Awareing of Life as Here as Darkness

So, it has been couple of days since i started operating in Awareness mode, whenever i got problems/things that i need to solve, i re-enforce the Awareness of myself in 'Here' and i added as 'Darkness' today. at first was enthusiastic as a child found something that's interesting and like to show it to his parents/others, later when Bella reply my chat post it seems my path need to be revised. however, one thing that i find out is with Awareness in action, things become 'more' clear and videos or articles that i Read/Watch before which was totally a mass or i got frustrated/just gave up on understanding/realizing with Awareness, things become clear, it is like your still inside the maze, before it was even worse inside a thick mist inside a maze, now with Awareness the mist is gone and clear but u still need to 'walk' the maze and that is how i would describe it.

At first, discourage appears when i saw Bella's post without much 'friends' that agree with my opinions/find outs and i was like 'not again' i need to revise my path. she gave me a link of Bernard's interview of End of Self Awareness and things started to open up. eg. the definition of self, what is Here, what is Life. for example, i have troubles in understanding/realizing why Here has everything and with all sorts of refractions and interference and space and time, how can something in Here 'is' everything in it. now, i know the point of Here and interpretation of LIfe. even refraction is life, everything is life, life means Here and Here means all as one as equal as life. and the give up, which is the give up of inequality/enslavement[s] in various form. then, i re-read Bruce L.'s Emergence of Self as Multidimensional and things opened up too, before it was like i dropped right on the first paragraph and fall on the floor of keep annoying and ask 'what the hack he's talking about? i don't get it - at all' now, with Awareness instead of thinking of the mind, things turned out like i said i still need to read it slowing to let things sink in but the Mist is gone which totally inhibit me from even find the direction or setting up a starting point inside the maze. for instance, it's the physical /the opposite that every dimensional being are now in earth in the physical that we have a chance to amalgamate being one and equal to them and when every life fragments are one and equal as the physical life as one and equal can manifest. then, further i read Lou Zou's Manifested Consequence and things also opened up. it is that i was not ABSOLUTE in my attitude to Self-Forgiveness, u don't have to shout[prefer by them though] but u have to be Determine/Absolute. makes me recall Robert Moonroe's article of saying: 'you don't understand what i mean, you want to know what i mean? drop your mind and you will see' ... i didn't realize what it is like until i have switched to Awareness Mode of Self as Here. so Here can be explained, can be realized/understood it is because everything is made of Life that when you access through Life which is Here[status of fragments of Life as one and equal] that Cause[life] + Effects[also constructed/contain of Life]+ Consequences[which also 'is' life] and when Life manifest it will be unpredictable/unknown of the result because then, we could be like transcended Cause, Effects and Consequences by then 'cause we step out of the rabbit hole! see, i presume these points are not possible through thinking - no at all from what i feel from Awareness of life/self in Here. oh, and the Regret Video also, same before was a total mess, i took what the words are into my head but nothing can be Realize/understood even in catching up of what it is talking about but u just 'know' it's interesting and 'true' that u want to keep on cracking the meanings. which also, as i perceive now, was not possible through the i perceived as thinking through the mind - without Awareness.

What i have adjusted is the Self as Life and Life Here from the Consciousness Here in a Spectrum of present, now and future. even in realizing/understanding the keys/solutions that was given by Bernard and others through the portal Awareness was needed |o| not to mention Generating these Articles, i mean and we still use thinking to solve things out that we are currently facing in 3D world, |o| do we stand any chance at all? so everything in Existence is Life, that's why every Self is life but we haven't achieved Life-Awareness yet. the feeling of Awareness is when you have experienced it, you wouldn't want to go back for the pointless looping of robotic/thinking which we all so preciously gripping hanged on to. before, i never thought i could operate without thinking, i tried and ask questions but nobody seems can give me a satisfied answer of how to achieve it. i was like, i still need to 'Operate' but by what? how do solve my broken lawn mower by Not thinking which was seeing as so Mad and Distant for me to achieve. yet, everything begins when i start translating Bernard's articles and when i put my focal point on Keep Awareing Self then in Here. that's not done, and need to revised, but everything make [common] sense when Life is put into the puzzle and things started to float up and through life linking everything. Awareing in Life as Here as Darkness. i see what i found out couple of days later.