After reading Osho's reply on AlexC's Heart Attack Post, i realized that it is the nature of us - the Sound Expression that is Here and is the nature of us, not constantly Fishing from the Past Generating the Future and inside the mind. interesting, i used to ask why Here? is it because of some special Reason that being Here is Required/is the solution. at least it is a further explanation to the why of Here, it rings the bell right away from the "feeling" of how Sound is like - sound is not like energy and everything is sound expressions, sound is constructed from sound expression. currently using sound as a Transport media inside me is not a proper way of expressing what the truth is but from the current limited information |o|, information is not me but i need them as a guidance, it should be a better way of operating through my body. at least, in compare to energetic surges floating all over my body. it is so interesting to read Desteni's materials, what i mean is, somethings it take a long time to realize what the articles' talking about, i seldomly get what they mean right away but it's getting better though. sometimes, they point out things that you inside feel so right like yes this is it. when i was translating the Sex Porn and Masturbation Addiction. when i first read it, it was like what are you talking about? it is not the picture that i was aroused to masturbate? would that be crazy to say so? but now, when i have to Ponder and Realize everything into my own words, i absorb and realize what he means in the article and i slow down my experience during masturbation in the past and i found that he's right, it is not exactly because of the pictures that arouse me sometimes it is the hint of the actions and expressions of the female pictures that's expressed and message us/pretending she has the same "feeling" inside that arouse us, hence one can say we are not addicted to the picture but picture as a disguise. i presume it happens the same on porn novels - words. if one really want to delve on this topic i presume you will find the same as the pictures thus prove that it is not the pictures that got us aroused.
Also, have read a interesting post in the Chat Posts in Private Forum. Many "things/beings" have talked and summarized into a 4 pages thread. like smoke, snake tongue, flower pedal speaking insightful things/things that i don't realize/know. like they mentioned, i presume ultimately, nothing will left and everything/every being will be one and just one which is life equally. at this moment yet operating through the mind, the idea of losing uniqueness is worried. i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear oneness and equally without uniqueness. it is strange that what we fear is become a robot but the fact is we are robots already which what we believe are almost nothing is true, we are yet not real, we are yet systems and yet not life - yet. However, self is good and i didn't realized that the feeling of self is so good that you won't chase for other things on earth 'cause you know those things can only quell your thirst for a while not long enough you need to hop for another one and another one. like an addict but you never quit you can't you were looking for something to fill inside you - and as far as i know it is yourSelf actually you are looking for |o|.
Still have difficulties in coordinating my Actions in the 3D world. everything/move that you do interacts with your future. i mean, in this case, everyone would be forced to sit around all day with Self and can't do much. Like, typing, walking, cooking, sitting on chair/sofa all these have consequences, even the words that i am typing now |o|. how difficult would that be to act in this world |o| only we haven't been realized it for many years, many and many. but you still need to perform, currently still need to have some basic performances and actions like eating|o|. even when you are scratching your hair everything need to be considered as me. will not run on the ground unnecessarily |o|. lots of things/me that need to consider quickly for a simple action, and i prefer not to think. it is the way that should be but i don't realized and taking so much for granted. i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself taking air, words, water and body for granted and not consider they are the same as i do.
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