more curious your the more you are likely in investigate.

2. Avoid any implication of using words associate/imply religious cult.

3. Use "Through Equal Money - You can have unbreakable cars, laptops" you can directly benefit from a higher/better living standard through Equal Money. I know this is not totally true but it is something to lure them and give a curious person to start investigate with.

Here is what I have at this moment(it would be more concise in Chinese):

(Logo)

Interesting, Full of wonders Web Magazine: www.youtube.com/DesteniChineseTD

www.youtube.com/DesteniProduction/

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Only Need to Work 4 years then you are Retired! Gives you House, Cars, Laptops, TVs that last for your Lifetime - Never Breaks!

Please vote for Equal Money System! www.equalmoney.org

Phew! Those above lines already took me two hrs - lol to you it's just a few seconds. If that really works I would "first" need to remove my vlogs in DesteniChineseTD - sort of sever my connection to these web links - prevent the implications that I am too deeply involve into them. For people or youngsters that would Listen that's cool if they know I am involve, for those that are do not willing to listen or use common sense or only care about how much money they can profit they can use their money to enslave the public - it's better to draw my line clear.

They would know I am involve "when" they dig in more into Desteni and when they are serious about the Desteni message. Who knows? maybe when tons of disasters finally actually manifest in their Life - if Bernard and existence everything still gives them "time" to study the oneness equality message then some of them might still be able to stay of earth - not like those birds and fishes that "mysteriously died".

Ok, I have written this for a few hours, time to do some youtube subscribe back(youtube sucks it spam me whenever I continuously post messages to 20+ youtube users) then some rest.

Not enough time many works - Preparing myself as a Realtor

Ok, so it's 1:30pm I am pushing myself to write something whenever I am free. Really not enough time to do all the works - including all sort of misc. stuffs that need to contact prepare arrange for being a realtor, and lots of readings, some worries that once I am registered in two weeks I would be paying licensing fee no matter whether I can acquire deals or not.

Like last night, I was pushing myself to at least do a vlog on the difference between Capitalism and Equal Money. I found myself overrun the topic that whenever a point/a difference is explained that examples and some related aspects are mentioned/involved and it prolongs the vlog - I have to make it into a two-parts videos. Currently not much are watching except on some crucial topics that Destonians would share it on FB then that video would get 50+ views, else it's horrible but I would continue.

This morning is like every morning that I walk a bit inside the house - you know I just like walking a lot I found it relaxing and I just love walking. Breakfast then, come back at 10am and check emails, inquire about 2nd hand rams, business cards, realtor's house signs, contacts, do some reading searching on ebay then I am now 1:42pm, still haven't had lunch yet. Everyday is like this that there are lots of things that need to taken care of/arrange I mean it really cost me time to write blogs - and not much people are reading it I presume. DOG! I was in SRA before and it took me a lot of effort just to understand the materials from SRA not to mention to "remember" them which I am extremely bad at memorizing things - at least I still haven't got my early 7yrs old childhood quantum reading ability back but I am forcing myself to listen learn through the physical instead of through the mind - mind really sucks, it's extremely slow - it's in opposite: parents send children to school to be dumped downed, using competition to train children use more "mind" to learn and memorized - a totally controlled by elite fuicked up world that nobody including myself want to come back and re-experience all sort of atrocities again again and again. I mean that's enough - for everyone on earth, till here no further.

Still need to make the English version vlogs for difference between Capitalism and Equal money - it would be an challenge because my vocabulary is quite limited that I can only use simple terms words to explain. Maybe a bit later after lunch.

Ok, will talk later.

Not Controlled by Sex/Masturbation System

I asked Andrea for details of Breath Orgasm and why I don't have any orgasmic feelings - which is release of energy and I don't feel electric charges in my body. she asked Bernard and yesterday she reply to me that it's cool and ok with no such feelings - that's how I interpret it.

However Bern has point out one thing that I need to stop and prove to myself that I am not controlled by the sex system, and without pictures then! I can use the breath orgasm and masturbation together. I mean this is really a shocking realization to me - I don't have to suppress and stop masturbation but really the point is - not being controlled by sex energy feelings as sex systems.

Wow! what a realization. what an advice. really I mean I just keep missing points like that - and Bernard's advices are golden motto that really rings the bell and correct me in my directions in process. I was "controlled" by masturbation by sex system that I had to give myself up and masturbate for a couple of days and I was controlled and I didn't realize I was controlled. I just realize whenever I am aroused that I need an "outlet" to exert the frustration out else I would feel extremely uncomfortable - either need to make myself busy to divert my attentions on the discomfort or I need to "forget" that I have the urge to masturbate inside. It's like whenever I am aroused then the only way to make me feel comfortable or being as the normal me is to masturbate - else it wouldn't be complete, unfulfilled.

Of course, right now I know and am practicing Breath Orgasm that it assist me a lot in distributing the energies through out to my cells that used to be forming a knot holding in certain places of my body (mostly pelvic area) that I can you can 'simulate' an ecstasy of course it's not an shoot out is half second ecstasy and then there is not more. For my stage right now, the ecstasy is still in small scale(if I can call it that way) but sort of like in every cells, sort of like the feeling of eating ice cream and it stays there. All I need to do is concentrate on distributing the energy equally to each cells. I am still mostly distributing in area above upper abdominal area. I haven't really try distributing the energy to my feet area.

One thing Bernard mentioned is no desire - there must be no desire for any outcome any ecstasy or having a big orgasm - no expectations, just expressing and distributing. This technique already saves me a few masturbations that in the past - without distributing the energy evenly, the desire to masturbate would be big and most of the time I would bend and give up to masturbate it out then regretting for feeling just a half second shoot out then my body would suck dry and my face looked being sucked dry, flesh being sucked dried. That I really know I understand Life is not just masturbation, Life is more than that and I had no way to handle the energy knots the urge wanted to masturbate Properly - now Breath Orgasm is really really a great way to go and I will keep practice it, maybe until I get a Breath Orgasm lol.

Ok, will update more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself totally participate and yarn for more in the sex system.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see that I was totally controlled by the sex system.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to be self as Life but passed all of myself my controls to sex systems and experienced through and addicted the sex system.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that to a certain extent I can still enjoy sex/masturbation but keeping myself always aware here.

I forgive myself that I haven't accept and allow myself to see I am under the sex system's control.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to precious the sex system so much that I fear if I lost sex or masturbation then there is no fun in my Life.

I forgive myself that I haven't accept and allow myself to realize I am actually enjoying the energy flow flowing through out my body when I see a female or a naked female.

I forgive myself that I haven't accept and allow myself to stand up and be the driver steering myself in every moment even when masturbating.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself always desire for masturbation and sex and yarn for more sex feelings and energies.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for sex feelings and masturbation I can even give up everything for the split of second moments of sex feelings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give excuses to me that once I am aroused for the desire of masturbation that there is no other way but in order to totally fulfill the desires I must masturbate to release it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think without female pictures or animation characters to aim at that masturbation won't be fun.

MC - two more points that I need to be more specific on I am controlled by Sex System.

S, 1019-1197, 1108-1197, 1154-1197, 1159 L - stoep.

Hmmm, don't understand. Confirmed by both arms - waiting for Andrea's assistance/reply.

MC - word that would most assist me in understanding how to apply the stoep in I am controlled by Sex System:

P - 818-929, 875-929, 881-890, 886 R - Power 動力.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use sex energy as my power.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live Sex system instead of living and experiencing my Life as self.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely to Sex system to live for me and I just under control of sex system.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to self-powered and self-fun.

I retest it as - 1159 L stoke 加煤炭.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I must have masturbation must have sex system energetically recharged once a few day to feel alive.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that I am addicted to using sex system to recharge me and recharge my mind consciousness system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself subject to the control of sex system.

I forgive myself that I haven't accept and allow myself to enjoy sex system as self as equal to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give excuses for me once I am thirsty of masturbation then the only way is to through masturbation and experience a second of sex energy flow.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to beautify how wonderful it is for sex system's energetic urge and flows.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself once I go back to masturbation then I am totally controlled by sex system and do not stand up myself steering myself to Live but mesmerized to the sex feelings.

MC - Do I need to be more specific on the point? N

Nettle - the word assist/guide me the most in Breath Orgasm

I used muscle communication to look for word that can most assist me in Breath Orgasm, I really want to achieve Breath Orgasm but having no progress so far. I also tested out what would be most appropriate in handling it through: Self-forgiveness, breath it out, write about it. It tested out as - write it out so I am going to write about Nettle about breath orgasm.

I have always wanted to achieve breath orgasm because masturbation has always been my self-defined self-valued as what I am, as I am masturbation without masturbation then there is no meaning of fun and it's like there would be no purpose of my fun/life. I was very obsessed into pictorial masturbation, of course I didn't know about all the consequences of pictorial masturbation.

About the nettle, I feel very frustrated(not exactly frustrated but feeling impatience) that even kids like Ryan can achieve breath orgasm. I was a bit worried and getting frustrated for I am not getting any reaction at all, like I try to distribute the energy through out my body but nothing is felt, I don't even know where the energy is located. It's like I am not getting any progress, I worry that I am too old I mean else why would I not feeling any progress or response in breath orgasm. I mean when I see other kids they are in their vlogs it's like they totally just do it just like that. not much details and why I am not getting any progress i mean at least some progress would encourage me - I am getting there, if I have some progress it's a sign that I am getting there but I have no progress/no signs. I am a bit worry and worry about that I am not getting progress. The only progress that I have tonight is chatting with kelly that she told me she can do it with distributing the "energy" farthest away through out her body, I asked her whether it's the "feeling" because feeling is energy that you feel good about that and we discussed it she said it is or could be. then I started playing with it trying to distribute the feeling I still haven't associate the distribution with breath yet.

It's like the nettle comes from I always want to haste myself want to have progress to prove that I am on the right track and without evidence/signs of progress on breath orgasm I can't rest in peace. Because I know I am stuck in masturbation, although I am not using pictures at this moment the body still being sucked dry that I really like to divert my addiction on masturbation to become an expression of breath orgasm that - before I can get rid of stand alone of energy at least I get rid of masturbation - using breath orgasm as an substitute. That's why I am hasting myself urging myself wanted to have progress on breath orgasm.

When I see them making vlogs saying how it's like it really seems it's as simple as that and why to me it's so difficult? makes me really want talking to them ask them but so far, I found kelly only.

Do I need to be more specific in writing the point Nettle? N

After writing it out, I feel like those worries or haste that "tangled" inside me, like the "weight" energetic weight was released like doing self-forgiveness that the "burden" is lightened. So writing out did release the sub or un-conscious uneasyness inside my body. I was prepared to write (many) self-forgiveness on the point nettle.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I do not have any progress on breath orgasm that I might kept on obsessed into masturbation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I am particularly dumb in learning including breath orgasm.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself want to use progress to prove that I am not particularly dumb.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself aiming at having progress and feeling uneasy when I am not having any progress in breath orgasm.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to envy ryan for such a young age and able to achieve breath orgasm.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge ryan not realizing he is as self as me that he is me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear I might not suitable able to learn breath orgasm.

Within seeing the pattern of fear I might not able to learn breath orgasm I stop and breath and remind myself if I can masturbate then I can move the sex energy and I did have progress on realizing the sex feeling is the energy.

Reluctant to change me:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear I would need to suffer pain if I really change myself into equality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself pretending that I am walking to be a better person in equality while not actually changing myself through self-forgiveness and corrective application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to afraid if I change myself into equality that I might need to experience what the chickens, poultries' pain for being cut and eaten.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear changing means there will be no more fun and fun only defines through some must sacrifice.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear actually changing me means have to experience both the joy and pain together.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself enjoy with others as self need to suffer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear of taking turns in being the suffering polarity end.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself obsessed into being the elite with lots of money.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself realizing changing myself to equality is the key.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself obsessed into pictorial masturbation that every time it's only split of a second and I gain nothing during the process.

Within seeing my pattern of not wanting to change me to equality I stop and breathe and remind myself there is always consequences that I cannot escape.

Within seeing my pattern of want to act egoly I stop and breathe and remind myself there is always consequence and how I treat everything is just another me as self.

MC - Do I need to be more specific on Reluctant to change me? Y

MC - Number of primary pattern points I need to be more specific on? 12

The most important primary pattern point I need to be specific on Reluctant to change me:

Emotion A, 50 - Adherence

On Y/N is it I haven't Adhere to my self-forgiveness points? Y

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to adhere to my self-forgiveness points.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself treating self-forgiveness as once I write the statements out then I don't need to remember it anymore.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to adhere to I am using self-forgiveness to forgive and change me.

On Y/N do i need to be more specific on the point Adhere? Y

On ID/Change the number of point I need to be specific on? 8

On ID/change the word that will most elaborate on the point Adherence:

Dictionary S, 1019-1197, 1019-1108, 1066-1108, 1068 (L first later corrected to R) - Shamble

The most efficient way to handle point Adherence - Shamble: write SF(Y), write it out, talk with someone, breath through it(Y)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear of Self-forgiveness because I can't write self-forgiveness out and see the points in changing me clearly then I refuse to write self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I haven't accept and allow myself to breath through situations when I can see the points continue writing self-forgiveness in changing me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put myself in slow paste and not aiming at clearing steering changing me through self-forgiveness and corrective application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself because I can't write self-forgiveness out smoothly so I walk writing my self-forgiveness slowly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think there is always time and as long as I am writing self-forgiveness I will be fine.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel discouraged because I don't see an obvious change in myself through self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel self-forgiveness is tedious because I cannot see the points in how to change me in what way quickly and stop writing self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think as long as I am blank then it means there is no more points for me to write on the pattern point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think if I am blank that means I am perfect I don't need to write self-forgiveness anymore.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself using excuses not wanting to face myself for what I have become.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do just a bit of self-forgiveness to make myself feel better that I have done my part of cleaning myself but haven't fully want to change me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself aiming at having a blank stage so I don't have to face and change me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself subtly wanted to stay at my current living standard and do not want to change me into equality.

MC - do I need to be more specific on the point Shamble - Y

The primary pattern points I still need to be more specific on - 6

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself using my blankness and slow progress in self-forgiveness and do not want to do self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself using sub-consciously resisting to do self-forgiveness as an excuse so that I apparently cannot do efficient self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself fearing if I see all the points I need to change myself and do self-forgiveness on I can't live my old way of living and won't have any fun.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself need to confess for what I did what I have accepted and allowed in the past and can't do them again.

I forgive myself that I haven't accept and allow myself to realize I have to unconditionally give up what is not supporting oneness and equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself fearing people might know and see what I have done, accept and allow in the past and feeling embarrassing as not willing to unconditionally changing me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear people knowing my strong desires for masturbation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resisting in looking back at what I have done in the past and using blakness as an excuse to not correct myself not changing myself.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see what I can do to change myself fit into oneness equality through seeing self-forgiveness points.

MC - Do I need to be more specific on the point I do not want to see self-forgiveness points? N

MC - Do I need to be more specific on I don't want to see my self-forgiveness points? Y

The number of primary pattern points I need to be more specific on I don't want to see my self-forgiveness points - 1