Monday, May 11, 2009

Pretty Good with Staying in Awaring with mySelf and I am

Pretty ok today except the body parts need repair for rubbing and getting sensitive and caused some fantasies till afternoon. i seem quite satisfied with the feeling of Fullness and Completeness of inside me that i currently no need to chase around for desires of Luxuries and Gadgets and as long as i can sustain my living and Aware of myself even money and adventures /other interesting things can exchange for this fullness inside of just simply aware of mySelf. |o| ... how we have been through reflection of Anu 'fluted' by ourselves to 'look for something' so simple right under our nose. when i was sitting in the passenger side when my mom and we were going for gas fillup, i watched the neon lights and the quiteness of night in the light rain, all these used to give me romantic, touching feelings that can drive me emotional or pretented moments of peace/ease tonight is totally different. i feel so satisfied just by sitting alone with mySelf and i was simply [maybe even for my uncountable past lives] searching outwards for nothing[we were deceiving ourselves through Anu]and literally a Crying /Atrocities Game, but no gas[|o|... the world'g going to]/tears this time. this being Aware of mySelf, i don't look for outward stuffs to Fullfill your Ever Again. in this way, i would presume i am even more happier than Bill Gate - |o| .. what a joke for most people that haven't achieve/realize what i feel now .. what a joke for me to look at all our past lifes under the illusion of Evolution and like animals that support us here [the y are noble beings of course together with the nature and plants that support us to prolong our else would end in a few days' lives] we were really the animals that are being herbed in a farm like environment called Earth in the name of History.

When i was translating today, actually this 2 or so days, i was practicing practical arosue without images and the video from Desteni sateted that you can get aroused by simply touching the hangs anywhere. i originally didn't get it - my mind prohibited me/ it is he doesn't know how that can be only through the pictures that he preceived and i experience that as me. i have tried several times but that didn't work quite well. i was just rubbing and as you might know if rubbing on the arm can get you aroused, as Bernard's article ending with - i will take my hat off for you |o|. then, i recall that the portal mentioned you are not building up something to experience a orgasm that would be separation and this rings my bell. so i tried being one and equal with orgam itself one and equal while rubbing hence what i experience orgam in me as me will experience that and vice verse. the results are quite exposential i would describe it as 10 times more stronger in feeling under a normal specific sensitive regions' touching. amazing isn't it. just by touching/rubbing my wrist. i have stopped after a couple of tried have already felt the orgasmic built up inside, i stopped beacause it is not time for me to practice masturbation yet. i need to stop it for a while so it's no good for me to get aroused and just in case if that causing uneasyness inside me.

Hence, the I am/cam can be applied on anything. supposing many things/anything in existence. i have tried many like i am flow itself and even what i am typing here, i try to View myself as words that the reason i can type so many words which wasn't possible in the past. i used through the mind to construct my sentences, now, i am just words myself. what words, it doesn't matter, maybe i am words from other people that's currently writting/books wrriten in the library, i am just this moment working on being words, stay in breathe, awareing of myself and being here. i type and i am words. when i type it seems there are feelings or association between the words i type and myself. i am just words and i type and i experience myself as words[strange this i didn't prepare this]. however, i am quite sure it is a very long post that i have never originally have very little to mention for and it ends up like this! i just focus on words i am words feel what words like and be one and equal to words. you can be one and equal to many many different things...which i am getting what they said in the videos that sex is something that human being experienced themselves so limited and less than just a feeling and emtions but that orgasmic feelig and emtions was exactly how it totally become most of us at least to me and dominated by it! one thing that is good for when you concentrate yourself to be words is you don't have much room to 'think' you need to fixed yourself to be words and you type i mean when your dominated by that your stucked as a pillar of words inside you. i am beginning to get why Bernard was playing with words, he's not he's playing with himself as words which is not possible when you are plain typing and not being the living words, i presume.

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