Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Self Translating[in Every Moment] instead of eg. Reading

I usually write at end of the day but this time i wonder what it is like and i should not be limited by the 'time' periods to perform what tasks. last night i was reading back some posts in Desteni after some translation works and surprisingly found out winged has reply in my Self-Forgiveness Post[it more like pieces of what i have posted here for others to see if i see there are values in assisting others] so i 'read' on, it was 'difficult' to 'understand/realize' [because i was still through Reading], even after couple of times i still not fully get what she means but i was getting something out of it that i realize/for sure. so walking a little bit inside the house after dinner then try to watch a episode of TV drama but the computer broke out[something to do with the rams it has happened before] so no drama go to mom's bed sleep next to her for a while. there, i was keeping in my breathe as usual and sort of being Here and working/trying on various methods that i have absorbed then in a moment i pay attention to it is i through translating and i becoming one and equal to the words that i read - momentary. so i begin working on 'Translating' all night, like translating my breathe, my body, Here, Darkness[which is a very warm and exciting feeling/beingness], Self-Forgiveness, Self-Honesty or even my mind and so on...

It is a funny experience, that through you Translating 'things' you have more vivid beingness of that subject instead of just a mere 'understanding' on the surface. it doesn't matter for the results[for at this stage i presume] it is the process of you translating that subject to bring you to that subject and being one and equal to it because for you able to 'translate' you have to/sort of 'required' to in the translating process being it 'First' then/or else you won't be able to Translate it out through you. this is quite a big difference between you realize through Translating than Reading/Watching[which i presume as translating through the mind and you experience the results] so it is not just words/articles that you can translate for instance, you can even translate words itself and common sensely one day you will become the words - the living words.

So, this morning i added the Self in front to become Self-Translating whatever i participate into. whether i am cooking, walking, eating or so i translate my actions through self - continuously and of course while keeping the 4 count Breathe. it is quite different than what i usually do that i tend to forget afte awhile, which when Self-Translating the imprints are still vivid that i can Recall it even now for what i have done this morning but i am still in my breathe here and that was not possible since in the past whenever i was concentrating on my breathe all my functionalities inside halted/stopped and i become rigid inside just hanging on the breathe. in my realization so far, it doesn't matter if your bi-lingual or not even in your own language you can still 'Self-Translate' whatever around you because the point is/could be 'Self-Translate' or 'mind - translate' that matters. Self-Translate is a way of beingness not just only applicable in translation works. when i 'Self-Translate' Sunette's reply and 'The Chronicles of Jesus' article, i at least 2 times more realize than last night/when i have read them in the past.

one thing i find interesting in practical application is for instance when your s**ualy aroused, you Self-Translate the arousal itself, keep Translating it and it will quell quite quickly. i haven't encountered other situations yet but i presume Self-Translating works on Anger and Frustrations too.

Still currently have some troubles in arranging interactions of everything in my outer world effectively. what i mean is for every actions, eat, type, sit on a chair, driving car, breathe i am taking other form of me's advantages and i am creating my future as them. no body wants to suffer but for these trade offs that i currently needed to live who and how should i arrange my future 'pay backs' through my current takings from my surroundings? |o|, this sometimes makes me confused even when i walk on the ground. Nothing can be taken for granted.

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